I'm older than Methuselah. Older than sin.
Man. In the past, I've often wished that I am already 40, waiting to die while reading newspapers at a pub. Wish I could have fast-forwarded my life to an early retirement.
Unfortunately, that's not all growing old is about.
I mean, when I was younger, I travelled the path of vengeance many, many times. I took my revenge on anything and anyone that crossed me, and I enjoyed it so. It doesn't take much, really.
I am in the business of information, in communication. I'm a trained journalist. I read people's perceptions and general trends. I see the nodes, and I see what happens when certain things are put through certain points and where they will end up. I can be a political assassin when I want to be one.
And if I did my job REALLY well, no one would know that I've done anything at all. The perfect murder.
I have seen people's lives crumble before me. Their dreams shattered. Unable to find true happiness, they scour for a fascimile of a happy existence. Usually, they go back to religion or into the arms of the hypocritical community they live in.
For the rest of their natural lives, they will be fake, pretentious and never know the real meaning of happiness.
It didn't take much to do, what I did. A small push here, a light pull there, and voila. The motherfuckers wilt and die. And none of them didn't deserve what they got.
But now, looking back, old as I am, ancient as I am, I'm beginning to wonder two things:
1. Did I really do anything, or was I just wasting my time?
2. What good have that ever done for me?
Number one, most people I destroyed were already on the path of destruction. They're usually stupid, ingenuine, fake, petty, self-sabotaging, self-proclaimed victims and stupid. I mentioned that they are stupid.
I mean, consider this: A man who demands that he be loved and respected, that he be given the time of day from other people, that he be given attention, will eventually destroy himself. I didn't have to do anything.
And a backstabber will backstab everyone (especially if he/she is a Malay) and no matter who he/she is in cahoots with, they will eventually either avoid him/her like the plague or they in turn will backstab him/her, before he/she could backstab them.
I saw this happen with my own eyes.
Many years ago, one guy kept backstabbing me. After I was gone from his world, and he didn't have anyone to backstab, everyone he worked with backstabbed him. Now he has to crawl back to his family and ask them to give him food. Possibly tampons as well.
That was fine, but the question is, did I really do anything? Looking back, I must say that no, I didn't. He managed to do that all by himself. But I kept on and on, focusing my energy on cursing him. And I don't even believe in magic.
People whom I hate usually share one thing in common - they're dicks. Motherfuckers. They're already on a self-destruct sequence. I really didn't have to do anything, and they would crumble and fall. So soft, so young, so lost and oh-so bloody fooooolll!
So it WAS a waste of time. My father was right. He used to say, "Don't do anything evil to evil people. They will get what they deserve - they will die."
Well, that's his simplistic way of putting it. The way I see it, people who are committed to doing stupid and evil things to other people are probably the saddest, most pathetic creatures on earth.
They might say that they're happy raping a 12-year-old, or molesting a 14-year-old, but is that real joy? So for fucktards, their punishment is not death, but life. As a fucktard. They're already serving pennance for their stupidity, by being stupid.
And I don't really have to do anything. It was all just a waste of my time.
Which brings me to item number two - what good has that ever done for me?
Well, I used to enjoy setting things up and watching them come together or fall apart around a person I don't like. It brought such laughter to me. Some of that I shared with you already, in the past.
But then again, my dream is to get millions of Euros and get the hell out of this country. What the fuck does punishing fucktards and monkeys and destroying their lives have to do with that? There are too many of them, and it would be better for me to arrange plots and scenes in a movie rather than tweak certain things in real life so that their lives would be destroyed. Cause it's already destroyed anyway.
Man, I AM getting old. And this world is getting old on me, too. Maybe the only thing worth plotting is for the end of the world. That way, I can take out fucktards wholsesale.
I hate Ahmadinejad! FUCKING PERSIANS! Come and do a nuclear test here, in KL, you fucking fucktard!
Kim Jong Il is a fag! Hilary Clinton is a MAN! Chairman Mao raped all his pigs before he ate them.
Send all your nuclear bombs to Malaysia, foo! I dare ya! I double dare ya!
Yeah. That takes care of Malaysia. And now, for the world. I will contribute to global warming as much as I can, because I believe that Everyone Should Die.
I pledge to help raise the temperature of the world by, say, 3 degrees? Thus, burning all the oxygen and suffocating all living things. Even the roaches will die.