So last Wednesday, I told my boss:
Me: Hey, nigga, I gots me an appointment with a dentist today. So Imma make like a tree and get the fuck outta here. Don’t call me, foo!
Boss: Shittt-dogg! Go forth, me son. And don’t come back without super pearly whitey-tighteys.
So I took a cab and went to my old hood - Bangsar. Went to the dental clinic, only to be greeted by the receptionist.
Me: I am the two o'clock appointment?
Receptionist: Oh, the dentist took a half day. He has a toothache.
Me: What? I had this appointment a month ago!
R: Can you come tomorrow?
Me: No, I can't come tomorrow. I'm working. 9-5. 10-6. Whatever. I can't come on Thursday. Can I come on Saturday?
R: Yeah, okay, here's a spot. 10.30am. Is that okay?
Me: Yeah, okay. Damn, I set this appointment up last MONTH. Couldn't you at least called me last week or yesterday and say that the fucking dentist has a toothache?
R: We tried, this morning. But we couldn't get you. Would you like to come tomorrow?
Me: No, I can't come tomorrow. I'm working. Remember? And I need an MC cause my boss will flip when he finds out I don't have an MC.
R: It was a new girl who called you. And we can't give you an MC, cause the dentist is not here. Can you come tomorrow?
Me: No! I can't come tomorrow! I have a job! I do not exist simply to become a patient. I am a three-dimensional character! I have a life aside from being a patient to your dentist. I cannot come tomorrow. Today, I had to get a day-off, planned it since last week.
R: Okay...can you come tomorrow?
Me: NO! I! CAN'T! COME! TOMORROW! What part of that don't you understand? You want me to speak like William Shatner? I. CANNOT. COME. TOMORROW. BECAUSE. I. HAVE. A. JOB. AND. A. REAL. LIFE.
R: Hmmmm. Can you come tomorrow?
R: ... Because tomorrow, the doctor will be in.
Me: Look, why don't you call me tomorrow.
Then I left, and found a dental clinic across the road and was told that the cost for repairing my teeth would be over a thousand bucks. And I have to go every week for a month.
"Don't worry," he said, "You can always pay me installments."