I am Boron - the Most Boring Man in the Universe!
With my super boring explanation powers, I can get girls to sleep with me.
Today, I, Boron, checked my e-mails and saw: a message from NAJIB!
Yes, a message from Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, my uncle twice removed, who will be the next heavyweight Prime Minister of Malaysia!
Sensing millions, maybe even billions in free IJN money, I, Boron - the most boring man in the universe - opened the e-mail.
It was a new year's greeting! Sent to anyone and everyone who registered with Najib's 1Malaysia website, handled by the shady Ethos company.
Alas, it was not free IJN money for me.
But I, Boron - the Most Boring Man in the Universe - will not give up. Never surrender.
One day, I will bore this country and its people to give me my millions!
Beware the wrath of Boron!