I'll be the first to admit that I don't know jack shit about politics. Especially Malaysian politics.
I don't know much, but I know entertainment. And Malaysian politics has lost its entertainment value.
And yet, as the world's leading political analyst, I must say that I sense the farce is reaching a plateau.
Like a Paris Hilton upskirt photo, Malaysian politics no longer pack that much of a punch, when it comes to drawing attention from crowds.
As it always is, after a time.
Look at the the freedom afforded by the Internet. When Malaysians first took to it for their political needs, some time towards the end of the last century, some people couldn't pry themselves away from it for more than a few hours. There are always something to be done, something to read and other shit to do. Babychedet pictures to super-impose, people to say fuck to.
And then, it was passe. It was boring. It was yesterday's news. Kertas belacan already.
I no longer swear as much, because when you do too much of that, or if too many people do it, it ceases to be cool, and becomes cliched.
Remember when 'unplugged' versions of classic songs, like Eagles' entire repertoire was the order of the day? And when rockers came out with full orchestral accompaniment?
It was there one day, and the next day, it's out.
Fads, man. Fads.
The same rules apply, perhaps in the layman view of politics.
It used to be exciting to try and kill Pak Lah's tenure as a PM. Having arguably achieved that, or helped in its demise, online writers have not much else to do.
There is no big target to unify everyone. So some decided to fight with their peers. Ho-hum. Where have I seen this before?
The Internet itself is not a fad. The Internet has fads. And politics is fast-becoming a huge meme.
Consider what's on offer today.
RPK, after vowing to die in police custody, practically killed his own credibility by staying alive.
Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim might also pull an RPK and run away with his tail between his legs. July 1st is fast approaching and Anwar might kill his political career if he decides to tuck tail and run.
The smart thing to do would be to prop himself as a victim. get jailed for a few years, and let PR use his imprisonment as a rallying call for voters.
As a firebrand, he can't afford to allow sentiments to die down under an incoming avalanche of apathy. Firebrands, as a rule, can only strike when things are hot. If things simmer to a slow cook or even to tepid temperatures, his edge is gone.
There was a rumoured fight between Dr M and Najib. That would have been the final nail in the coffin of BN as a ruling party. Dr M's loyalists, the Degeneration M, will take his lead and mock Najib's administration to death.
But the fight never happened.
Even the racists are tired. Haven't heard anything overtly racist for the past few months, though it must be said I was busy with other shit.
PIS' muktamar was uneventful. The worst thing you could do to a politician is to tell them no one gives a fuck. And nothing much has been said about their AGM. WHo won, anyway? Husam? Nash? Sabu? Does anyone give a fuck?
Even the divas of politics - the drama queens - are silent. Where is KJ? Karpal Singh? Gobind? LGE? LKS? LKY? Is it merely the eye of the storm as the players catch their breaths for an ultimate onslaught? Or have they run out of ideas already?
BN politicians are not saying much, which is their smartest move yet. Going by history, BN politicians seem to be born with both feet rammed fown their throats. Most are not the most intelligent of speakers, and I suspect someone up there gave orders to shut the fuck up. There's also the threat of the six-month KPI challenge.
One wrong sentence, and the vultures will have a reason to call for their ousting.
And what of the Perak issue? What the fuck happened? Who won? If Nizar won, then where's the statewide elections?
Malaysian politics is now like day-old soda. It's boring, lifeless, got no gas, lost its pizzaaz.
Oh well. Good riddance to bad garbage. Fuck off and die.