Saturday, October 25, 2008

Captain's Log

Today, I crapped a big one.

I was sitting on the primum mobile and I just let the piece of shit out, slowly. At first, it was a struggle. And then, I waited as inch by inch, the huge piece of shit exited my rectum.

After the full minute it took to exit my body, I felt a calm set over me, a relief, as if I had meditated under the Bodhi tree for 45 years.

It was a fantastic, epic, bowel movement.

In the glowing aftermath, I sat on the couch, clean as a newborn babe, with the fans turned on, and I watched Discovery. And smoked.

This, my friends, is living the life.

An epic shit, Discovery Channel and a cigarette.