Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Things I Think About When I Meet People

These are things that go on in my head when I meet people for the first time.

1. Man, she reminds me of sanitary pads.

2. How do you shit with waist-long hair?

3. With a stomach that big, can his hand reach his anus? How many years since he last saw his dick?

4. God created deodorants for a REASON!

5. How did your father fuck the wrong mammal?

6. Oh. My. Science! I can feeeel the stupid oozing off your pores!

7. When is a good time for me to fart?

8. What is a good reason for farting?

9. Do I need to masturbate tonight?

10. Man, I wanna watch Glee again.

11. How do I shave my ass?

12. Does sitting in this chair give me the most wind from these ceiling fans?

13. Man, I wish I am at home, sleeping.