Thursday, March 27, 2008

Roddy, Give Me Strength!

There is a disturbance in the force. My Malay senses are tingling. I can't put my finger on it, but somehow, I have a feeling that something is not right.

This feeling has been bugging me all morning, afternoon and night. It usually comes when I'm fatigued, after a marathon of a few weeks without rest, or a few days without sleep.

Now, I'm all right. I don't have migraines anymore, and I have enough energy to pump some manly iron almost every day. Wait. That last sentence sounded gay. Ah. Who cares?

Something, somewhere, is not running as it should be. There is a missing piece to the puzzle.

I have a feeling like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and am about to fall down to jagged rocks and shit.

In these times of turmoil and emo shit, I turn to the best inspiration for a comeback - Rowdy Roddy Piper. The wrestler. Cause he's the best badass before they made it into a fashion statement.

You know what, I went through some weird ass tough shit through my life. I mean, I didn't get raped or anything. I didn't get molested. But I went through some weird ass shit.

Oh well. The best remedy for fatigue is even more work. If I focus on my emo shit, I'll never get anything done.

Therefore, right now at 1.08am, I am gonna go to the office. Work cures all. I am NOT afraid of hard work. I never was. And never will be. Well, maybe I'll go after this cigarette. And I am through, FUCKING THROUGH with being afraid to fail.

I will stand straight, as I usually do, and the world will judge me, as they usually do(if they have the time, and they usually do), and I am gonna drop my pants, show them my ass and give them the finger.

The only thing to fear is ME. I AM the best. I AM the greatest. The only thing I have to do is live up to my own fucking standards, which is not hard to do, if you're me.

Already called one of my colleagues. He's gonna drop by with a girl and pick me up and send me to the office. I need to go to the office. I need to do work. I need to clear my head.

I need to write. It's the only thing that keeps me sane. Roddy, give me strength!