Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Tales from the Drunk Side: The Sacred Feminine

Vi vagina veniversum vivus vici.

Translation: By the power of the vagina, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

I stole that from Dr Faust. Okay, I stole it from V for Vendetta (comics. not the stupid movie. They should have re-titled the movie S for Stupid for its sheer stupidity) which stole it from Faust.

You'll never believe me, but I am some sort of feminist.

I really am.

In the past, I thought that women hold the key to a better tomorrow. And not because of that John Woo movie.

This thought arose from my time spent in an all-male world - high school. I went to an all-boys boarding school, paid for by the Government. I would have said thank you and brandished my keris once or twice except for the fact that at this school, I had to watch my ass.

See, rampant child molestation and rape was happening all the time. Kids got beaten up for sleeping together by child-raping seniors. Or for walking in a certain way. Or for having too many buckles on their pants.

One kid got beaten up by a prefect because the prefect was too stressed from studying.

I saw one kid got beaten up so bad, he shat his pants.

Ever saw the movie Sleepers? Something like that.

So this, I realized, is a world controlled entirely by men. We were cowered into almost superstitious bullshit of 'outside' boys beating us up. And the eternal myth of strength in numbers.

The greatest fear was losing one's cool, one's street-rep. This was the beginning of my distrust with society and community as well as being 'of one mind'. The hive-mind.

As I slept away my teenage years, as I was forced to do 400 squats before I could eat, as I blew on the flourescent lights before I could go to sleep, as I participated in the endless cycle of violence and caste-making when I myself was a senior, I yearned for a more reasonable world. Because men, I thought at the time, are all boys. And boys will fuck each other up the ass if they thought it could make themselves look cool.

High school made me feel dirty, because I lived with no honor. I did not sstand up for what I believed in. I did not fight the good fight. I just slept and read books.

My only hope, then, was women.

Alas, when I left high-school, I discovered that one crushing truth. Women are stupid. Women are just as stupid as men are. In fact, it was not a matter of gender, but of society. Of community.

ALL societies, ALL communities are evil. The individual can only hope to lurk between its great shadows, and merely survive.

And thus I began my one-man war on society.

It wasn't until I discovered Thailand that I saw again the angelic vision of a world ruled by women. As I had seen it in my youth. In some parts of Thailand's bustling sex-trade, some women have managed to group together with a camaraderie I have only seen in comics and anime - like Frabnk Miller's Sin City's Old Town prostitutes and the planet ruled entirely by women in Gonzo Studio's Vandread.

The sisterhood was in place, but it was a fair one for men to co-exist as well. As punters. As motherfuckers.

My faith was restored.

A world ruled entirely by men would be something like Lordof the Flies. Fed with superstition and the illusion of the Macho Man Randy Savage, a world ruled entirely by men would be all about fucking each other in the ass.

At least, in a world ruled primarily by women, if you get raped, it would be a pleasurable experience.

Alas, I had to come back to Malaysia and face again the realities of THIS world.

So I joined the Oprah Book Club. If there is one sensible woman in this world, sans the self-promotion and theatrics, it would be that black priestess of power.

In fact, you combine the good attributes of Barrack Obama (black) and Hillary Rodham Clinton (woman), you get Oprah Winfrey (black woman).

In other words, to all the hot women out there, RAPE ME.