Iiiiii don't wanna grow up! I'm an Ann Summers Kid...
The emotion for today is...anger!
I don't know why, but ever since I got to work in the morning, I became extremely irritable.
No, I didn't shout at anyone or slapped them or castrated them, spayed them or anything, but throughout the entire day, all I could feel (and this is without a heart, mind you) was anger.
Pure, white, incandescent anger. For no reason.
I struggled to contain my anger within me, lest I explode and injure innocent bystanders.
I was so angry, so full of wrath, that after work, I went and bought myself a knife. It's a stupid everyday Italian-made utility knife. Ten bucks. Three-years warranty.
Then I went and bought some tomatoes. Cameronian. And some lettuce. Cheese. A loaf of wholemeal bread.
Then I took a cab, went home, sliced the tomatoes with a knife, opened a can of tuna, washed the lettuce and fixed myself two tuna-lettuce-tomato-cheese sandwiches. A combination I had doubts to, but I must say is quite nice. It works.
Man, I don't want to grow up. I wished that when I was born, I immediately turned 40. To prepare for death. I wish that I could have experience, without experience.
If I could rate myself today, I'd give a passing mark of 82. I didn't let the anger interfere with my work, but I also did not use it to motivate me further anyway. And some people - the sensitives - could sense my anger. They stayed away. Or didn't get in my way.
I don't know. I don't know why I was angry today, for a full entire day. I was really, really, angry. The thing about growing up is learning to contain and control your stupid fucking emotions.
I hate growing up. I'd rather be dead than to grow up. But for the past couple of years, I grew up a lot. I had to. Giant, behemoth-sized responsibilities were heaped on me. Some of them my own, others well, because SOME people decided not to be responsible for their shit and their lives and SOMEBODY had to take care of it. I am no longer responsible only for myself, but also other people. It's not an easy job.
But I'll be damned if I let any of this emo shit get to me. I am the best. The greatest. I am the king of kings. The genius (who would also like to be a whore).
But first, the daily porn...
Iiiiii don't wanna grow up! I'm an Ann Summers Kid...
