Recently, a member of my team on one of my hobby projects who was supposed to deliver something simply ran away and never delivered on her promise.
She didn't answer any queries on any media platform I asked, and she is also incommunicado with every other person involved with the project.
I was pissed off for about half an hour. Really pissed off. I wanted to do all I can to ruin her life and her career. I plotted and planned and came up with really gruesome scenarios. I really am more suited for destruction.
But then I thought, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I blew a deadline, once. It was the only one time I ever fucked up a job so bad, I had to drop it.
As a result, I lost RM78,000 in opportunities, and my honour as well as integrity was tarnished. I went into depression. Again.
But I never ran away. Despite all my problems then, personal and professional, financial.. I was there all the way. Because running away does not and will not solve any problems - just makes it bigger, more bad-ass, until it eats at your soul.
I know that when faced with insurmountable odds, or a problem too big, the meek side of humans - including mine, if I have any - will wish for things to go away. For some giant hand to come down from the skies and make it all better. From experience: Not gonna happen.
I mean, I'm not an atheist, but I live like one. I don't make God my bitch and ask him to do shit for me. No religion - not even The Secret - tells anyone to sit on their ass and make excuses not to do anything all day, every day.
Even if you hate your job - you can always quit, but you need to give your employers plenty of notice, so that everything won't turn to shit. One person I know - another person - just upped and left another unrelated project, giving a one-day notice.
I find that highly irresponsible and disloyal.
This is also why I refuse to lie. I'm a simple person, perhaps a simpleton, and I just hate cleaning up messy stuff. I believe lying is messy, because it needs to be staged right and the pretense has to be kept up for years on end. It's extremely tiring. And annoying.
In this recent case, at least no money was involved, just that a broken promise leads to other broken promises and as usual, I have to clean up the shit afterwards. Well, no use lamenting over it. I know better now and I hope everyone involved walks away wiser from this bullshit.
Malaysia has an abundance of talent, but integrity and honour are only demonstrated by a few.