Monday, October 19, 2009

What Men Want

I have written extensively on what women want. I find it a subject of interest because I believe that if we were to discover what women want, I can have them sucking my dick all day, every day.

However, I have yet to write about what men want. Oh man, this will be a short article.

Chris Rock said, "Men want only three things, and three things only. Food, sex, silence. Feed him, fuck him, shut the fuck up. He's happy."

Sometimes, it is that simple.

And yet, there I was, at a party, falling asleep as some married men talk about, amongst other things, how to live off your wife.

And yet in another car ride, I find myself in conversation about how men can control women.

I honestly never knew that as a man, I can do so many things and get away with it. It is extremely fortunate that I was born with a dick and not a vagina.

Apparently, while women constantly say they want everything, a man usually has it.

I have met a lot of women who want to be dominated by men. They want to be told what to do, what to wear, how to look, how to act and so many other things.

I considered this lifestyle, this way of living, and found that it has its benefits. Being told what to do means that you do not have to decide, thus taking all responsibility off your shoulders.

As a man, I do not have to ask for power. It is given to me as if it came with my dick. An impressive feat for a slab of cylindrical muscle roughly 20 inches in length and 10 inches in diametre, I must say.

Whenever a man does something wrong, we are told to 'be a man about it'. However, some of the time, 'being a man about it' involves blaming the women.

From religion, to Sept 11, it was always the women's fault.

This is a result of a situation when in order to function, a man has to have full and complete deniability. And women are deniability, as a lot of them live in denial.

I find the wedding industry to be preposterous, and yet it shall survive while I will one day die and be forgotten - as I want to be.

Disney is cashing in on their 'Princess' business which offers women - grown ones - fantasy weddings, complete with pumpkin coaches and dresses and Celine DIon CDs and profestations of eternal devotion, which is all bollocks because there is no eternity. Nothing lasts forever, and at the rate of 1 in 3 marriages crumbling to dust in a mere handful of years, I hardly doubt there is eternity in it.

That, however, has not stopped Disney making billions of US dollars from marketing their Princess wedding shit.

Women do get something from marriages - denial. What do men get? Free pussy? However, at an average of RM50,000 a pop, the pussy you get through marriages are hardly free. SOme are still paying for it. Pussy payments. In installments. And I speak with no judgment or emotion.

In some marriages, it is really for convenience. For social standing. "How people see me."

I have met, in my short life, perhaps only ...errrmmm...two? Maybe three marriages that do not have any ulterior motives in them. And my parents' union is not one of them.

Oh well.

It is interesting to note that when talking about what men want, it is usually thrown into the context of what the woman can do, to get their man. Well, as you can see, some men also are interested in what women want to get them to suck their dicks.

Since I now have friends who are married, I can no longer condemn marriages. Not because I believe in it. Simply because if they are not married, I won't be able to go to their homes and eat and drink for six hours, for free.

Therefore, go forth and get married. And invite me to more open houses. Feed me. And if you're so inclined, suck my dick. And shut the fuck up.