Monday, April 14, 2008

Sufiah Yusuf Nekkid Pictures

God damn it, man. What the fuck?

I flipped through The Star today at a restaurant during dinner, and what do I see? A big picture of Sufiah Yusuf's brown ass plastered over a few pages dedicated to prodigies.

As the world's leading expert on prodigies and geniuses, I must say this: leave her alone.

She wants to be a ho, so let her be a ho. If she tapped out and said, "I don't have a choice cause my boyfriend/husband forced me into sucking dick." Then by all means, round up some Islamioc extremists, storm her flat (Cause this is the UK, yo!) and fucking get her back to a scientific calculator or something.

I find there are two, no, three issues to this case:

1. Geniuses want to be hos
2. People think whoring is bad
3. People suck

Okay, let's start with number one.

1. Geniuses want to be hos

You know why somebody as smart as Sufiah want to be a ho? Cause geniuses, we know the deal. All each and every one of us ever do in life is becoming prostitutes to so many different people and parties.

We bend over for that paycheque at the end of the month. Maybe a pat on the back or two.

I mean, all of us had to be paid to do our jobs because, in other circumstances, we'd rather not do it. Otherwise, why do we even take leave, foo?

The only people who are not whoring themselves are those who do their work anyway, and they happen to get paid for it. Like Neil Gaiman. He loves most parts of his job, or so it seems, and he'd write thopse damn books anywa. But he just happens to get paid for them. Paid a lot.

Anyone not in the same frame of mind are hookers. All of us. Even celebrities whore themselves out for public opinion, for public consumption. That Paris Hilton bitch knew this, that's why she came out with that sex tape - TO SERVE MAN.

Sufiah, in my opinion, just wants to get the bullshit out of the way. Boil life down to its empirical essence - prostitution. She is, after all, a math genius. Don't be raining on her parade, foo!

And she said, "I'm being treated like a princess."

Blame Disney, motherfucker!

The Princess industry is a multi-billion dollar cash cow, milking it from cows who dance to the tune of Peabo Bryson and Celine Dion slagging off Beauty and the Beast for 100,000 American dollars a pop. Complete with a Cinderella pumpkin-carriage ride.

And who has to pay for it? The man, that's who. Otherwise he a bad nigga. Like Eddie Griffin said, "Whatever happened to falling in love with a nigga with a bus pass, just cause you love the nigga?"

Now it's all, "You got to treat me like a princess and lick my clitoris and shit."

Bitch! That was a damn cartoon, you stupid cunt!

And then they get married to people who could promise them a pumpkin carriage, Celine Dion CDs or heaven.

Motherfucker! You're all going to hell, motherfucker! Ain't no heaven for you. The gates to heaven closed a few hundred years ago. Ever wonder why Muhammad SAW cried on his death bed? Why his last words were "Ummati, ummati..." (My people, my people...)

Cause he saw the future. He saw me, or people like me, and he saw YOU. Yeah, he saw your ass, motherfucker.

Whisky-drinkin', masturbatin', butt-fuckin', ho-pimpin', slut-fuckin', pumpkin-carriage worshippin', suicide-bombin', opposition-votin' motherfuckers!

All a you! Motherfucker!

Little boy, you're goin' ta hell! - DVDA

Which brings us to the second issue:

2. People think whoring is baddd

Fuck you. Oh, if she charges for sex, she a bad bitch. If she asked her boyfriend/husband for an S-Class before giving head, she a smart GF/wife? Fuck you, you fucking hypoclit!

So if people were whoring around, we should 'save' them? If the parents decide to slap on RM100,000 dowry on their daughter's cunt, that's keeping high standards?

Fuck that, man. Sure, SOME hos are forced. But you take a survey and ask 100 hos, what would they prefer to do - be a ho or man a McDonald's counter?

Guess what their answers would be?

Ho: Well, if manning the cash register gets me RM20,000 a month, sure, why not.

The popular hookers in Phuket alone make RM10-20K a month. I know a few who do. They got Civic coupes with fucking DVD players in 'em. Two houses, one in Phuket and one in Chiang Mai.

Hell, when I heard that, I was even thinking of becoming a ho myself. I mean, I'm a genius too.

Not even GMs of some companies can even dream of RM20k a month, motherfucker!

What you expect her to do? Give up RM20K a month and work for 30 years to become a chain manager of McDs'? To get back where she started? Wait. To NEVER get back where she started?

And most hos don't think what they're doing is wrong. Otherwise, they wouldn't be doin' it.

Sure, give 'em a choice. But that's ALL. A CHOICE. Not some condescending bullshit judgemental SWAT team forced-entry into her house. You fucking nitwits.

Ho: Oh, save me from this life of RM480,000 -a year lifestyle. And the best sex of my life. Please save me.

And finally:

3. People suck