Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Old Woman and the Sea

I was having one of those family council thingies, well, waiting for it, really, when an old beggar woman approached me.

She stank of cheap whisky. The kind of stink where you can tell there was more of the soury tang than the alcohol. Alcohol has a sharp, distinctive odor or vapor. The sour and bitterness of whisky, well, that has a smell too.

She was asking for money, so I said no. If she had asked for a drink, being truthful about it, I might have said yes. I saw her accosting some people the other day in Bangsar. He was a douchebag who yelled at her, so I guess it was cool. What was not is to have these people, out of their minds, running around.

Then again, I'm out of my mind, and perhaps the entire Malaysian political bullshit is also out of their minds. They're still running free.

I do not agree with people yelling at beggars and crazy people. Some of them have a real tough time. Some, are conmen.

After the woman, was a blind guy. He was not blind. I stare at blind people. SOme of them stare back. Big mistake. Authentic blind people also have a peculiar way of walking.

They put their torsos back and their feet forward. They always stay grounded and have a low center of gravity. This is perhaps out of necessity. If you're blind, you tend to fall over things. Keeping your center of gravity low and putting your feet forward while walking makes sense.

Also, some blind people do wear watches, but usually ones with the hands, with the glass cover removed. They feel the hands and can tell what time it is. This guy was wearing a digital watch. Which would also have been fine, cause some blind people ask seeing people to tell them the time using their watch.

This guy, he was walking with his body arched forward, and he doesn't drag his feet. Then, he looked at me, who was staring at him, twice. He held a blind man's cane, but did not use it to get off the curb.

Blind people are also more careful when carrying things. This guy was swinging a plastic bag full of stuff like a pendulum.

My, oh my. All these flaws, and you hope to fool me? You can't fool anybody, fool!

This is my hobby. I judge people. Hahaha. I look for what is said and what is not said. I look for habits and non-verbal signs.

When people talk, it is always about themselves. Everybody lies. I find that lying is very condescending and pedantic. When you lie, you expect the other person to be stupid. Stupid enough to swallow your bullshit.

This is why, out of respect, I have always gone for The Truth. It has always gotten me into trouble, but it is the only way I know how to communicate. Unfortunately, since everyone lies, they all don't believe me.

No matter. It is not my concern.

I enjoy observing. The rich insecurities and awful truths they are all hiding - usually from themselves. Doesn't make me smart. Just makes me watchful.

The old story of the old woman and the sea goes like this. An old woman pees in the sea. "Every little bit helps," she said. And she is right. I can see that. It is both futile and noble.

And there is a play on the word 'bit', which is a corruption of 'bitch' in there somewhere.

In this, I am that old woman, and the sea is a world of people pissing on themselves.

I laugh at the joke this world has become, because being a comedian is the only thing that makes sense.