Friday, June 27, 2008

Tales from the Drunk Side: ...Along Comes a Candle

Erasmus Fry said, "Writers are liars, my dear."

Well, he said it in Sandman - Neil Gaiman's masterpiece, his Opus - as a comic character.

I honestly don't know why I wrote that. I am quite lugubrious at the moment. Quite high. Spent the whole night talking about conspiracy theories with Rocky and some spies and agents of Dr M and Najib.

Now I know all your fucking secrets. All you motherfucking politicians better give me money soon. Or I'll expose you. And for USD400 million, I'll give you Rocky.

C'mon. man. It's chump change for all a you fuckers. Just give me the fucking money.

Anyway, Erasmus Fry. He was a motherfucker. He kept a muse in his attic. Her name was Calliope. Kall-ee-o-pee. Or some shit. The youngest of the Pleidas.

Oh, how I wish I was raped and killed by the Baccae - the sisters of the Frenzy. The spurned lovers of the God Dyonisus or was it Dionysius. Goddamn stupid Greek names.

I wish I had a muse I could rape.


I'd capture her on a mountain somewhere. Using the old secrets. Burning her scroll and a garlic-rose or some shit.

One girl asked me the other night, "I thought you wanted a girlfriend?"

My response? "People hear what they want to hear."

I am already in love - with a city.

"A SITI?" Idiots would ask.

"No," I said, "A city. Bangkok."

I love Bangkok. Bangkok is my mecca.

Bangkok is my reason for living. So send me to fucking Bangkok. There exists nothing else other than Bangkok.


My madness, my madness keeps me sane.

Say, Freud said that when you dream of flying, you're actually dreaming of sex, then what does it mean when you dream of having sex?

Random, random, random bullshit we will go.

You want to know what's going on inside my head?

Sure you do!

How come Thai pussies have no smell?

I was reliably informed that I am a good fuck.

I was reliably informed that women will stay beaten up for nothing.

I think that getting beaten up is stupid. I tried to assert that getting beaten up physically, emotional or mentally is stupid, so that women can go on with their emancipation, but all they want is to be a victim.

Hey, I TRIED to make abuse uncool, but all women want to do is to protect their victim stories. What gives?

You think I don't know what it's like to be emotionally abused? Fuck you.

I am the greatest.

Worship me and we can all go to hell together. That's what you want, right? To go to hell.

Well, hell is other people. Rimbaud? Rambo? Robocop?