Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Man Who Knows Fear

They shot me yesterday.

With an HD camera.

I was rushing from place to place and I did not have any sleep the night before that, so I was afraid that I would say the wrong thing. Had the normal jitters in front of the camera.

Despite being enveloped in fear, I believe I did okay. Not great, but okay.

I am not Hal Jordan, who has no fear. I am more of a Kyle Rayner - the man who knows fear.

I know fear. I can sense it, be it in myself or in others. Most people are gripped with it.

Me? I'm deathly afraid of failing, but that has never stopped me from doing anything and almost everything. Because I am more concerned with not doing anything at all. My greatest fear, is not even giving things a try. Not drugs or bestiality, but stuff that is out there.

Whenever I have nothing on my plate, I get scared. When I have too much, I get scared as well. The thing is to find the proper balance.

As it is, I'll be working through the weekend for some stuff.

I have things to complete towards the end of the year, and my plans for next year - both for my current job, the paper, and my other stuff.

I just need to close shop for this year.