Monday, July 25, 2011

The Further Adventures of Boron (World's Most Boring Man)

A few weeks ago, a woman tried to manipulate me.

She wanted information about certain industries in Malaysia, and I was just happy to oblige.

She then tried to dig in further by slamming my facts, as if they are worthless.

"The Internet in the States is making almost US$400 billion a year."

"That's it? That's all?"

I did not expect a shocked look on her face. When I convey facts, the audience is not to be astonished - that is not what I aim for. In fact, I do not aim for anything, including the toilet, and I had no expectations.

I mean, I don't have US$400 billion. Neither does she, or anyone in the world. But saying that is similar to saying, "I bought a tampon at Pasaraya KK just now. The change was US$400 billion. As I exited the shop, I wiped my ass with the money and threw it all on the floor. It was just US$400 billion."

Do you know how much time it takes to wipe US$400 billion on your ass?

Let's say they are all 100 dollar bills. And it takes one second to wipe one 100-dollar bill on your ass. That's four billion seconds, 66666666.67 minutes, 1111111.11 hours, 46296.3 days, 1543.21 months or 128.6 years.

Illogical. Nonsensical. Oh, but that was just the analogy.

I convey facts as facts. Hearsay as hearsay. Conjecture, I don't even bother.

However, this woman immediately seemed to me as if someone who was trained and conditioned by being around egotistical people - and having turned into one herself - to try and manipulate others by playing on their egos.

Me? I'm trained to be judgmental. I just don't advertise it because my judgments are key to my success.

So I just smiled and looked at her boobs. I never shared another shred of information with her ever again.