Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Sixty Billion Dollar Man

And so a few days ago, I was wheeled into the emergency ward at Pantai Medical for acid reflux.

Suddenly, a voice-over narration began to play.

Narrator: Amir Hafizi. An astronaut. A man barely alive...

Me: Hey! Hey! What's that voice? And I'm not barely alive! I do have a life!

Narator: Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.

Me: What the fuck?

Narrator: We have the capability to make the world's first Reflux Man. Amir Hafizi will be that man. Better than he was before. Stronger. Faster. Sexier.

Me: Sexier? If only that were possible.

They did strange things to my stomach. When I woke up, I found out that I have the world's first BIONIC STOMACH.

At night, my bionic stomach would go out and save the world. All on its own.