Saturday, November 28, 2009

Twits and Twats and Twilight Bites

I have been observing the obsession with the Twilight Series by its fans and haters, as well the numerous reports of escalating violence between the two camps.

Where up till a few days ago, these reports of violence were just stories on online forums (especially Twilight Sucks) it finally made the news. One of the more interesting ones was about a 45-year-old man biting the neck of a 17-year-old girl outside of a movie theatre showing New Moon, as reported by a Michigan NBC affiliate.

Read about that and other stupid loser Twilight things here.

It's all crazy, man. When a Twilight fan noticed that I was not jumping up and down about the movie after having seen it, they were all like, "Twilight is not for MEN!"

And when the latest movie New Moon got a measly 29% rating at RottenTomatoes(RT), they were all like, "We don't care about what 65-year-old men think of the movie!" without realising that RT takes an aggregate of reviews from 65-year-olds as well as 15-year-olds.

And the Antis were like, "I don't get how people can get so obsessed over a book?"

Like, hello?

The Bible is a book. The Koran is a book. So are the Torah, the Talmud, and Watchmen and V for Vendetta.

I neither hate nor like The Twilight Series. I do, however, maintain a fascination with the fans' obsession. Sorry, ROB-session. It is in parallel with Trek fandom, and Jedi worship. As well as Scientology.

When the V for Vendetta movie came out, I was fucking pissed off myself. It was like the Wachowski Sisters tried to do a movie based on the Koran, and getting everything WRONG! I was wringing my hands and pulling my hair in the movie theatre.

There is no difference between Twi-Hards (Twi-Very-Hard) and comics geeks and fanboys and Trekkies. Maybe the geeks have a few decades head start, and the (mainly) girl-oriented Twi-Hards don't have the kind of experience with obsession that geeks have.

For example, they do not understand that the only thing they need to do to get the Antis to shut the fuck up is to ignore them. The Antis do crave attention, and we have been fighting Antis for decades now. Ignorant fools, they are, these haters.

Nothing in pop culture - not Twilight, not Glee, not Sandman, not Rage - defines your identity. It is not part of you. Treating it as such only gives people a target.

I believe that if this continues, there will be a Twilight-related death in the near future. Families will be broken, and fights will ensue. Why? Because people are needy, and they need to be right.

As for me? I wonder how long the fad will stay fresh, before some other shiny celebrity takes everyone's attention away. Hopefully, soon. Before someone dies needlessly.