My sleep patterns have been erratic, since I started taking my flu meds. Sleep for two hours, wake up. Sleep for 8 hours, wake up.
It's 5.32am, and my mind is still fresh. Now let's see if I can bore myself to death. I mean, to sleep. La petit morte and all that bullshit. Or is it LE? Goddamn Frenchies!
My flu is very much under control. My nose has stopped running since last night and is now rather walking. I still get the occassional sneeze here and there, but I believe the meds - antibiotics and a nameless yellow pill, along with my assorted arsenal of medication I have stahsed around the house - have been very effective.
I have been taking 4L of water a day, which is twice the human necessity. I know this because I measure my water intake. Eight 500mL bottles of water every day, or two and a half 1.5L bottles of water a day.
I also ingested around 4L of orange juice during this period and upped my vegetable intake. There were also some vitamin C I have lying around.
If all go according to plan, I'll be up and running tomorrow. There's an event and a deadline on Saturday night.
Last night, I was approached by another possible job opportunity. However, since I have already committed myself for the remainder of the year and perhaps beyond, I can only perform advisory roles for these things.
Once I get better, I can do even more stuff. I aim to clear as many things as possible in the month of July, leaving August - Ramadan - free to finally write my novel for Fixi. If I play it right, and manage my time properly, I can do it.
Because these things - all of it - are under my control. Some things are not. Wishing for things to be different - for example wishing that these mineral water bottles and discarded tissue papers around my house would turn to gold would not actually turn them to gold.
In the past few months, I have made peace with PTPTN and also my credit cards. I have one credit card left to pay, and after that I am not going to use any credit cards.
Also, I aim to move on from writing proposals, letters and plans to actually writing more things. Teaching has been a good experience, if only because I get to have a good look at writing with an academic view. However, the students also taught me a lot of things as well.
Reminded me that whole universes can be self-contained, and that what matters to a group of people, means jack shit to others.
I mean, seriously. It is nice to know - to realise - that with each new people you meet, your life is enriched simply because you tend to see a great deal more.
A lot of people - especially those abused women who always seem to find their way to talk to me - can sometimes get lost in a very incestuous group of perspectives.
You go to different places, meet and talk to different people, and you get to see more things or the same things, but different viewpoints.
Am I making any sense? Who cares? I'm not paid for this shit.
All I can say is that sometimes, in the past few months, I felt the walls closing in. At some point, it seemed as if a lot of doors were closed, a lot of paths blocked.
Then, at other points, it seems as if there were too many paths. Life is, if I am allowed to wank, indeed a wheel.