Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Divas Before Divans

Too much dopamine, and I am bouncing up and down inside my head. This article should take the rest of my energy out of me and prepare me for bed.

I like hanging around young people, because regardless of the industry they're in, they are all so enthusiastic.

I met one guy who doesn't give a fuck about the state of the film industry - he shot a 40-minute feature using guerrilla bowfinger tactics. He got friends and family to help him out, almost got arrested by the police for filming a shooting scene using toy guns without a permit and he is a director of a feature at 20 years of age.

When I was 20, I was still trying to get people to draw comics for me.

I was convinced, way back in 2000, that my comics are the best in the world - if only someone wanted to draw them. I became one of those annoying writers who sought people out to undertake things I did not understand.

I see these people, sometime, approaching 40 and still don't understand what a collaborative medium is. They're still up on their high horse, thinking people should make way for them and their idiosyncrasies cause they fucking deserve it. Fucking elitist, entitled shit.

 I'll tell you how I got published, how I got to write some of the more interesting film and TV projects - to me, at least - in the past 10 years.

First, I wrote. A lot. Then I went and other writers, publishers, editors, filmmakers. A lot. I understood that no one was going to make way for me. Hell, Dr Dre came from Compton and even he had to yell, "straight  from Compton so get out tha way" or some shit.

By the time I met other people practising the craft, and in the industry, I was ready. Some people saw that and they asked me to write stuff. In those days, I never rejected any writing job people asked me to do. Not a single one. Cause I was grateful I wasn't hauling cement or manure back in Kuantan.

All those jobs nobody wanted to do cause it was too hard? I did it. A few times. All those people they said were too difficult to work with? I worked with them. Not all of them, but enough for me to know that it's the same everywhere.

If you want to get opportunities, you don't turn down shit. You can't afford to be a diva until you wake up one day with feather boas up your ass and glitter on your dick.

This is also something I don't understand. Some young people really respect those who can do a diva storm-off. You know what people my age call those who storm off like a diva? A fucking idiot.

If you're at the top of your game, you either can change any situation to suit your wants and needs, or you avoid bullshit like the plague; bullshit and negativity slides right off you. Sometimes you get caught, but if you're that damn good, nothing can touch you, ya dig?

Diva tantrums are for amateurish bullshit artists. Been there. Done that. Like an old meme being shared by Twilight fans.

I'll tell you what's important in life - peace. It's not BEING SEEN as great. It's just being great. Period.

Divas have a not-so-secret flaw. Their existence depends on other people. They live off the good grace of other people. Once that runs out, they're just old, wrinkly, sad people with too much makeup on.

I've met real divas, people who were or are recognised divas. They're human. Amazingly professional and secure. Surprisingly easy to work with if they believe you know what you're doing.

Those fucktards who believe that being a diva who commands respect simply happens by demanding respect are people whom I call fucktards. They're sad, evil, spiteful little creatures who are not worth anyone's time.

What the fuck was I writing? Oh, I'm about to brush my teeth and go to bed.