Friday, February 18, 2011

The Mallot Mullet

As the world's greatest political analyst, I must say that Mallot dude, saying bad things about Malaysia in his column - and getting a lot of reaction in return from Utusan and NST - is both right and wrong.

First of all, there is some racist tension in Malaysia. No denying that. But worse than 1969? Well, I don't see anyone dead on the streets. I can still go out and fuck a hooker - of all colours of the rainbow - if I want to, safely, but I don't, cause I'm a Muslim and shit.

No, man. I just go out and pray at Merdeka Square using the Malaysian flag as a sejadah.

Hey, I still remember how to pray. First is the, umm, Takbiratul Ihram, and then, umm...anyway, Mallot dude.

Secondly, we should listen to criticism. And if we don't agree or don't like it, just give them the finger. "Fuck off and die, Mallot!" That's what we should say.

Third, why the fuck is this Mallot dude saying shit about Malaysia? Does he miss fucking our prostitutes?

"Oh, Mona Gersang, your puki bersepah is so exotic. I feel like I'm fucking a badger," said a Mallot body double.

Is it the food?

What the fuck is an American (possible) millionare doing, criticising a third world country? Did Obama bitchslap him with a gun? Banned him from critisizing his own country? SO he gotta do it about other countries?

Was he paid by ANwar to suck his dick? I dunno, man. The fact that a rich guy is talking about Malaysia, for what? Did Pos Malaysia lose your package the last time you were ambassador?

Did the Zoo Negara animals bit your ears cause they starvin' and shit? What's your beef, Mallot?

I don't buy that, "I'm a concerned citizen of the world" bullshit. The last time we heard that, we got colonised for 500 years.

Until I figure out Mallot's interest, I'm taking whatever he's saying with a bag of chikin wings.