Last night, I went to a seafood restaurant in Bangsar to catch up with two friends. There are these activists I met there, and they were holding a meeting of some sort. They’re quite well-known amongst the artsie-fartsies, so I’m just gonna call them LesCon, short for Lesbian Convention.
I was too lazy to get off my ass and get a cab, so I decided to stick around and listen to what the fuck these activists are doing. I’m a pacifist, their natural enema, so I became some sort of neutral observer or whatever.
They were talking about taking some action, cause they’re activists and what not, against this new up and coming group called Hujan.
Why? Cause Hujan stuck a carrot up their asses when the band made a statement during a performance. What was the inflammatory statement?
Hujan: Kami tak suka lelaki lembut (We do not like effeminate men).
BIG FUCKING DEAL, RIGHT?
So the people at LesCon went to LesCon 5 over that statement. Why? Cause they say that it’s a statement of hate.
I was like, “So you guys don’t hate, right?”
And they said, “Oh, we hate, depending on what it is.”
And then they started discussing plans to ruin Hujan’s shit.
I was like, what the fuck, man?
I asked them: Are you for freedom of speech?
LesCon: Yes, as well as all the artsy-fartsy stuff.
Freedom of speech. Goddamn. And yet they were bothered by a band’s comments about how they don’t like fags. And prepared to hate them back.
Why? Cause it’s a message of HATE?
Neil Gaiman, War be Upon him, said that "The tricky thing about freedom of speech is you also have to fight for the kind of freedom of speech that you don't agree with."
How about all the jokes and speeches the artsy fartsies made against the Government?
“We hate the Government cause they take our money and shit and are corrupt. Boo fucking hoo.”
I understand they meant hate as in gay-bashing. But what about hetero-bashing? What about Government-bashing? I don’t see any members of LesCon standing up when the Government got bashed. I don’t see them standing up and fighting for Singaporeans when our own comedians made fun of them. Isn’t that promoting hate, going by that pretentious logic?
What about the Danish cartoons about Islam. Those were inflammatory to a lot of people, and LesCon did nothing about it. Didn’t even say that it was wrong. In fact, I bet they just laughed at the stupid towel-heads. The non-liberal, conservative ragheads. The backwardness of the Islams.
Well, who’s conservative now, assholes?
Oh, noooooo. If it’s the Government or BN or UMNO, Singaporeans, Samy Vellu, Muslims it’s okay. But if it’s gays or effeminate men, then it’s not all right? No matter what they’ve done, they’re people too. I hate people. You don’t. So stand up for them and stop this message of hate, you fucking hypocrites.
Freedom of speech when it comes to atacking stuff you agree with. No freedom of speech when you’re being attacked. Real fair, assholes. Real mature. And that coming from me. ME.
So, what, if MY band, Kelapa Laut Afrika, was to come up with a statement saying, “We don’t like tuna. In fact, we HATE tuna.” LesCon members are gonna cry and kick a tantrum and sabotage my concert, now, is it? Cause we preach HATE. ANGER. DESPAIR. ANAL-SEX. WITH WOMEN. OOOOh. Anal sex with women. The horror. The horror.
What about the Dixie Chicks? They made that stupid statement hating Bush, who is the stupidest speaker in all human history. I don’t see LesCon going after them. What about all the stupid people Dixie Chicks were offending?
I acknowledge the fact that LesCon can retaliate to Hujan’s stupid statement by being assholes themselves and making their own stupid statement, but to DENY the right of that band to make their own fucking statements, stupid as they may be or not to acknowledge their rights is just so goddamn biased, stupid and hypocritical.
By all means, attack their statement. But never, ever, try to stop them from making those statements. Attack the statement. Don’t attack the poor kids. They’re just trying to make money while avoiding ass-rape.
And for God’s sake, lighten up. If Hujan really is homophobic, they can go the way of the Kylie. She dissed some gay people and her career was shut down for 50 years. Then she made a comeback as a cyborg.
Was LesCon there? Was GLAAD?
Hujan is in the entertainment world. The Malaysian entertainment world. It is controlled by gay people. Hell, I owe my career to gay people helping me out. I couldn’t reach the heights I am at right now if it weren’t for faggots pulling me up to stand on the same ground they’re standing.
Ning Baizura made a statement in FHM way back in the 90s which inflamed a lot of Islam radicals and Muslims. She learned it the hard way that this is a Muslim country, despite what everyone else says. Nowadays, she's a sweet media darling and also a fun person, within Malaysian boundaries. Hujan will learn their lesson as well. That this is the gay millenium.
I mean, whenever an artiste gets banned for saying something that inflamed the ruling whatever, these artsy-fartsies cry freedom of speech and shit. They cry oppression. They cry Nazi! NOW, they want to do the same. THEY want to be NAZIs. Nazi wannabes.
Furthermore, I’ve always suspected that homophobics are actually closet gay motherfuckers. Hujan’s lead singer has emo hairstyle. Have you listened to their album? It is in my subjective opinion that it is just a matter of time before they start sucking dick.
They were not saying,”Hell, take a hammer and kill the first faggot you see.”
They just said, “We don’t like effeminate men.”
Big fucking deal. I don’t like effeminate men…for fucking. They can pay me for a t-shirt anytime, foo!
Gay money is money.
Anyway, LesCon is planning to…get this…educate the people. Educate what? To stop hating gay people? Malaysians LOVE gay people. We give them most of our money, invite them to parties, where they become the life of, or half-life of, and in the case of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, we stood in front of his house, trying to prevent the police from taking him. Educate the people my ass. Thanks a lot for that condescending tone you adopted. Sounds a lot like the Government wayyyy back in 2007.
I wish there was an election and LesCon was a political party. I’d go and phantom vote in every constituency they contest, and in all of the places, they would lose by ONE vote.