Saturday, December 10, 2011

Inside Amir Hafizi

I think I'm supposed to prepare something as part of some training material for new writers.

Well, best advice is still: Read. Write. Finish what you write.

If you want to copy style, there's only one way I know - read. And get into the mind of the author. Only when you see what they see, understand what they understand, can you write in that style.

So to help people out, this is what goes on in my mind, every day. I'll give you the first 30 minutes from waking up to reaching the office.

Wake up. Check Twitter. Nothing. Check email. 40 emails already. It's 8am.

Should I pee or smoke first? Which one is further away? The cigs are in my 'home office', around 10 tiles away from this bed. The bathroom is 8 tiles away. Pee first, because holding pee in causes kidney stones. And it's nearer.

After peeing, smoke. Sit down. Scan Gizmodo, Google News, Yahoo News. Scan feeds.

Go and take a dump. Shower.

Choose shirt. Must distribute colour. Wear red less. Red intimidates. Boxers. Pale-blue jeans for coloured shirts. Blue jeans for white shirts.

Tag. Bag. Shoes.

Walk out of apartment. Go down stairs. Give two sticks of cigs to guards. Walk to office.

Mentally go through everything in mental list.

See NSTP guards. Guys I've known for years. Scar on left hand. Knife? Motorcycle accident? Walk past. Smell of un-deodorised armpits. Must remember not to inhale next time.

Door to office. Glass. Double doors. See the gap at the bottom. Locked? No. See the gap between doors. Locked? No. Enter.

Anyone having breakfast? Any chance of getting food? No. Walk past meeting room. Say good mornings. Walk to my desk.

Walk to people who come earlier. Establish what time I came.

Log in. Sit down. Log in again because mis-typed password out of habit. Check emails again. Check Facebook. Check Twitter. mental list one more time. Boss around? If present, go to boss. If not, go to breakfast.

At mamak. Scan. Try to match people's faces. See the connections. Patterns. Some girls only have a set of five ensembles. Some, a bit more. Today, wearing a newer piece of clothing? Yes? No?

Colour choice. Mostly white/light colour - probably no period today.

Night make-up, at 9am. Why?

Guys with shirts tucked in. Where do they work? Guys, shirt tucked out. Face seem oily. Must be journalists from night shift. Other table. Hair slicked back. Too much oil/gel/wax. Keys. Alfa Romeo keychain. On table. Insecure?

Zone out. Fart.

Zone in. Twitter.

Wait for second fart. Then pay.

Time to go back to the office.