Sunday, November 11, 2012

Unified Under Stupidity

I have been cursing TM Unifi for a full two years now. Every week, the bloody thing has given me a new, unique problem. That's 104 unique problems.

I cursed and swore at them so much, I felt sorry for everyone working at TM. It's nothing personal, and I wasn't trying to be mean. The fibre optics network that TM has laid out, and the Government is paying RM11 billion for, is extremely unstable.

Maxis bought a lot of those trunk lines, as reported in the papers, and then they launched Maxis Home Fibre.

After getting sick of cursing Unifi every single day, I thought I'd give them a break and install Maxis Home Fibre instead. I know it's the same thing, but maybe, driven by money, Maxis MIGHT provide a better service? I dunno. I try out these things so I could tell people how crappy or how great they are.

I have not cancelled my Unifi account, just in case.

The techs came yesterday, and after a flurry of activity, I was online on the 10mbps line.

So I bid the techs adieu and went about doing my regular stuff. Six minutes later, ALL the problems I ever faced while using Unifi for the past two years started surfacing.

So I called Maxis and - AFTER TELLING ME TO RESET THE ROUTER WHICH REQUIRES A TECH PERSON TO RESOLVE - they told me it would take a week to send a tech person to my place. "Two working days," he said, which in real time means 2 months.

I kicked up a tantrum and started yelling rape, so they sent a tech to my house today. After he fiddled with it, I could have access to Maxis Home Fibre again. SO I bid him adieu, and 15 minutes after he left, the same problems surfaced again.

I tweeted to @MaxisListens and asked if I could just terminate my contract since Maxis is not providing me what they promised anyway, and it has only been 48 hours, with me being online for only 20 minutes during that whole time period.

They said no can do. Basically, they're telling me, "Hah! We got your money, bitch!"

Well, all I can say to them is this:

"I know who you are. I know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let me go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will do daily reports of how you and your product sucks. Every day, every hour, for the rest of my life, until the day I die." - Liam Neeson, Taken

The kind of damage that can be done is significant. Already, I have made up my mind to  find other mobile carriers after my contract with Maxis has ended. I am also prepared to document every single  thing wrong with Maxis Home Fibre and the Maxis 012 line, which I have used for 13 years, over three phone numbers.

This will go on every hour, every single day, for the rest of my natural life, until the day I die. Or until the day they see some sense and let me off the contract I never signed physically, but just agreed to verbally over the phone, without realising what kind of shitty product Maxis Home Fibre really is.

Well, they also don't know what kind of shitty customer I can be.

I think the best resolution is for me to go back to using Unifi, which is what I'm doing now. Thank God I haven't cancelled it. I know most of the problems already, after 2 years of dealing with hell. I should also get a Microsoft or Cisco networking certificate since I can now configure TM and Maxis Home Fibre - which is what you need if you want to get broadband in this country.

As a consumer, a citizen and registered voter, I believe The Malaysian Government has been conned of RM11 billion to set up an extremely unstable fibre optics network, which is now being sold by TM, Maxis and other whatever. And it is in my opinion that Maxis' and TM's respective contracts for 2 years is extremely draconian and victimises users.

I believe that in the race for profit and the short-term bottom-line, companies such as Maxis are losing the long-term perspective of their business model. I have been their loyal customer under various accounts for 13 years, since I got my first mobile phone. This incident is likely to get me to swear off any of their products for the rest of my life. I will also tell my friends and family members never to use any of their products because that is all I can do, short from reporting the sheer crappiness of Maxis Home Fibre to the consumer tribunal, which is something I am thinking about.

Of course, no one is forced to follow what I tell them. What do I look like, Maxis?

I would suggest, in my own opinion, that no one registers for any broadband service in Malaysia using the same shitty fibre optics network until such a time when they have ironed out all the problems and issues, which could take between 50-500 years.

In the meantime, I believe such countries as Thailand, Ghana, Zimbabwe and Sudan have way better broadband Internet connection because I keep losing to them in online games due to my shitty 'broadband' connection.

May you fuckers burn in hell.