Sunday, January 11, 2009


So tonight I went first to the National Press Club, as Arnaz promised that it would be full of horny women.

It was not, so I left with Cheepork and went to see a couple of friends - Rodek and Tapai.

Rodek is writing a play and Tapai is going for an audition tomorrow. They brought their scripts and I asked to see them.

Being rich kids, they can afford to indulge in the artsy fartsy shit.

Me, the only way I will do a play is probably if I have three million to burn to do Amir Hafizi - the Musical. At either Istana Budaya or Stadium Putra.

It would incorporate tales and passages from the Bible, the Koran, the Talmud, the Torah, the tenets of Scientology, South Park, Sandman, Deep Purple, Eminem, Mazinger Z, Rig Veda, Yagjur Veda, Atarva Veda, Tao Te Ching, Watchmen, Sin City, The Far Side, Dilbert and Planet Simpson.

It will start with my birth, skip my childhood and teenage years, cause that's mostly me being asleep and avoiding getting raped in the ass, and continue with me as an adult, travelling through time and killing Kublai Khan and fucking the most beautiful women in history.

Then I would die saving the earth from a Xenu-Joseph Smith hybrid, only to be resurrected four days later as a planet-sized transforming robot. With a dick the size of Asia.

I then destroy the universe and explode for another Big Bang.