In a year's time, I will be an Underwear-Model-Samurai.
After buffing up my body, I am going to learn jujitsu - Samurai hand-to-hand martial arts. And then, I am going to dress up like a bat. And patrol the rooftops of Bangsar Village. Possibly starting with Starbucks and on some nights - Sakae Sushi. Cause I'm a samurai and shit.
See, the romanticised notion of Samurai who would die before dishonour and loyal to their daimyos are actually a fabrication, an illusion. A lie.
It was concocted during the non-warring era of the Tokugawa rule.
See, the Samurais were the soldiers and warriors, employed during war. When there are no battles, they still enjoy payments and fucking the odd farmer's daughter or two, occupying a special place in society.
However, they realize that this will all change if the people realize that they have no use for them, especially in a time of peace.
So these samurais, they're usually very literate and learned, because a good education is important to being a samurai. They could read and write.
So these samurais started writing about themselves, giving themselves a code of honour, Bushido. Books like Three Rings or was it Five Rings detailed this code.
In the past, there are records of samurai running away and retreating after they found out that they could not win a battle.
"We stormed Edo stronghold for three weeks, and lost 300 men," wrote one ancient samurai. "You sem people gonna die? Shittt doggg! We're gettin' the hell outta here. See you later, broseph!"
But in the books, the samurais would fight to the death and commit seppuku if they ever lose.
This is the romanticised notion of the samurai. The way. The kata.
And all samurai following the peaceful period in Japan's history follows this romanticised version.
And it is THIS version that I embody. Carving for myself my own code of honour - the Code of Bukkake.
As with any religion, based on a lie.