Tuesday, June 8, 2010


I am here, right now, because of patience. Not my own, I'm sorry to add.

My teachers and leaders all had been patient with me.

I was young, once, and I guess I still am. My instincts are to crush. Destroy.


It took a very wise man to say to me, "This is a marathon, not a dash. Pace yourself."

And of course, I didn't listen. I was too impatient, willing to do everything, if I could. If other people didn't want to do it, then I would. And that's how I found myself lying on a bed, hospitalised for stress-related complications. My blood-pressure was 150 over some obscene number.

As I watched Totally Spies on the TV set on top of my hospital bed, my mind began to produce philosophical antibodies.

Pushing myself, showed me my limits. And though I can do an extreme amount of work, my energy is not infinite. That's why humans work in teams.

Working in teams, means having trust.

THAT, was extremely difficult for me. I was betrayed and let down by so many people that if the proverbial backstabbing were real, there is no space for knives or spears on my back. I would look like a hedgehog.

Trust, and patience. Which together equals faith.

Patience was a hard nut to crack. Waiting for the moment to strike. So, I turned to Lucifer. The DC Comics Lucifer.

Mike Carey's Lucifer is extremely successful in his universe because he took the time to observe, listen, and strike only when it is necessary.

For a being of unlimited power in the universe, second only to Yahweh(God), I found his restraint to be his greatest strength. Because the light of the sun is simply warm. Focus it, and it can start a fire.

Trust. Patience. Focus.

Patience also opens windows to see the big picture. All our situations are the accumulation of smaller situations that asked us to make small decisions. The accumulation of that makes for even bigger decisions.

I find that if you focus on getting the small things done properly, you wouldn't notice it when big things come along.

Many people do not understand this. They immediately want to do big things. People who just started singing, immediately want to perform at Carnegie Hall, in front of thousands.

Well, if you could achieve that on the first day, then great. But what about something that would ensure continuous opportunities to sing at Carnegie?

Longevity. Delayed gratification. Patience. Building something takes time. If you cook, or garden, you will understand patience and the importance of it.

Water shaped the Grand Canyon. Not a big tsunami, but merely moving water, perhaps as slow and gentle as a faucet.

I am not a very patient man. But I am patient with myself. One day, I will have enough patience, and I am in no rush. I trust myself.