Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Final Frontier

Today, the BN cybermonkeys started wailing about PKR MP Nurul Izzah making a statement that allegedly sounded like she was standing up for freedom of religion.

She was reported as saying something about Muslims in this country should be allowed to change their religion, but she also said she was against apostasy.

Regardless of the default Romneying by Nurul Izzah, I was excited. Finally, aside from the economy, education and care for an ageing population, Nurul is bringing up a valid issue that warrants further discussion.

So I asked every Opposition cybermonkey I knew. "Is this true? Is she standing up for freedom of religion? For serious?"

NONE of them - not a single one, not even the rabbit-faced Nizar Jamaluddin who usually pops out like Bugs Bunny now and then, dared to say anything.

Not even the high and almighty Anwar Ibrahim responded.

I understand their silence. As one cockroach conveniently told me, "You know lah. If she says anything about it, she will be screwed by BN."

Yeah, so should just Romney her stand on the issue?

Well, news flash, bitch! Regardless of what you stand on any issue, the other side will screw you for it. I mean, they even pointed out Nurul was wearing a red bra. A RED bra. And? So? Who the fuck gives a shit? Take off the bra and I will give a shit. In the toilet.

I even heard rumours of a Nurul Izzah sextape, which I think is a dumb move by BN. Unless she is fucking someone who is not her husband, and that's when you can play the morality card, there is no strategic advantage of making her a sex symbol. A heterosexual sex symbol.


But back to religion.

I don't expect politicians to be anything more than gladhandling, pandering baboons, so I'm not really shocked or even the least surprised that instead of addressing the issue properly, Nurul, as with the rest of the simians, decided to try and wank the masses. She, along with ALL other politicians are trying to get people to like them. It's what politicians do. They serve no other function except waste our time and other resources.

Religion, along with Internet freedom, is something close to me. Oh, by the way, FUCK 114A.

I do not believe Islam is stupid, but I have seen many Malaysian Muslims who are. I point my fingers and my dick at the people, whom I believe have sabotaged their own faith. But that's just me.

I mean, they turned Islam into a magic mumbo-jumbo bullshit which is more in line with our original religion - pagan worship. How else can you explain the fixation with black magic and the tendency to use the Al Quran as a book of spells?

I was taught that Islam was a religion of science and enlightenment, of charity and goodwill, not magic and mystery. Fuck that shit.

Is it so hard for Nurul Izzah, or anyone, to say that they believe in religious freedom for all kinds?

I do. I believe everyone should be given a choice to follow any faith, including the dreaded Giant Teapot religion. If Muslims feel so bad about allowing that, then start making Islam look and feel more desirable.

During Muhammad's time, the unique selling point for Islam was the fact that it does not discriminate from master to slave. All are equal under God's judgement. That struck a chord. People followed him, they embraced the religion. Muhammad did not have to throw people into Pusat Pemulihan Akhlaks or harass people into joining his faith. He was not so insecure that a few unbelievers would shake his conviction.

Muhammad was a great general as well as marketeer. He didn't tell people what to do. He was so cool about everything that people asked him to tell them what to do.

Nowadays, I see people, and they try to bribe God. "Oh God, if I pray, will you give me RM2 million?" They try to make God their bitch. "That man fucked me up on Twitter. Now, God, go and fuck his life up. Fetch, God! Fetch! Sick! Sick on him!"

And they try to fool God by sneaking into heaven. "Oh, God. I fucked a bunch of kids. In the ass. But I never ate pork. C+ for me?" Or "I was a black-hearted, spiteful fuck who backstabbed people almost every day. But I went for Friday prayers. C- for meh?"

I find politicians no better than these assholes. Yes, politicians are assholes.

Nurul Izzah had the opportunity to make this a prime issue for the GE13. It may have cost PR the election, but it would have sparked a national debate and discussion on the matter. Sure, a few people would die, but at least we'll get some things moving.

And she is not the only person with the opportunity to say something. All politicians do. You all do. I said my peace. What's yours?

And yeah, FUCK 114A. Hey, Najib, if you lose this election, Anwar will use 114A to fuck everyone so far up the ass, you would be giving birth through your mouth, like Noorkumalasari in Misteri Rumah Tua. Ya dig?