Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Man of Tomorrow: Zen-Master Sexay

"Why are you still here?" I asked.

"Well," he said. "Two reasons. One, there is nothing to bitch about in the future. It's like having BN lose the 12th general elections. They lost. There's no more fight. Nothing to struggle against. No giant well-oiled machine to go up against. In the future, you, me, us, we will not face anything anymore. So I guess the best and worst for I could ever encounter is myself - you."

"What's the second one?"

"It's time you grow up and reach maturity."

"I don't want to be mature. Mature is so...not me. And as the anthropomorphic personification of my own maturity, I fucking hate you."

"I'm more than just that, you know."

"So what are you going to do to me now? Shackle me to the ground again and try to manipulate my brain?"

"Obviously...that was a mistake."

"Hell yeah. I've always resisted manipulation of any sort. Why, just last night-"

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"The whining. Stop it. Here's the thing, man, people will do shit. That's a fact of life. They will lie and manipulate - try to manipulate - and do all sort of stupid things to you -"

"Because they disrespect my intelligence."

"Yes. That's one reason. Another, more prominent, primary reason is that they don't know any other way. In their sad, pathetic little lives, this is the only way they have ever experienced success. It's like dung bettles eat shit because that's the only food they know of. For millions of years."

"These people are not dung beetles."

"Yes. They're Malays."

"Point. So. What do I do?"

"You want to listen to me now?"

"Hey, I keep an open mind. I mean, I am the most righteous motherfucker in the history of mankind, but I do listen. I'm not an idiot."

"Fine. Learn to be still. You know the deal. You see it. You see their thoughts and future actions. You can feel their fear. Their insecurities. If I know myself - if I know you - we have always been able to sense the bad things in people's heads, whether they really exist or not. We're like the Malaysian police. We catch ALL the bad guys. Whether they're guilty or not. As long as they're not VIPs."

"Learn to be still? What kind of crap is that?"

"Accept the fact that these people are idiots who will try to manipulate you. If you react, then you have given them power over you. Just let it be. Let it go. And help those whom you want to help. Think about it, decide, and then help them. If they backstab you one day, be okay with it. Accept it. Embrace it. If they backstab you, it's because they're pathetic. And scared. And will never ever know true happiness."

"And what do I get?"

"Well, as the smartest man in all of Creation, you have the potential to find true happiness. And you will be happy. Simply accept things as they are, and then move on. To dwell on backstabbers and idiots is a waste of time. People DO NOT change. What are you hoping for, thinking, focusing your energy on them? Just leave them be. If they have backstabbed you in the past, chances are, they will backstab other people and they in turn will be backstabbed themselves. It's a cycle and only those with the right perspective will see it."

"So you're telling me to forgive and forget? I will never forget Milx owing me RM11,700!"

"No. Forgiveness is not the theme here. It's about serenity in the face of idiocy and adversity. If you can just not care about all the things other people are doing or saying or thinking, you can eventually focus on your great work."

"My Great Work."

"Yes. The only thing that's keeping you alive, and sane at the moment. People will be people. They are all idiots. Don't focus on them. Focus on yourself."

"But they're so...stupid."

"Yes, them and their little games. Sickening, isn't it? Those who want to be number one. Those who set you up to look bad in front of others so that they may look good. Forget about them. Be aware of where they are and what they are doing, be careful with those fuckers, but just leave them be. Focus on the things you like. You are not here to impose your will and your reality upon the reality of others. You are here to create your own universe while allowing the universe of others to exist alongside it. You must let go."

"It would have been easier to let go if I have a nuclear bomb."

"Well, just try it. You might like the results."

"What kind of results?"

"What do you want?"

"Well, I want two million ringgits in my bank account by the end of 2009."



Then I kidney-punched Zen-Master Sexay and killed him again. What an ass.