Some people think I'm like George Constanza - socially awkward, geek-like tendencies, vulnerable to women.
The thing about women is that I was raised in a family of extremely strong women. They are the heart and soul of the family. We, the men, are all aloof, and we just don't give a shit. My mother and sisters kept everyone together, or we would have said, "Fuck off, man," and wandered off into three different sunsets, by the three suns of Arrakis.
The women of my family do not believe they need anything or anyone in their lives - and I believe it is true. Their themes are independence and overachievement. They are some of the smartest people I know.
Fiercely independent, these women follow a strict code of honour and they believe themselves to be the ones who maintain balance in the universe.
Having grown up with such strong feminist ideals, I was perplexed when I found myself at a school for gifted boys. I spent five years there, cursing a world where men are dominant.
You see, in a society where men are dominant, there are lots of drama with people prancing around constantly measuring anything against each other, when they're not measuring dicks.
I thought that a world with more women would make more sense. I loved that idea for a while, thinking all the stuff I read in books would happen if more women were around me.
I was immediately disappointed when I emerged into the world and found that women are just as stupid as men. They are just people with boobs and a vagina. And people STILL prance around, measuring things against each other in pointless bullshit.
I was so disappointed.
And then I went to Thailand.
And then there was Eckhart Tolle, and his teachings pointed to a complete understanding of people, the self as well as the universe.
I find that aside from the tools to have gratuitous sex, there is really no discernible difference between men and women.
They are all equally fucked up. With the same potential for greatness and stupidity.
I called my mother just now. I cannot help her. I am sorry. All the talent and intelligence in the world, all the gifts, the skills - real and imagined - and I can't help anyone other than myself. And if I ever let up, if I ever slip, then they would worry about me.
I am so sorry. I can't save any of you. Men. Women. Mother. Father. Family.
That last line was a reference from the movie Tarzan: Earl of Greystoke.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
I, Mercury
I once told a girl she had a moustache. My intention was pure. I just wanted to alert the tudunged girl she had a moustache. Not to laugh at her, but maybe to give her five bucks to get her moustache some threading.
She got offended.
I once told a person that certain things may not go their way. My news - again, well-meaning - provoked a tantrum. And weak machinations that annoyed me so much, I chose to not give a fuck about the fucker.
I have learned that people do shoot messengers, and I sure as hell will no longer be that bearer of bad news.
So the good news is, the world will end. Regardless of what we do, the world will die. If we stop struggling so much, maybe we would have some time to enjoy the bondage.
Some people believe that merely the force of feeling bad will change things. It doesn't. Feeling bad has never and will never do anything.
Anger, guilt, sadness, frustration, depression. All useless.
Okay. Nap before the thing.
She got offended.
I once told a person that certain things may not go their way. My news - again, well-meaning - provoked a tantrum. And weak machinations that annoyed me so much, I chose to not give a fuck about the fucker.
I have learned that people do shoot messengers, and I sure as hell will no longer be that bearer of bad news.
So the good news is, the world will end. Regardless of what we do, the world will die. If we stop struggling so much, maybe we would have some time to enjoy the bondage.
Some people believe that merely the force of feeling bad will change things. It doesn't. Feeling bad has never and will never do anything.
Anger, guilt, sadness, frustration, depression. All useless.
Okay. Nap before the thing.
I Don't Give a Flying Fuck
I got home from work. But I still got shit I need to do.
The past few months, I wallowed in the helplessness of it all, thinking it was Buddhist shit. But no, the Awareness means we take control of ourselves and our destiny, our life and even our breath, by standing in the rain, holding your dick out and massaging it lovingly as you wail to the sky.
"Respect my dick!"
It's simple. Nothing - absolutely nothing in this world has meaning. We put meaning into things, therefore the definition of the world is ours. We define it.
And you know what it all means? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just people p0laying games.
So fuck it, I got something I need to finish tonight, and I'm finishing it. I'll get some sleep first, cause I'm fucking tired, but seriously? I am the true embodiment of not giving a fuck.
The past few months, I wallowed in the helplessness of it all, thinking it was Buddhist shit. But no, the Awareness means we take control of ourselves and our destiny, our life and even our breath, by standing in the rain, holding your dick out and massaging it lovingly as you wail to the sky.
"Respect my dick!"
It's simple. Nothing - absolutely nothing in this world has meaning. We put meaning into things, therefore the definition of the world is ours. We define it.
And you know what it all means? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just people p0laying games.
So fuck it, I got something I need to finish tonight, and I'm finishing it. I'll get some sleep first, cause I'm fucking tired, but seriously? I am the true embodiment of not giving a fuck.
Tales from the Drunk Side: Fuck You
I am a bit lugubrious at the moment, having spent the whole night in front of amber liquids and some darker ones. But I can still write. I can write in my sleep.
I don't know why everything is run by idiots and stupid people. I don't. I really don't. But I'm not going to complain or tell my victim story.
No, man.
And this just after coming back from talking to people who know shit. Older people. I have spent a lot of my life trying to figure out old people because if you do, then you would have the wisdom of the ages. Hahahaha.
I have seen and gone through a lot of shit. Shit you wouldn't understand, in your puny brains. And I have enough brain capacity to know what kind of shit is going to go down. It comes so natural to me that it is instinctive.
All these inferior humans talking and worrying about the little shit, the little dramas, I know what's what.
A huge part of it is my understanding of people. I hate people, and because of that, I have studied them for a long time. Their tell-tale verbal and non-verbal signs, their psychological bullshit, even how they think.
First, you have to figure out what their motivations are. What drives them. For most people, it is the ego. The need to feel superior due to their insecurities and their fear.
I sense a lot of insecurities that shape our world. Our world, our existence, is shaped primarily by fear. That's stupid, but that's how it is. I am disgusted, but that's the way it is.
Everybody lies. Out of fear. I am the only person dumb enough to be honest. I can't and won't tell a lie. I'll escape telling you the whole truth if I believe that if doing so means I have to deal with more bullshit - which I hate - but I have never lied to anyone.
You know why? Because I know all fears are bullshit. What is there to fear, really? I have never met anyone smarter than me. I have never encountered skills I can't figure out or replicate in a few weeks. I am humble because it puts people at ease. It is for your benefit. And also mine, because I don't want to do your bullshit.
I am the smartest person I know, and with that, comes great tragedy. No one would understand what I'm talking about, or that I have gone through the simulations in my head many times over as you go just a few steps in the whole thinking process.
Do you know how agonising it is to wait for people to discover and figure out what you have a long time ago?
This is my ego - the biggest in the world - talking, but I am always light years ahead and I have to wait because the world is too slow.
"How is it working out for you, being clever?" said Tyler Durden from Fight Club. See? I should NOT have had to mention that Tyler Durden was from Fight Club, but for the benefit of philistines and idiots, I have to insert disclaimers all the time.
I meet people who love cliches. Tropes. Does any of you understand how annoying it is to see and hear what people are going to say just a few minutes in advance? Or even a few seconds?
I always feel like I have lived this life many times over and that I have had all conversations at least twice before, therefore there is no point in me saying or doing anything because I already know the outcome.
It is this immense boredom that I hate.
People think they are so clever, with their silly little constructs and schemes, when it is as transparent and insignificant - ultimately stupid - as one devised by five-year-olds.
So this is why, a few years back, I decided to stop being right and just find a better way to be happy. Fuck all this shit, man.
Being happy, to me, (and putting 'to me' is like saying 'in my opinion' because if it is your opinion, it is never wrong and you can never be sued) means to be free from all the lies and stupidity and idiocy and dumbness. Actually, it is to be free from everything. Which is why I am typing this naked.
I believe that being happy is the only quest worth pursuing. Everything else is bullshit.
Nothing and no one makes you happy. You make yourself happy by detaching yourself from your self. When all the definitions and labels are gone, you are left only with the essence of your being - your soul. It is this soul thing that, if you feel it, means you are one with the universe.
The few times I am able to detach myself from any and all labels, I am truly happy. Happy is a state when you realise there is nothing you want. It is the absence of desire.
And you know what? I want nothing. I used that at first, years ago, to ensure that no one can control me. Then I realised that that was also a want, a desire.
Oh God, I puked. In the toilet.
I am the greatest gift that God/Science/Eywa has granted the omniverse. Which is another label, I guess. But it's true.
Sleep. Now.
I don't know why everything is run by idiots and stupid people. I don't. I really don't. But I'm not going to complain or tell my victim story.
No, man.
And this just after coming back from talking to people who know shit. Older people. I have spent a lot of my life trying to figure out old people because if you do, then you would have the wisdom of the ages. Hahahaha.
I have seen and gone through a lot of shit. Shit you wouldn't understand, in your puny brains. And I have enough brain capacity to know what kind of shit is going to go down. It comes so natural to me that it is instinctive.
All these inferior humans talking and worrying about the little shit, the little dramas, I know what's what.
A huge part of it is my understanding of people. I hate people, and because of that, I have studied them for a long time. Their tell-tale verbal and non-verbal signs, their psychological bullshit, even how they think.
First, you have to figure out what their motivations are. What drives them. For most people, it is the ego. The need to feel superior due to their insecurities and their fear.
I sense a lot of insecurities that shape our world. Our world, our existence, is shaped primarily by fear. That's stupid, but that's how it is. I am disgusted, but that's the way it is.
Everybody lies. Out of fear. I am the only person dumb enough to be honest. I can't and won't tell a lie. I'll escape telling you the whole truth if I believe that if doing so means I have to deal with more bullshit - which I hate - but I have never lied to anyone.
You know why? Because I know all fears are bullshit. What is there to fear, really? I have never met anyone smarter than me. I have never encountered skills I can't figure out or replicate in a few weeks. I am humble because it puts people at ease. It is for your benefit. And also mine, because I don't want to do your bullshit.
I am the smartest person I know, and with that, comes great tragedy. No one would understand what I'm talking about, or that I have gone through the simulations in my head many times over as you go just a few steps in the whole thinking process.
Do you know how agonising it is to wait for people to discover and figure out what you have a long time ago?
This is my ego - the biggest in the world - talking, but I am always light years ahead and I have to wait because the world is too slow.
"How is it working out for you, being clever?" said Tyler Durden from Fight Club. See? I should NOT have had to mention that Tyler Durden was from Fight Club, but for the benefit of philistines and idiots, I have to insert disclaimers all the time.
I meet people who love cliches. Tropes. Does any of you understand how annoying it is to see and hear what people are going to say just a few minutes in advance? Or even a few seconds?
I always feel like I have lived this life many times over and that I have had all conversations at least twice before, therefore there is no point in me saying or doing anything because I already know the outcome.
It is this immense boredom that I hate.
People think they are so clever, with their silly little constructs and schemes, when it is as transparent and insignificant - ultimately stupid - as one devised by five-year-olds.
So this is why, a few years back, I decided to stop being right and just find a better way to be happy. Fuck all this shit, man.
Being happy, to me, (and putting 'to me' is like saying 'in my opinion' because if it is your opinion, it is never wrong and you can never be sued) means to be free from all the lies and stupidity and idiocy and dumbness. Actually, it is to be free from everything. Which is why I am typing this naked.
I believe that being happy is the only quest worth pursuing. Everything else is bullshit.
Nothing and no one makes you happy. You make yourself happy by detaching yourself from your self. When all the definitions and labels are gone, you are left only with the essence of your being - your soul. It is this soul thing that, if you feel it, means you are one with the universe.
The few times I am able to detach myself from any and all labels, I am truly happy. Happy is a state when you realise there is nothing you want. It is the absence of desire.
And you know what? I want nothing. I used that at first, years ago, to ensure that no one can control me. Then I realised that that was also a want, a desire.
Oh God, I puked. In the toilet.
I am the greatest gift that God/Science/Eywa has granted the omniverse. Which is another label, I guess. But it's true.
Sleep. Now.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Give Me Money
The world is really just made of paper. Imaginary lines, scribbles on pictures are all that determine our right to be where, as well as our time and everything else.
You wanna know why the media is so powerful? Because the media can remix reality, reshape the world you live in. It influences what is thought, what is talked about and eventually what gets onto paper - your pay, your worth, your freedom.
The power lies not with the media, but between those who are at either ends of it. Media is simply a collection of mediums for communication. And at the end of the day, it is this communication, this information flow, that holds all authority, all power.
It is this communication that defines communities and societies. They can take away everything else, but as long as they do not control what we communicate and how we do it, we are, in this last inch, free.
Give it up, and we are slaves forever.
I don't believe in resisting anything, except for attempts to grab my crotch or my man-boobs by undesirable people. I believe that anything we fight simply gets bigger. Every time I forget this, it gets slammed in my face.
Eckhart Tolle wrote some true shit, but he never taught us how to fight. And he's right. Fighting simply feeds the adversary in our own hero story, starring ourselves. Fighting feeds the ego.
Resistance IS futile.
And here's the secret. You do not fight. You do not resist. You do not struggle, it will only make the bonds tighter. You sit still, and you say no. Without emotion, without ego, without a loaded thought. Just say no. A high quality, flat-toned no. When the moment comes for action, you move with the universe, and the universe moves with you.
Ka-POW!
Okay, time to masturbate.
You wanna know why the media is so powerful? Because the media can remix reality, reshape the world you live in. It influences what is thought, what is talked about and eventually what gets onto paper - your pay, your worth, your freedom.
The power lies not with the media, but between those who are at either ends of it. Media is simply a collection of mediums for communication. And at the end of the day, it is this communication, this information flow, that holds all authority, all power.
It is this communication that defines communities and societies. They can take away everything else, but as long as they do not control what we communicate and how we do it, we are, in this last inch, free.
Give it up, and we are slaves forever.
I don't believe in resisting anything, except for attempts to grab my crotch or my man-boobs by undesirable people. I believe that anything we fight simply gets bigger. Every time I forget this, it gets slammed in my face.
Eckhart Tolle wrote some true shit, but he never taught us how to fight. And he's right. Fighting simply feeds the adversary in our own hero story, starring ourselves. Fighting feeds the ego.
Resistance IS futile.
And here's the secret. You do not fight. You do not resist. You do not struggle, it will only make the bonds tighter. You sit still, and you say no. Without emotion, without ego, without a loaded thought. Just say no. A high quality, flat-toned no. When the moment comes for action, you move with the universe, and the universe moves with you.
Ka-POW!
Okay, time to masturbate.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Vote Amir Hafizi for 2012
Okay, that's it. I'm running for the Malaysian Presidential office against Zaid Ibrahim.
Here are my issues:
1. I am for the Peaceful Assembly Bill.
2. I am for the restoration of the ISA. And volunteer to be the first inaugural prisoner of its reinstatement.
3. I am against CPB2011. Unless I am on the board. In which case, show me the money!
4. I am for the legalisation of prostitution and the formation of a Prostitution Board which I will chair.
5. I am for Ambiga S to be part of any party, parade or whatever as Grand Marshall, to ensure good turnout.
6. I am for the creation of a third gender classification on Malaysian ICs. If Thailand has kathoeys, we will have pondans as a selectable gender. And 'pondans' can marry anyone.
7. Mohamad Sabu will have his own TV show. His catch-phrase will be 'ka-kaaa! woohoohoo!'
8. Zaid Ibrahim will be made Secretary for life, thus rendering him a non-president for life.
9. Anwar will be allowed to change details on his IC.
10. Armpits will no longer be an offensive bit of flesh warranting letters of warning from the KDN.
And here's my campaign slogan:
Spare Me Some Change?
Here are my issues:
1. I am for the Peaceful Assembly Bill.
2. I am for the restoration of the ISA. And volunteer to be the first inaugural prisoner of its reinstatement.
3. I am against CPB2011. Unless I am on the board. In which case, show me the money!
4. I am for the legalisation of prostitution and the formation of a Prostitution Board which I will chair.
5. I am for Ambiga S to be part of any party, parade or whatever as Grand Marshall, to ensure good turnout.
6. I am for the creation of a third gender classification on Malaysian ICs. If Thailand has kathoeys, we will have pondans as a selectable gender. And 'pondans' can marry anyone.
7. Mohamad Sabu will have his own TV show. His catch-phrase will be 'ka-kaaa! woohoohoo!'
8. Zaid Ibrahim will be made Secretary for life, thus rendering him a non-president for life.
9. Anwar will be allowed to change details on his IC.
10. Armpits will no longer be an offensive bit of flesh warranting letters of warning from the KDN.
And here's my campaign slogan:
Spare Me Some Change?
CPB2011: MOSTI's Response
This is a statement from MOSTI on the CPB2011:
Ahah! This is the MOSTI response to the uproar against CPB2011 (now BCPM). They are stating what some people discovered earlier yesterday. That the Bill will not seek to regulate the ICT industry.
That means no registration of anyone for anything except for the CNII.
Honestly, I am torn about this issue. On one hand, we have the benefits of having such a board. On the other, I do not trust any organisation or body that is not formed by the grassroots.
UMNO was created by the grassroots. Granted, they were Johor's elite, but grassroots all the same. A regulating ministry, setting up a body and populating it with whomever they choose is... suspect. To me.
It's like if my bosses set up a union for me. And elected themselves as de facto Jimmy Hoffa.
Secondly, there is the matter of the vaguely defined CNII. It is determined, it is now revealed, by The Chief Government Security Office (CGSO).
Copypasta: Chief Government Security Office or CGSO is a unit under the Prime Minister's Department of the Malaysian federal government. CGSO is responsible to provide 'security protection' on all government assets such as federal buildings and so on. CGSO also provides 'security clearance' for the candidates who wish to join the civil service to ensure if he or she is not a member of any extremist groups.
Here's their website:
http://www.cgso.gov.my/~cgso/portal/
Now, CNII is as defined by CGSO. Fine. Will the definitions change over time? I dunno.
I know that a bunch of people got really pissed off about this and I was extremely concerned as they are some of the more prominent members of the ICT industry. Others were depressed and thought their jobs are lost. A few have planned for emigration.
So here's a few suggestions to MOSTI concerning the BCPM:
1. Define, or get CGSO to define clearly, what current projects are deemed CNII. Also a guideline for what will be deemed as CNII in the future. Then, put this in the bill.
2. Ensure that no one outside of Gov-linked projects will be required accreditation. Ever.
3. Just a thought, but maybe the ICT people would be better suited to be on the Board, with one or two Government people on it as well. Let them govern themselves. And open doors to work with the Government, instead of against it. If that is the plan, then good.
I hope there is a good outcome over this. The news that MOSTI has stated no one will be carted off to jail for installing Windows is good enough for today. Let's make tomorrow less dramatic as well, on all sides?
PRESS STATEMENT
The Establishment of the Board of Computing Professionals Malaysia (BCPM)
Recently, there was a misconception about the proposed BCPM Act currently being drafted by the Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation (MOSTI). The claim is that the new Act will regulate computing practitioners and force them to register with a new Board called the Board of Computing Professional and that those who are not registered with this new board would not be allowed to practise programming, software engineering or apply for government tenders regardless of their years of experience or other qualifications.
MOSTI would like to assure all concerned parties that the establishment of the proposed BCPM is a body that will give recognition to the information, technology and communication (ICT) practitioners in the country as professionals in their respective computing domain. BCPM does not aim to regulate the computing profession in the nation but only applies to those that are identified as Critical National Information Infrastructure (CNII) entities with the intent to safeguard the interest of the nation in view of the current dynamic and challenging global environments. CNII is defined as those assets, systems and functions that are vital to the nation that their incapacity or destruction would have a devastating impact on National economic strength or National image or National defence and security or Government capability to function or Public health and safety. The CNII entities will be as identified by the The Chief Government Security Office (CGSO).
As for the need to be registered as Computing Professionals with BCPM, it is not mandatory. Registration with the BCPM does not apply only to graduates from the computing domain but will also take into consideration those from other disciplines with adequate computing experiences as well as those with professional qualifications in their respective computing domain.
Why do we need this Act? The need of this Act is to achieve the following objectives:
Enhance the value of the profession as it will require registered members to possess minimum levels of qualification/experience;
Raise professional standards by developing and maintaining a code of conduct for computing professionals;
Review qualifications offered by other bodies in order to serve as a guide and reference when gauging which certifications are valid and relevant;
Provide some level of assurance of the quality of computing professionals to employers who hire those who are registered by BCPM;
Enhance the supply of ICT manpower in the country and help the nation achieve the goals of the New Economic Model in becoming a productive high-income nation; and
Serve as a central repository of all computing professionals and practitioners in the country.
The vision of BCPM is to ensure that all computing services provided by the Malaysian Computing Professionals are globally recognised and with full regards to the public interest in mind. BCPM’s mission is to elevate the standing, visibility and recognition of Computing Professionals to ensure that computing services provided by the Computing Professionals in the country are in compliance with appropriate legislation and policies.
Within the context of this draft BCPM Bill, “Computing” has been defined as a goal-oriented activity to plan, architect, design, create, develop, implement, use and manage information technology or information technology systems.
In coming up with the draft of the BCPM Bill, MOSTI has initiated an effort to ensure the views of all key stakeholders are taken into consideration. With this intent, MOSTI has engaged various parties from both the private and public sectors such as the Ministry of Information, Communications and Culture, Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission (MCMC), Public Service Department of Malaysia, Malaysian Administration Modernisation and Management Planning Unit (MAMPU), National Security Council, CGSO, National ICT Deans Council (MADICT), National Professors Council, Association of the Computer and Multimedia Industry Malaysia (PIKOM), Multimedia Development Corporation (MDeC), CyberSecurity Malaysia, MIMOS Berhad and Malaysian National Computer Confederation (MNCC) to deliberate and confer on all pertaining issues on the subject matter of computing professionals in the country.
In order to solicit further inputs to improve the BCPM Bill, MOSTI will be having an open day on 13 December 2011 (Tuesday) from 9.30am to 5.00pm at the following venue:
Dewan Perhimpunan
Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation
Level 1, Block C4, Complex C,
Federal Government Administrative Centre,
Putrajaya
The intent of the open day is to inform the public of the proposed establishment of the BCPM and to provide a platform for all interested parties to view the draft BCPM Bill and give the opportunity for members of the public to present constructive feedbacks, opinions and thoughts on the draft BCPM Bill. All feedbacks, opinions and thoughts will be considered by MOSTI in ensuring the draft Bill address the concerns and issues of all parties.
Ahah! This is the MOSTI response to the uproar against CPB2011 (now BCPM). They are stating what some people discovered earlier yesterday. That the Bill will not seek to regulate the ICT industry.
That means no registration of anyone for anything except for the CNII.
Honestly, I am torn about this issue. On one hand, we have the benefits of having such a board. On the other, I do not trust any organisation or body that is not formed by the grassroots.
UMNO was created by the grassroots. Granted, they were Johor's elite, but grassroots all the same. A regulating ministry, setting up a body and populating it with whomever they choose is... suspect. To me.
It's like if my bosses set up a union for me. And elected themselves as de facto Jimmy Hoffa.
Secondly, there is the matter of the vaguely defined CNII. It is determined, it is now revealed, by The Chief Government Security Office (CGSO).
Copypasta: Chief Government Security Office or CGSO is a unit under the Prime Minister's Department of the Malaysian federal government. CGSO is responsible to provide 'security protection' on all government assets such as federal buildings and so on. CGSO also provides 'security clearance' for the candidates who wish to join the civil service to ensure if he or she is not a member of any extremist groups.
Here's their website:
http://www.cgso.gov.my/~cgso/portal/
Now, CNII is as defined by CGSO. Fine. Will the definitions change over time? I dunno.
I know that a bunch of people got really pissed off about this and I was extremely concerned as they are some of the more prominent members of the ICT industry. Others were depressed and thought their jobs are lost. A few have planned for emigration.
So here's a few suggestions to MOSTI concerning the BCPM:
1. Define, or get CGSO to define clearly, what current projects are deemed CNII. Also a guideline for what will be deemed as CNII in the future. Then, put this in the bill.
2. Ensure that no one outside of Gov-linked projects will be required accreditation. Ever.
3. Just a thought, but maybe the ICT people would be better suited to be on the Board, with one or two Government people on it as well. Let them govern themselves. And open doors to work with the Government, instead of against it. If that is the plan, then good.
I hope there is a good outcome over this. The news that MOSTI has stated no one will be carted off to jail for installing Windows is good enough for today. Let's make tomorrow less dramatic as well, on all sides?
Inside Amir Hafizi
I think I'm supposed to prepare something as part of some training material for new writers.
Well, best advice is still: Read. Write. Finish what you write.
If you want to copy style, there's only one way I know - read. And get into the mind of the author. Only when you see what they see, understand what they understand, can you write in that style.
So to help people out, this is what goes on in my mind, every day. I'll give you the first 30 minutes from waking up to reaching the office.
Wake up. Check Twitter. Nothing. Check email. 40 emails already. It's 8am.
Should I pee or smoke first? Which one is further away? The cigs are in my 'home office', around 10 tiles away from this bed. The bathroom is 8 tiles away. Pee first, because holding pee in causes kidney stones. And it's nearer.
After peeing, smoke. Sit down. Scan Gizmodo, Google News, Yahoo News. Scan feeds.
Go and take a dump. Shower.
Choose shirt. Must distribute colour. Wear red less. Red intimidates. Boxers. Pale-blue jeans for coloured shirts. Blue jeans for white shirts.
Tag. Bag. Shoes.
Walk out of apartment. Go down stairs. Give two sticks of cigs to guards. Walk to office.
Mentally go through everything in mental list.
See NSTP guards. Guys I've known for years. Scar on left hand. Knife? Motorcycle accident? Walk past. Smell of un-deodorised armpits. Must remember not to inhale next time.
Door to office. Glass. Double doors. See the gap at the bottom. Locked? No. See the gap between doors. Locked? No. Enter.
Anyone having breakfast? Any chance of getting food? No. Walk past meeting room. Say good mornings. Walk to my desk.
Walk to people who come earlier. Establish what time I came.
Log in. Sit down. Log in again because mis-typed password out of habit. Check emails again. Check Facebook. Check Twitter. mental list one more time. Boss around? If present, go to boss. If not, go to breakfast.
At mamak. Scan. Try to match people's faces. See the connections. Patterns. Some girls only have a set of five ensembles. Some, a bit more. Today, wearing a newer piece of clothing? Yes? No?
Colour choice. Mostly white/light colour - probably no period today.
Night make-up, at 9am. Why?
Guys with shirts tucked in. Where do they work? Guys, shirt tucked out. Face seem oily. Must be journalists from night shift. Other table. Hair slicked back. Too much oil/gel/wax. Keys. Alfa Romeo keychain. On table. Insecure?
Zone out. Fart.
Zone in. Twitter.
Wait for second fart. Then pay.
Time to go back to the office.
Well, best advice is still: Read. Write. Finish what you write.
If you want to copy style, there's only one way I know - read. And get into the mind of the author. Only when you see what they see, understand what they understand, can you write in that style.
So to help people out, this is what goes on in my mind, every day. I'll give you the first 30 minutes from waking up to reaching the office.
Wake up. Check Twitter. Nothing. Check email. 40 emails already. It's 8am.
Should I pee or smoke first? Which one is further away? The cigs are in my 'home office', around 10 tiles away from this bed. The bathroom is 8 tiles away. Pee first, because holding pee in causes kidney stones. And it's nearer.
After peeing, smoke. Sit down. Scan Gizmodo, Google News, Yahoo News. Scan feeds.
Go and take a dump. Shower.
Choose shirt. Must distribute colour. Wear red less. Red intimidates. Boxers. Pale-blue jeans for coloured shirts. Blue jeans for white shirts.
Tag. Bag. Shoes.
Walk out of apartment. Go down stairs. Give two sticks of cigs to guards. Walk to office.
Mentally go through everything in mental list.
See NSTP guards. Guys I've known for years. Scar on left hand. Knife? Motorcycle accident? Walk past. Smell of un-deodorised armpits. Must remember not to inhale next time.
Door to office. Glass. Double doors. See the gap at the bottom. Locked? No. See the gap between doors. Locked? No. Enter.
Anyone having breakfast? Any chance of getting food? No. Walk past meeting room. Say good mornings. Walk to my desk.
Walk to people who come earlier. Establish what time I came.
Log in. Sit down. Log in again because mis-typed password out of habit. Check emails again. Check Facebook. Check Twitter. mental list one more time. Boss around? If present, go to boss. If not, go to breakfast.
At mamak. Scan. Try to match people's faces. See the connections. Patterns. Some girls only have a set of five ensembles. Some, a bit more. Today, wearing a newer piece of clothing? Yes? No?
Colour choice. Mostly white/light colour - probably no period today.
Night make-up, at 9am. Why?
Guys with shirts tucked in. Where do they work? Guys, shirt tucked out. Face seem oily. Must be journalists from night shift. Other table. Hair slicked back. Too much oil/gel/wax. Keys. Alfa Romeo keychain. On table. Insecure?
Zone out. Fart.
Zone in. Twitter.
Wait for second fart. Then pay.
Time to go back to the office.
Lucky for Me
I met some white friends recently and for some reason, I sense some unease and disillusionment on their part concerning being in this country.
I just had fun saying this line: "Easy for you, lah. You're white."
I get that all the time. "Easy for you, lah. You're Malay." From my friends. Usually close ones.
I look back at my life, and I try very hard to figure out, what has been easy?
I come from the swamp. I educated myself because I distrust the Malaysian Education System. Love the teachers, but distrust the system.
Lucky for me.
I was in the top 400 12-year-olds so they sent me to a boarding school. For the elite, right? Privileged, right? My friends and I had to endure shit you encounter in '70s and '80s college, in that school. And more. I was lucky to come out alive and intact.
Lucky for me.
I went to UM. Big fucking deal, UM. Computer science, bitch. The most important thing I learned from UM is that you can survive on roti canai for five years and that as soon as you figure out the system, you must destroy it.
Lucky for me.
And then, I started working. Wow. All these fat Government contracts. Politicians shoving my ass with cash. In my dreams.
I had to endure things you could never imagine. I worked like none of you have ever worked before. Bar none. BAR NONE.
People often tell me, I eat like I haven't seen food in a year. I relish every bite of food I get because I know how hard I worked for it.
Lucky for me.
Fuck you. I mean, fuck you.
I am Malay. So? What's the big fucking deal? If I want to climb this fucking coconut tree and tweet while drinking coconut juice on top, why the fuck should you care? If I want to worship a space God that can teleport and shoot laser beams from its ass, why should anybody give a shit?
The war in this country, is not a race war. It is a fight between the rich and the poor. The big question is how long will the poor allow themselves to be fucked up the ass and felt up by grubby little greed fuckers before they literally start killing people.
And yet, yes, I am lucky. I am a fucking genius. I may do some dumb things, but I am the greatest.
And no one is luckier than me. Except for white people.
I just had fun saying this line: "Easy for you, lah. You're white."
I get that all the time. "Easy for you, lah. You're Malay." From my friends. Usually close ones.
I look back at my life, and I try very hard to figure out, what has been easy?
I come from the swamp. I educated myself because I distrust the Malaysian Education System. Love the teachers, but distrust the system.
Lucky for me.
I was in the top 400 12-year-olds so they sent me to a boarding school. For the elite, right? Privileged, right? My friends and I had to endure shit you encounter in '70s and '80s college, in that school. And more. I was lucky to come out alive and intact.
Lucky for me.
I went to UM. Big fucking deal, UM. Computer science, bitch. The most important thing I learned from UM is that you can survive on roti canai for five years and that as soon as you figure out the system, you must destroy it.
Lucky for me.
And then, I started working. Wow. All these fat Government contracts. Politicians shoving my ass with cash. In my dreams.
I had to endure things you could never imagine. I worked like none of you have ever worked before. Bar none. BAR NONE.
People often tell me, I eat like I haven't seen food in a year. I relish every bite of food I get because I know how hard I worked for it.
Lucky for me.
Fuck you. I mean, fuck you.
I am Malay. So? What's the big fucking deal? If I want to climb this fucking coconut tree and tweet while drinking coconut juice on top, why the fuck should you care? If I want to worship a space God that can teleport and shoot laser beams from its ass, why should anybody give a shit?
The war in this country, is not a race war. It is a fight between the rich and the poor. The big question is how long will the poor allow themselves to be fucked up the ass and felt up by grubby little greed fuckers before they literally start killing people.
And yet, yes, I am lucky. I am a fucking genius. I may do some dumb things, but I am the greatest.
And no one is luckier than me. Except for white people.
Friday, December 9, 2011
CPB 2011: Mammaries of Things to Cum
I am happy to hear that AT THIS STAGE, the Computer Professionals Bill 2011 (CPB2011) MAY not include everyone - just programmers involved with Critical National Information Infrastructure(CNII)projects. This remains to be seen, until such time when the bill is described fully and in detail.
The danger of the Computer Professionals Bill 2011, in my opinion, is the fact that all those restrictions to programmers can be extended to anyone.
With the definition of CNII being a debated topic - some definitions put it encompassing the entire universe of IT fields - should one day CNII is defined as just that, 'everyone', it is a hanging sword which can come down at any moment.
I do not prescribe paranoia to anyone, but I am uneasy with such a bill hovering over anything. If it passes, it will mean that should things get too hot one day, the Government can choose not to amend the bill, but redefine CNII and include just about anything and everything.
I am not saying they will do it, because who knows who will be in power tomorrow or next year. I am just saying they CAN, and giving a loaded gun to someone watching my Jagger-like moves with only their non-visible promise of not pulling the trigger is hardly a good thing.
Right now, the bill is made to be as vague as it can be. As people hop from one foot to the other to decipher its meaning, the vagueness of the bill makes it what some have termed a 'blank cheque'.
I must say that we are not dealing with idiots here, but a system that has kept everyone in check for over 50 years. These are not simple politicians who look like buffoons, but extremely smart and brazen people.
While idiots annoy me, smart people make me worried.
Oh well. Time to masturbate.
The danger of the Computer Professionals Bill 2011, in my opinion, is the fact that all those restrictions to programmers can be extended to anyone.
With the definition of CNII being a debated topic - some definitions put it encompassing the entire universe of IT fields - should one day CNII is defined as just that, 'everyone', it is a hanging sword which can come down at any moment.
I do not prescribe paranoia to anyone, but I am uneasy with such a bill hovering over anything. If it passes, it will mean that should things get too hot one day, the Government can choose not to amend the bill, but redefine CNII and include just about anything and everything.
I am not saying they will do it, because who knows who will be in power tomorrow or next year. I am just saying they CAN, and giving a loaded gun to someone watching my Jagger-like moves with only their non-visible promise of not pulling the trigger is hardly a good thing.
Right now, the bill is made to be as vague as it can be. As people hop from one foot to the other to decipher its meaning, the vagueness of the bill makes it what some have termed a 'blank cheque'.
I must say that we are not dealing with idiots here, but a system that has kept everyone in check for over 50 years. These are not simple politicians who look like buffoons, but extremely smart and brazen people.
While idiots annoy me, smart people make me worried.
Oh well. Time to masturbate.
A Twist in the Tale
I was surfing (with a keyboard) when I encountered this article.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Written by Lim Yung Hui, it points towards this part of the new CPB2011 bill:
Application2.
(1)This Act applies throughout Malaysia.
(2) This Act applies to the Critical National Information Infrastructure(CNII).
(3)Every Registered Computing Practitioner,Registered Computing Professional and Registered Computing Services Provider shall be subject to this Act
Read the full second draft here.
A few questions have surfaced. Lim asserts that the act only applies to CNII:
Then again, there is that sentence above CNII - (1)This Act applies throughout Malaysia. So, is it all CNII projects throughout Malaysia, or simply all throughout Malaysia?
Which is it? I shall wait for some response or new developments on the matter.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Written by Lim Yung Hui, it points towards this part of the new CPB2011 bill:
Application2.
(1)This Act applies throughout Malaysia.
(2) This Act applies to the Critical National Information Infrastructure(CNII).
(3)Every Registered Computing Practitioner,Registered Computing Professional and Registered Computing Services Provider shall be subject to this Act
Read the full second draft here.
A few questions have surfaced. Lim asserts that the act only applies to CNII:
So, with my minimal knowledge of legal / legislation matters, I would say this Act DOES NOT cover ALL Malaysian tech people (contrary to many assertions, including mine). Unless you’re developing mission-critical systems to support the Malaysian economy, defense, public health and safety, this Act is probably of no relevance to you. - Lim
Then again, there is that sentence above CNII - (1)This Act applies throughout Malaysia. So, is it all CNII projects throughout Malaysia, or simply all throughout Malaysia?
Which is it? I shall wait for some response or new developments on the matter.
And Then They Came for the Technopriests
A friend posted this as apparently, the Governmen is allegedly considering this act. And the technopriests are shouting bloody murder.
A few years ago, the paranoid Pak Lah Government tried to slap bloggers with a Mutant Registration Act.
They wanted to register us all and brand us with numbers and licenses similar to the Printing Presses and Publications Act (and the Jewish registration in WWII Germany) that would have severely curtailed our freedom of expression, speech and to write things like this x-rated poem in BM:
Sorong konek, tarik konek
Bijik kelentit dalam perahu
Suruh kongkek, saya kongkek
Puki mak kau memang berbulu
You know what I did when they tried to come for us? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They will pry my backlit keyboard(s) from my cold, dead fingers. But before that drama, there would have been years, maybe decades of me taking my shit underground and attacking whatever form of governance that is erected. Just for fucks.
Now, the Government has realised that they cannot control alternative media or social media, so this act they are introducing I believe is aimed at controlling the technology that makes it an even-playing field. If they can't tell you to stop using the swing, they will take away the foundation of that swing and try to destroy it.
This bill, if passed, will PROBABLY not affect regular technopriests, aside from minor inconveniences of infringing their rights. However, it will serve as a means to control those whom the Government does not like.
For example, the technopriests at Malaysiakini, The Malaysian Insider, The Mole, hell, even Lim Kit Siang's blog may not be given accreditation and thus their sites will be deemed illegal.
It could also affect me.
For example, if I wanted to start a site about how Datuk Seri Rais Yatim is a douchebag (which he is clearly not)
PICTURED: NOT Rais
or how Datuk Hishamuddin Hussein looks like an 'ikan baung' (he does NOT look like an 'ikan baung' or any variety of catfish),
CAPTION: This is not Hishamuddin, and neither is it an 'ikan baung'
CAPTION: The Real McCoy
the Government, through this bill, if they so choose, can use it to deem the activities of my site's programmer as illegal and therefore the site as illegal. And Google, who worships money, will probably succumb to Government pressure and block it, even if I host it overseas.
Apparently, they have never relented from trying to slap on the Mutant Registration Act on us, just trying it in different ways.
This is not a new idea. Several years ago, as I discarded my dreams of being a programmer to become a writer, several people wanted to band together and form an IT board and I was offered to join them. The intention, aside from obviously making money, was good. It was to protect and validate the IT profession as how engineers, lawyers and doctors have their own board thingies.
However, none of us ever envisioned something like that to be used as a means of control.
I will post updates on this issue as soon as I find any. I currently do not know when the bill is going to be tabled or if it has been tabled already.
All I can say is:
A few years ago, the paranoid Pak Lah Government tried to slap bloggers with a Mutant Registration Act.
They wanted to register us all and brand us with numbers and licenses similar to the Printing Presses and Publications Act (and the Jewish registration in WWII Germany) that would have severely curtailed our freedom of expression, speech and to write things like this x-rated poem in BM:
Sorong konek, tarik konek
Bijik kelentit dalam perahu
Suruh kongkek, saya kongkek
Puki mak kau memang berbulu
You know what I did when they tried to come for us? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They will pry my backlit keyboard(s) from my cold, dead fingers. But before that drama, there would have been years, maybe decades of me taking my shit underground and attacking whatever form of governance that is erected. Just for fucks.
Now, the Government has realised that they cannot control alternative media or social media, so this act they are introducing I believe is aimed at controlling the technology that makes it an even-playing field. If they can't tell you to stop using the swing, they will take away the foundation of that swing and try to destroy it.
This bill, if passed, will PROBABLY not affect regular technopriests, aside from minor inconveniences of infringing their rights. However, it will serve as a means to control those whom the Government does not like.
For example, the technopriests at Malaysiakini, The Malaysian Insider, The Mole, hell, even Lim Kit Siang's blog may not be given accreditation and thus their sites will be deemed illegal.
It could also affect me.
For example, if I wanted to start a site about how Datuk Seri Rais Yatim is a douchebag (which he is clearly not)
PICTURED: NOT Rais
or how Datuk Hishamuddin Hussein looks like an 'ikan baung' (he does NOT look like an 'ikan baung' or any variety of catfish),
CAPTION: This is not Hishamuddin, and neither is it an 'ikan baung'
CAPTION: The Real McCoy
the Government, through this bill, if they so choose, can use it to deem the activities of my site's programmer as illegal and therefore the site as illegal. And Google, who worships money, will probably succumb to Government pressure and block it, even if I host it overseas.
Apparently, they have never relented from trying to slap on the Mutant Registration Act on us, just trying it in different ways.
This is not a new idea. Several years ago, as I discarded my dreams of being a programmer to become a writer, several people wanted to band together and form an IT board and I was offered to join them. The intention, aside from obviously making money, was good. It was to protect and validate the IT profession as how engineers, lawyers and doctors have their own board thingies.
However, none of us ever envisioned something like that to be used as a means of control.
I will post updates on this issue as soon as I find any. I currently do not know when the bill is going to be tabled or if it has been tabled already.
All I can say is:
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Masuk Bakul Angkat Lebih-Lebih
Sambal belacan aku, punyalah pedas, lepas makan DAN basuh tangan, kalau aku tampar Nicolas Cage, terus jadi Ghost Rider.
CAPTION: Nicolas Cage control macho lepas kena backhand aku
Aku terjaga tadi pasal rasa nak minum susu coklat. Patut dah tidur dah. Okaylah, aku tidur dulu.
CAPTION: Nicolas Cage control macho lepas kena backhand aku
Aku terjaga tadi pasal rasa nak minum susu coklat. Patut dah tidur dah. Okaylah, aku tidur dulu.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Genesis
Coming back from a hectic day at work, I put on the Neon Genesis Evangelion DVDs and watched the Rebuild of Evangelion - director Hideaki Anno and Studio Gainax's re-telling of the story of Eva - and realised very well that Evangelion was my first introduction to Judaism.
NGE had angels named in the Abrahamic tradition, trying to bond with either Adam or Lilith - an exclusively Jewish construct of the first woman. When they combine to initiate the Human Instrumentality Project, it is in the form of the Tree of Sefirot - the Jewish Tree of Life.
All this religious symbolism and signifying, while featuring this:
PICTURED: Judaism
Yes, that is from an extended nude scene from a recent movie of the original cartoon series. So you have religious dogma being used as a basis for a giant robot cartoon, teenage sexual tension and naked cartoons - an explosive combination that sadly, for some, resulted in them purchasing this:
Nothing says "Freak!" louder than naked dolls on your desk.
Hideaki Anno also loaded the whole anime with psychoses. NGE was a psychological tour de force which fascinated me because I was studying psychology to show how smart I am. I was very insecure with my intelligence back then because everyone thought - thinks - I am stupid. Or gay. Or a Hindu. Quite unrelated, but these misconceptions are all I deal with every day.
I have since outgrown this childish insecurity by realising that everyone is stupid - or gay. Or Hindu - and accepting that fact with my Buddha powers.
Personally, I don't like the Evangelion robots. The very concept of very rare, special robots built for exactly one, 'chosen' pilot irks me. I prefer the Robotech mecha, which are mass-produced.
If everything is mass-produced and the same, then the only difference would be the man behind the machine.
This is why I like PCs. Completely customisable to your own specifications and how you want to use it. There is no predestination determined by one will, one way. Just free will.
I do not like Apple simply because their products make it so hard to exercise free will. There is no freedom in using their stuff. There is only one way - the Apple way. It is the vision of only one man. Or one team. And I find that just as disconcerting as listening to the wisdom of the crowd. I hate both absolute states.
What the fuck am I writing? Oh. Neon Genesis Evangelion. Nekkid cartoons. Judaism. Cool.
Gonna go sleep now. I've pretended enough that I am oh-so-smart and know what I'm talking about. The self-deprecating humour signifying that I am better than what I have written. Oooh. Depth.
Fuck it. Sleep.
NGE had angels named in the Abrahamic tradition, trying to bond with either Adam or Lilith - an exclusively Jewish construct of the first woman. When they combine to initiate the Human Instrumentality Project, it is in the form of the Tree of Sefirot - the Jewish Tree of Life.
All this religious symbolism and signifying, while featuring this:
PICTURED: Judaism
Yes, that is from an extended nude scene from a recent movie of the original cartoon series. So you have religious dogma being used as a basis for a giant robot cartoon, teenage sexual tension and naked cartoons - an explosive combination that sadly, for some, resulted in them purchasing this:
Nothing says "Freak!" louder than naked dolls on your desk.
Hideaki Anno also loaded the whole anime with psychoses. NGE was a psychological tour de force which fascinated me because I was studying psychology to show how smart I am. I was very insecure with my intelligence back then because everyone thought - thinks - I am stupid. Or gay. Or a Hindu. Quite unrelated, but these misconceptions are all I deal with every day.
I have since outgrown this childish insecurity by realising that everyone is stupid - or gay. Or Hindu - and accepting that fact with my Buddha powers.
Personally, I don't like the Evangelion robots. The very concept of very rare, special robots built for exactly one, 'chosen' pilot irks me. I prefer the Robotech mecha, which are mass-produced.
If everything is mass-produced and the same, then the only difference would be the man behind the machine.
This is why I like PCs. Completely customisable to your own specifications and how you want to use it. There is no predestination determined by one will, one way. Just free will.
I do not like Apple simply because their products make it so hard to exercise free will. There is no freedom in using their stuff. There is only one way - the Apple way. It is the vision of only one man. Or one team. And I find that just as disconcerting as listening to the wisdom of the crowd. I hate both absolute states.
What the fuck am I writing? Oh. Neon Genesis Evangelion. Nekkid cartoons. Judaism. Cool.
Gonna go sleep now. I've pretended enough that I am oh-so-smart and know what I'm talking about. The self-deprecating humour signifying that I am better than what I have written. Oooh. Depth.
Fuck it. Sleep.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Insecurities Commission: Politics of 'The Other'
In today's Insecurities Commission, we shall talk about group dynamics and the ego.
Many years ago, I was part of a team that was trying to raise RM20,000 for an orphanage. Our deadline was roughly a month.
It was both pain and pleasure as, a couple of weeks in, the more insecure members of the group started to point fingers at each other. A few people quit.
Then, the organisers or facilitators or the demon-priest Cenobites decided to step in.
Cenobites: Explorers of pain and pleasure
They introduced us to another, similar group who would 'help' us. This triggered our collective ego, as most may have felt that we were considered not good enough to do the job, which was going rather well, actually, despite the drama.
I remarked to another member of the team at the time, that this was similar to a psychological experiment mentioned in Peter Gray's Psychology text book, the chapter on the Eagles vs the Rattlers, which I have on my bookshelf (and I am mentioning this to show how smart I am).
In the experiment, a group of kids at a summer camp were separated into two - the Eagles and the Rattlers. Both groups soon found identities and labels to latch on to as well as labels for the opposing team. The Eagles considered themselves superior and better coordinated than the 'disorganised' Rattlers. The Rattlers believe they are cool and condemn the Eagles as arrogant sticks in the mud.
The guy gave me a blank look, and as my own individual issue at the time was my unwillingness to step forward and kick up a fuss for no reason, I decided to keep my thoughts to myself.
Long story short, the team managed to pull off the 20K fundraising while the other team was busy doing their own project and that was that.
Eight years later today, I can't help but wonder if we had actually gone into the whole thing with a more positive and open attitude, could we have done better?
Imagine if we simply included the other team. We would have more bodies, more minds and ultimately more resources. The intention, the goal was to raise funds for a fucking orphanage, not demonstrate how big our penises or clitorises were. Are. Whatever.
I am constantly reminded of this project whenever I work with other teams or even other people. Hate, insecurities and fear bring with it the seeds of destruction and as the Lord of Destruction, I know all about it.
I was later thrust into production, where it is a hugely collaborative medium. I can't very well worry about what the props people are doing, or whether the costumes are correct or even if the actors are given proper motivation. Worrying about other people's responsibilities and work only meant I would lose sleep worrying about nothing. The others will do what they do, regardless.
The collective ego and group paranoia was demonstrated in Lost. The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 literally encountered 'The Others' and both groups behaved like in classic psychology. Textbook psychology. The Eagles vs the Rattlers.
Ah, who cares? I'm a berserker, what do I know? BERSERKER BARRAGE!
Many years ago, I was part of a team that was trying to raise RM20,000 for an orphanage. Our deadline was roughly a month.
It was both pain and pleasure as, a couple of weeks in, the more insecure members of the group started to point fingers at each other. A few people quit.
Then, the organisers or facilitators or the demon-priest Cenobites decided to step in.
Cenobites: Explorers of pain and pleasure
They introduced us to another, similar group who would 'help' us. This triggered our collective ego, as most may have felt that we were considered not good enough to do the job, which was going rather well, actually, despite the drama.
I remarked to another member of the team at the time, that this was similar to a psychological experiment mentioned in Peter Gray's Psychology text book, the chapter on the Eagles vs the Rattlers, which I have on my bookshelf (and I am mentioning this to show how smart I am).
In the experiment, a group of kids at a summer camp were separated into two - the Eagles and the Rattlers. Both groups soon found identities and labels to latch on to as well as labels for the opposing team. The Eagles considered themselves superior and better coordinated than the 'disorganised' Rattlers. The Rattlers believe they are cool and condemn the Eagles as arrogant sticks in the mud.
The guy gave me a blank look, and as my own individual issue at the time was my unwillingness to step forward and kick up a fuss for no reason, I decided to keep my thoughts to myself.
Long story short, the team managed to pull off the 20K fundraising while the other team was busy doing their own project and that was that.
Eight years later today, I can't help but wonder if we had actually gone into the whole thing with a more positive and open attitude, could we have done better?
Imagine if we simply included the other team. We would have more bodies, more minds and ultimately more resources. The intention, the goal was to raise funds for a fucking orphanage, not demonstrate how big our penises or clitorises were. Are. Whatever.
I am constantly reminded of this project whenever I work with other teams or even other people. Hate, insecurities and fear bring with it the seeds of destruction and as the Lord of Destruction, I know all about it.
I was later thrust into production, where it is a hugely collaborative medium. I can't very well worry about what the props people are doing, or whether the costumes are correct or even if the actors are given proper motivation. Worrying about other people's responsibilities and work only meant I would lose sleep worrying about nothing. The others will do what they do, regardless.
The collective ego and group paranoia was demonstrated in Lost. The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 literally encountered 'The Others' and both groups behaved like in classic psychology. Textbook psychology. The Eagles vs the Rattlers.
Ah, who cares? I'm a berserker, what do I know? BERSERKER BARRAGE!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
A Special Christmas Offer to Malaysian Politicians
Caption: PICTURE IS UNRELATED
Hey, Malaysian politicians!
Are you tired of being the butt of everyone's joke? Is your ego lashing out because it has grown small due to the stupid shit you say? Are you worried that you will lose in the next General Elections?
Fear not! Uncle Amir is here with a Special Christmas Offer!
For merely RM20 million, I will deliver 3 million voters in your favour. How? Why, through the MAGIC OF THE INTERNET!
I will hardcode a null backspace to my Java environment and then send a pre-fetch command to ALL computers in Malaysia, including pocket calculators and PS3s, even a TI-82.
Using the MIDI capabilities of the gadgets, I will then send a sequence of brain-altering hypnotic sub-dermal suggestions to the frontal lobe of these targets, making them either insecure about their faith (for YOU, PIS-M), believe one day they can actually get the mythical, mystical, total bullshit 'Malay rights' (UMNOPutras! Special Offer!), racists but pretend to be non-racists (DAP), or ALL OF THE ABOVE (PKR).
(MIC, MCA, Gerakan, whatever party Ku Li is in - no hope for you. Take the money and run to Australia. Parti Kita - who?)
This system will work on any human, dog, pig or monkey no matter how primitive or modern they are. They will all succumb to being irrational, emotional people who chant slogans and fist-pump because they have nothing better to do than waste other people's time.
Using this 'hacking technology', I will also 'hack Facebook' AND 'hack Google', by getting their source codes in a notepad and fiddling with their header and footer classes. Then I will funnel US$ 400 billion - almost the entire revenue for new media in the States last year or the year before - into your Cayman Islands/Israel/Swiss bank accounts.
If you order now, I will also make anyone have sex with you by also stimulating their medula oblongata with the relative minor of F Sharp.
Order now!
Here's my Maybank account number: 114487051142. Name: Amir Hafizi Mohamed Sood. Password: Password
BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Desire Series: Ambition
Desire is poison. And it is so simply because we treat it that way.
Ambition is just another word meaning to desire something that isn't is. To resist the present. Only suffering can come from that.
When I first started my career, I had lots of desires. All egotistical. I thought they gave me the drive to strive further and reach higher, until I realise that ambition was simply holding me back.
It was only after I cast off my ambitions that I was free to achieve everything I ever conceived and more.
Some people try to use others' ambitions as a means of control. The carrot - a much more dangerous and sinister weapon than the stick.
What if carrots have no effect? What if you have neither desire nor ambition? Try it. You shed a lot of bullshit and you can finally do stuff you want to do.
I have seen many good people fall to desire, to ambition. Purely egotistical, it impeded their being so badly that they become husks, shadows. Goals are lost simply because desire must be fed with even more desire.
Ultimately, desire and ambition are neither bad nor good. They are simply elements and we who wield it are responsible. We are always responsible, for we lead these things, use them and then eventually blame them for everything.
I believe that we are all responsible for any state we are in because we chose to be in that state.
A lot of people fail to face themselves or their deeds, and their own responsibilities, because it is much easier to complain and to blame.
Accept this yoke, and be free.
Ambition is just another word meaning to desire something that isn't is. To resist the present. Only suffering can come from that.
When I first started my career, I had lots of desires. All egotistical. I thought they gave me the drive to strive further and reach higher, until I realise that ambition was simply holding me back.
It was only after I cast off my ambitions that I was free to achieve everything I ever conceived and more.
Some people try to use others' ambitions as a means of control. The carrot - a much more dangerous and sinister weapon than the stick.
What if carrots have no effect? What if you have neither desire nor ambition? Try it. You shed a lot of bullshit and you can finally do stuff you want to do.
I have seen many good people fall to desire, to ambition. Purely egotistical, it impeded their being so badly that they become husks, shadows. Goals are lost simply because desire must be fed with even more desire.
Ultimately, desire and ambition are neither bad nor good. They are simply elements and we who wield it are responsible. We are always responsible, for we lead these things, use them and then eventually blame them for everything.
I believe that we are all responsible for any state we are in because we chose to be in that state.
A lot of people fail to face themselves or their deeds, and their own responsibilities, because it is much easier to complain and to blame.
Accept this yoke, and be free.
The Creative Process
Coming back from a drink with one of my few friends who are equally exposed to radioactive science fiction growing up, I was going to write about the commedia dell'arte and its influence on modern day comic books, perhaps segueing into creating a comic book version of the commedia dell'arte, but I thought, no.
So I decided to write on how credit cards are evil, evil things as well as my own story getting out of debt. But, no.
So maybe I'd write about how politicians are stupid and how stupid works for you stupid people, but, then again, no.
So then I thought maybe I'd write about how epic my dump was and my high-fibre diet is creating really enjoyable dumps that are epic and should be turned into legendary hossanas, but, then, no.
And so on.
So I decided to write on how credit cards are evil, evil things as well as my own story getting out of debt. But, no.
So maybe I'd write about how politicians are stupid and how stupid works for you stupid people, but, then again, no.
So then I thought maybe I'd write about how epic my dump was and my high-fibre diet is creating really enjoyable dumps that are epic and should be turned into legendary hossanas, but, then, no.
And so on.
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