Sunday, September 26, 2010

For the Man Who Has Everything

I grew up in a swamp. One day, the swamp was going to explode, so my parents put me in a prototype rocket and sent me to KL. Now, absorbing KL's pollution, I have powers others don't.

No. That didn't happen.

I was a geek in Kuantan, when I was bitten by a radioactive journalist, giving me the thing's proportionate intelligence.

Nah, that's not it.

I was testing the effects of swamp gases, when an explosion occured and I saved some stupid guy by throwing him into a trench. Caught in the blast of swamp gases, whenever I become angry or lose my control over my emotions, I turn into this incredible... thing.

Nope. That's not it.

My parents were gunned down before my very eyes. Now, I dress up like a bat.

No, no, no.

The truth is, I lived a normal childhood. As normal as it can get, in a swamp. The swamp kids had very little to offer me. So I stayed home and watched TV. I learned language from TV, cause back then the cartoons did not have dubbings. And read books.

My parents are not the best in the world. In fact, I believe they should not have married, let alone have kids. They're not the worst, either. They're just regular folk.

I don't blame them or anything, but I doubt they knew what to do with the four of us. Plus, some of us are extremely smart and they didn't know what to do with extremely smart kids.

I was not a difficult child. I saw what happened to my brother - the original rebel - and resolved not to get into as much trouble.

All four of us had an instinctive understanding, even when we were very young, that our parents were ill-equipped, at least financially, to support us all the way.

So we all left home when we were 12. Not in bitterness, not with anger, or fear, but with a sense for adventure and a yearning for freedom and independence.

My mother was a repressed woman, being a housewife all those years. SHe's smart, but never had a chance to be all she could have been. My father never had a home of his own, growing up, moving around all his life. So staying put and perfecting his home was a major issue with the man.

Us kids? It's always been about freedom. Seeing my mother, watching her as we grew up, the women in my family became extremely independent and strong. I hardly have ever met stronger women. Or smarter people. In their own capacity. They don't need men. They did not fall into the trap that in order for a woman to be successful, her pussy must be able to attract a dick.

We, the men, meanwhile - including my father - have learned to be cool and aloof. We know that the rules favour us, but we hardly if ever used it to gain unfair advantage. I mean, men can get away with almost anything. Abuse, irresponsibility, yadda yadda yadda. It's simple. Just blame the women. It is expected of us, right?

Well, we're not monkeys. We don't travel in groups, afraid of the wooly mammoth. We're just like, whatever, man.

I'll continue this later tonight. Have loads to do, and the first task is to take a dump.