Monday, September 13, 2010

Walking on Water

They didn't say it, but most people - doctors, friends, relatives - seemed to have given the impression that my father would never get better.

He's had four strokes. One major cardiac arrest before 40. Diabetes. Etc.

For a long time, this has been worrying me. It was the biggest thing on my plate. I even explored spirituality to deal with the inevitable.

That one day, everyone dies. Including him, and also me.

People say they know about death, but I find that for most, it's just lip service. Oh well. Not my place to judge idiots.

Even though my father's mind is growing older, his health has improved. This has surprised many doctors and experts we went to. It even surprised me. Two years ago, I thought we were gonna lose him by the end of the year. Last year, when he had his fourth stroke in June, I really thought that was it.

But he's still alive. Still stubborn as usual. He might even outlive me.

This is a relief. I no longer need to worry so much about him. When the time comes, the time comes. Whoever, whatever.

I can move on to other things on my plate. Things keep popping up. They always do. But none can be so bleargh as staring death in the face.