Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Take the Red Pill

Some of my Chinese friends wished me a Happy New Year for Hari Raya.

Well, that's not really it, but thanks for the wishes. Appreciate them.

Somehow, it does feel like a new year to me. Lots of things happened in the past year.

For example, I followed - or perhaps still follow - a strict code of honour which I cobbled together from comic books. That meant setting rules for my abilities great and small, creating safeguards so I would never misuse them.

It also meant burdening myself with a very heavy concept of responsibility.

Also, I suppressed what is deemed as my 'evil side' in order to be a superhero.

Well, that was not it. All sides of me are mine. I identify with it to fulfill a function, an aspect, in a moment of time, and then I let it go. Because who we really are is just so much more than mere definition. Blah blah blah.

'Gnothi seauton'. Inscribed at the doorway to the oracle at Delphi. It means 'know thyself'.

I am no longer burdened with imaginary responsibility, which is actually judgment and arrogance. I also have let go of my guilt, which means no one - not even my mother - can control me.

I am more aware of the ego and my pain-body as I have ever been.

Do I have the answer to everything? No. But I am pretty accurate.

I still believe in some form of karma. The evidence is just so overwhelming. You do good stuff, with a clear and benevolent intention, and you will be surprised as to how it is repaid. You do bad shit, or things with dark intentions, and that path only leads to suffering.

See, nothing good can come out of bad shit. Bad juju leads to bad juju. You poison yourself with bad intentions and spite and you waddle knee-deep in your stupid filthy lies. What happens to your existence? It becomes unreal. It becomes un-life.

I see it happen in front of me, man. It's inevitable.

Not to say that we should do good shit just to get rewarded or avoid bad stuff because we are afraid of being punished. That's dumb.


Good shit is when you be with a clear conscience. When you keep it real. That's when you are in line with The Truth. And The Truth is so powerful that it needs no defending. When you are in-line with it, nothing can ever touch you. Nada. Not a single motherfucking thing.

What I sense from most people, is fear. We are surrounded by fearful people. Actually, it's not them. It's basically their egoes. Their egoes are so afraid of being annihilated, of becoming less, that it is in constant fear.

Fear of losing out. Fear of being wrong. Fear of being ridiculed. Fear of not being cool. Fear of not being part of something.

And like a drowning person, they do desperate shit that you deem unacceptable. This, THIS, used to drive me nuts.

The thing is, you can choose to accept that these people weren't the ones who did it. It was their egoes. They are either unconscious, stupid or both, and they do these really dumb, dark, spiteful shit.

And that is no cop out. I am not justifying any of their actions, no. They have failed in their roles, in their purpose, which is to awaken. That is their failure.

And it is not my responsibility to wake them up, because I am not responsible for them.

May God/Science/Eywa/Atheismo have mercy on your souls. Because I don't.

I am just am.