Monday, April 7, 2008

I am Such a Genius

Why do I have to do everything myself?

You stupid fucking politicians. Not even a month after the March 8 elections, and you guys still suck.

I mean, where are the giant robots and naked chicks and shit? What's with all this politicking? Oh. Sorry. I forgot. You're politicians.

Okay, fine.

Anyway, INSTEAD of fighting among yourselves and vying for positions, why can't our politicians fight the future?

I mean, no one talks about hydrogen fuel-cell cars and I just don't get it.

In today's modern technology, we have cars that run on air. Fucking air, foo!

As well as flying cars. Yup. We have them. Today. Now.

So imagine flying cars that run on air. AIR! Or hydrogen fuel-cell. Using Li-Ion, of course. That's Lithium Ion, foo!

The advantage of using hydrogen fuel-cell cars is that after a few miles, you can plug it into your house. Not to recharge, but to power up your house. Excess electricity can then be sold to TNB. So instead of getting a bill from TNB every month, YOU send THEM a bill.

Hydrogen fuel-cell is THAT efficient. Given our penchant for setting records, why aren't we the first country to completely use hydrogen fuel-cell cars on the roads? Or at least hydrogen fuel-cell cabs. Or Hydrogen fuel-cell airport cabs?

Talking about cabs, a lot of cabs switched to LNG already. Why aren't all cars NGVs? Why aren't we letting ALL petrol stations to put up LNG refuelling pumps? If Petronas wants a monopoly, let them. But make sure that every Petronas petrol station has an LNG pump.

And then, there's this.

A friend of mine told me recently that his friend, a woman, was beaten up by her husband. Big fucking deal, right? I mean, divorce is the best medicine for the disease we all call marriage.

So this woman, right, she lodged a police report. You know what happened? The police laughed in her face.

I suggest that all abused women start poisoning their husbands. I mean, if the police won't do anything except laugh their heads off, and our politicians are too busy fighting for part posts, just go and poison the fuckers.

Best yet, get him hooked on drugs. Then it would be easy to just OD the motherfucker. A clean murder. Blame it on the stupid junkie.

Man, I was having a hard-on with all the new line-ups and shit. I was waiting for the new Parliament and new state governments to descend from their Halls of Justice and kick some ass, Justice League style.

I expected them to come down from the mountains and bring Ten Commandments from God. I expected a parting of the Selat Teberau.

I expected them to fulfill their campaign promises, should they win, and they did.

Anyway, fuck the manifestos. we all know it was ahalf-hearted attempt anyway. Oil prices have not gone down, you fucking LIARS! Prices of nothing has gone down, unless they're listed on Carrefour's whatever promotions shit.

I expected Gods to walk the earth. I expected superheroes.

Instead, these politicians are just that - politicians. Just open your eyes and ears for any big spending by any of the political parties. A new this or a new that. A few million dollar purchases here and there, a few Monica Lewinsky scandals and the mighty righteous motherfuckers who claim to be on the side of the true and just will be revealed as just another bunch of opportunistic liars.

Man, I am such a genius. You guys should make me a senator. I'll make sure this country is so fucking good. And then my sex-tape will come out. But not before I create an off-shore account with USD400 million in it.