Friday, March 1, 2013

February Rain

Been a fantastic few days. The medical test I was dreading came up quite well for me and requires just a minor surgery this Monday, the KL Noir: Red anthology was launched on Wednesday night, and there are other good news as well.

I am still reeling from such positive energy that no pettiness and stupidity actually bothered me. I looked at those things and see them for what they are - whether good or bad, smart or stupid, nothing lasts forever. To struggle so violently for such brief flashes in time - well, whatever.

The wheels of the world continue to turn. The cogs and gears I have set in motion since a few years ago are moving. Creaking, with no oil, but moving nonetheless. Some things, I make up on the fly, while others I have prepared for years and years. Waiting for the right moment, blablabla.

I have many stories. Many ideas and things. I need to sort all these things out. One by one. The big bang of creativity happened a long time ago. I now pick up the pieces and see what can be used.

You won't believe the kind of opportunities that can open up, even though I am, at my most optimistic, a very cautious man.

I would like to say I was born that way, but the truth is, I have failed so many times in my life that I am quite wary with any form of expectation. But that shouldn't hold me back. Never has.

Malaysian writers and creative people have tons of great ideas. One thing they lack is will. The drive to push things through to the end, no matter what the consequences may be. A lot of my contemporaries were worried about feedback, if people were to hate their stuff, their selves, their egos; if they won't be loved. Most of them are never heard or seen from again.

I'm sure they were killed or eaten by bears or something.

Well, I have been reading about the hard life of Thai bar girls - some of whom found real happy endings for themselves - and I think, I have lived a charmed life. If I die tomorrow, I suffer no regrets other than not going to Thailand one last time.