Aku sampai ke rumah semalam pukul 10 lebih. Malam. Masuk aje ke dalam apartment aku, terus seluar terlondeh, terhuyung-hayang ke PC, bukak PC, tengok monitor aku mampus, pastu pengsan atas katil.
Aku bangun pukul 7 pagi. Terus repair monitor. Monitor dah okay, tapi aku masih penat dan badan rasa sengal-sengal.
Empat hari tiga malam di Bandung-Jakarta. Aku pergi sebab kerja, bukan suka-suka. Tapi walau apapun, aku amat gembira sebab passport aku boleh pakai. PTPTN, selepas aku berunding dengan pihak diorang bulan tujuh tahun lepas, dah menarik balik sekatan untuk aku ke luar negara.
Aku tak perlu bayar semua pinjaman aku, cuma sebahagian, dan membuat Standing Instruction untuk membayar RM330 sebulan. Aku cadangkan sesiapa yang ada masalah dengan PTPTN boleh terus ke ibupejabat diorang di Wisma Chase Perdana.
Tak payah telefon, pasal orang yang jaga telefon tu serupa anjing menyalak. Aku tak jadi bayar PTPTN dulu pun, pasal menyampah dengan orang yang jaga telefon.
Aku: Hello, encik, saya nak bayar PTPTN.
Anjing: Kami tak mau terima! Kami nak bankrapkan awak! Kami nak sita semua harta benda awak!
AKu: Tapi, saya nak bayar.
Anjing: Ouk! Ouk-ouk! Ouk-ouk-ouk! Gong-gong-gong! Hiiii-hiiiiiiiiii!
Bila aku pergi ke Wisma Chase Perdana, yang ada di kaunter adalah manusia-manusia yang berperikemanusiaan dan boleh dibawa berbincang. Tak nampak seekor anjing pun.
Jadi, passport aku dah okay. Yay!
Di Bandung, aku pergi ke banyak tempat jugaklah. Toko Tiga, Rumah Mode, Pasar Baru. Secara ringkas, Pasar Baru adalah tempat terbaik untuk shopping beberapa benda. Juga tempat paling memenatkan dan membuatkan aku tak mahu ke mana-mana yang ramai orang, seperti Mekah.
Di Jakarta, Tanah Abang not bad. Aku akan tulis liputan perjalanan aku secara lengkap, tapi terlebih dulu, aku harus menulis artikel rasmi kerja aku.
Yang lain, aku akan tulis di sini.
Cuma satu saja aku nak ceritakan sekarang.
Masa di Tanah Abang, hari terakhir di sana, beberapa jam sebelum naik kapalterbang, aku lepak dengan pak guard Tanah Abang. Diorang minum air dari botol besar 4 gelen. Aku tanya, ni air apa?
Pak Guard: Ini air gunung blablabla. Minum air lain, jadi lembik. Yang ini, jadi kuat. Sudah dijampi.
Aku: Mintak segelas?
Lepas minum, aku tau itu hanya air paip dengan kuasa Hanuman. Sepanjang perjalanan balik, syaitan dalam diri aku bergelut dengan Hanuman dalam perut. Akibatnya, aku jadi penat.
Oklah. Aku nak sambung buat kerja.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The Watcher
In a few hours, I will be flying off to Jakarta. It is for work, and I will be lugging a camera around - a video camera - for most part of the trip.
It's amazing that I can I actually get my hands on a camera and handle it for a very distinct purpose.
The goal is to make one or two videos and upload them for a project. I always work backwards. The goal are finished videos, so I would need to shoot a few types of footage to be cut into scenes later. Each scene is at most several seconds long for a fast cut result.
It can also be done by doing a long shoot and then piecing the footage separately. I do not know what I'm going to get, or if I will get anything, but several shots are inside my head.
The video head who - along with another colleague - showed me how to work the camera, suggested establishing shots of Jakarta itself.
I think it will go well with splices of Jakarta people with character, before we even see the tourists in the group - and finally the celebrity. After that, it would be shots of them doing activities, then short soundbites, maybe taken from a master interview later.
If this was a longer programme, I can perhaps set up segments, but that requires more energy and planning.
Oh well. We'll see what happens. This is the first time I am handling a mini-DV camera since 2007.
It's amazing that I can I actually get my hands on a camera and handle it for a very distinct purpose.
The goal is to make one or two videos and upload them for a project. I always work backwards. The goal are finished videos, so I would need to shoot a few types of footage to be cut into scenes later. Each scene is at most several seconds long for a fast cut result.
It can also be done by doing a long shoot and then piecing the footage separately. I do not know what I'm going to get, or if I will get anything, but several shots are inside my head.
The video head who - along with another colleague - showed me how to work the camera, suggested establishing shots of Jakarta itself.
I think it will go well with splices of Jakarta people with character, before we even see the tourists in the group - and finally the celebrity. After that, it would be shots of them doing activities, then short soundbites, maybe taken from a master interview later.
If this was a longer programme, I can perhaps set up segments, but that requires more energy and planning.
Oh well. We'll see what happens. This is the first time I am handling a mini-DV camera since 2007.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Kesejukan Sepandang Layang
So far, my sojourn into writing in Bahasa Malaysia has been entertaining. You would not believe the kind of trouble I got into when I address a different audience.
I have been covering the Malaysian entertainment scene for years, but even though the primary language of that scene/industry is BM, I trained and was trained in English.
I have taken steps to explore more of the language, since I find that languages are always useful.
My BM novel is nowhere near completion, but I think it will be soon. I have several dictionaries now, which I purchased with the help of an ex-girlfriend who went to a book fair.
However, after spending months on BM, it is refreshing to go back to what I know best. This doesn't mean I will abandon BM anytime soon. In fact, I plan to continuously improve my understanding - dare I say mastery? - of the language.
I have been covering the Malaysian entertainment scene for years, but even though the primary language of that scene/industry is BM, I trained and was trained in English.
I have taken steps to explore more of the language, since I find that languages are always useful.
My BM novel is nowhere near completion, but I think it will be soon. I have several dictionaries now, which I purchased with the help of an ex-girlfriend who went to a book fair.
However, after spending months on BM, it is refreshing to go back to what I know best. This doesn't mean I will abandon BM anytime soon. In fact, I plan to continuously improve my understanding - dare I say mastery? - of the language.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Almanak Masakan Bumi dan Langit: Kitab Masakan Tempur
Ada kalanya, kita makan sebelum bertempur. Hidangan bertempur perlu menepati beberapa syarat:
1. Mesti tidak terlalu pedas, kelak hilang suara ketika bertempur.
2. Mesti tidak terlalu berminyak, kelak loya atau batuk semasa bertempur.
3. Mesti tidak membuatkan kita mengantuk semasa bertempur.
4. Mesti memberi tenaga dengan cepat, sebab pertempuran boleh berlaku bila-bila masa.
Oleh itu, masakan atau hidangan sebelum bertempur yang sesuai antaranya:
1. Ayam Goreng Kunyit Menunduk Naga
- Ayam yang dilumur kunyit dan sedikit garam sebelum digoreng. Pastikan minyak segar dipakai, sebab minyak yang dipanaskan kembali akan menyebabkan barah serta menjadikan ayam terlalu berminyak.
Suhu minyak mesti tinggi supaya senang menggoreng ayam. Kalau tak cukup tinggi, kelak ayam akan menyerap terlampau banyak minyak.
2. Roti Bakar Asura
- Roti bakar adalah pengganti nasi atau pulut yang boleh membuatkan pemakan mengantuk.
Sapuan pula mesti jem dan bukan mentega atau lepa susu. Gula dalam jem akan memastikan tenaga didapati dengan cepat.
3. Butterhead Lettuce Boddhisativa Pembuka Jalan
- Butterhead lettuce segar bugar dan menyegarkan ketika dikunyah. Memberikan kesan psikologi dan ideo-motor peringkat tinggi.
Jangan gunakan dressing melainkan cuka kayu balsam untuk mengelak rasa loya.
- Ditulis oleh Syaitan Pekerjaan.
1. Mesti tidak terlalu pedas, kelak hilang suara ketika bertempur.
2. Mesti tidak terlalu berminyak, kelak loya atau batuk semasa bertempur.
3. Mesti tidak membuatkan kita mengantuk semasa bertempur.
4. Mesti memberi tenaga dengan cepat, sebab pertempuran boleh berlaku bila-bila masa.
Oleh itu, masakan atau hidangan sebelum bertempur yang sesuai antaranya:
1. Ayam Goreng Kunyit Menunduk Naga
- Ayam yang dilumur kunyit dan sedikit garam sebelum digoreng. Pastikan minyak segar dipakai, sebab minyak yang dipanaskan kembali akan menyebabkan barah serta menjadikan ayam terlalu berminyak.
Suhu minyak mesti tinggi supaya senang menggoreng ayam. Kalau tak cukup tinggi, kelak ayam akan menyerap terlampau banyak minyak.
2. Roti Bakar Asura
- Roti bakar adalah pengganti nasi atau pulut yang boleh membuatkan pemakan mengantuk.
Sapuan pula mesti jem dan bukan mentega atau lepa susu. Gula dalam jem akan memastikan tenaga didapati dengan cepat.
3. Butterhead Lettuce Boddhisativa Pembuka Jalan
- Butterhead lettuce segar bugar dan menyegarkan ketika dikunyah. Memberikan kesan psikologi dan ideo-motor peringkat tinggi.
Jangan gunakan dressing melainkan cuka kayu balsam untuk mengelak rasa loya.
- Ditulis oleh Syaitan Pekerjaan.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Recess
I am neither proud nor ashamed to be Malaysian. I believe that while there are many things that can be improved, I find this country adequate.
I have pushed the envelop of my industry, and others' far enough to know that things can be done, are being done or will be done soon.
When I was younger, my dream was to go to the States. I wanted to get that Petronas scholarship, use whatever means necessary and available to me, and leave the country forever.
That moment came. I was 16. Out of 12 candidates in my round of group interviews, I had their attention. It was Petronas or Telekom. I think it was Telekom. So, in front of a board of Telekom interviewers, I was there, sensing that this could change the course of my life.
Merely sensing, because I had no information I could use. There was hardly any briefing - just that some people from a big company wanted to see a bunch of us. They sat there, looking over our academic records. I knew mine wasn't spotless. I excelled in the languages and maths, but my chemistry scores sucked. So were my test results for physics and additional maths.
Long story short, everyone spoke in BM. I knew that if I wanted to impress these people, I needed to bring out my English and American accent, which I have gleaned from watching years of TV.
But everyone else spoke BM. And so I did too.
Yes, I did not get the scholarship I wanted, didn't leave the country - in fact, I have never left South East Asia. But if I did, I do not think I would be here right now. And I don't think I would have preferred another life. Not really.
It was 2003 and the system I built for a year was chosen for an IT convention in Portugal. I went to my lecturer's room to tell her that I was not going.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
"I'm going to be a writer," I told her.
She shook her head, almost imperceptibly, and sent me on my way.
I worked as a cashier in a pharmacy for a few months, pissing off my boss because I spoke to Japanese customers in Japanese, and that I read books when there was nothing to be done.
I ate rice and fried eggs for six months, a downgrade from my halcyon days as a student when I ate roti canai.
Meanwhile, some of the smarter friends studied mechanical engineering in Germany or chemical engineering in the States. And fucking foreign chicks.
I was still here. I am still here.
I do not hate this country. I learned more about people and communication because the country is uniquely so. I have also worked with people from outside the region. White people, black people, and I have come to the conclusion that people are simply people. They are the same everywhere, with the same fuck-ups and fears.
People talk a great deal about systems. How America has the best system and values in the world. So much so, that when banks got the police to chase people out of their homes in the States, they are still the greatest country on earth.
Some people say Malaysians are stupid. I say Malaysians are stupid. But so are everyone in the world.
It is not the values or the systems that make a country. It is the people. Laws are just rules people decide to obey. Money is an honour system we choose to obey. Without our obedience, without following whatever system we ourselves put in place, there is no country. There are no countries. No borders. No rules. No order.
I subscribe to anarchy, which only means without leaders, not without order. I distrust any individual who wants to lead. Leading is an immense responsibility and no true leader wants that responsibility. Because it is always your fault.
I have pushed the envelop of my industry, and others' far enough to know that things can be done, are being done or will be done soon.
When I was younger, my dream was to go to the States. I wanted to get that Petronas scholarship, use whatever means necessary and available to me, and leave the country forever.
That moment came. I was 16. Out of 12 candidates in my round of group interviews, I had their attention. It was Petronas or Telekom. I think it was Telekom. So, in front of a board of Telekom interviewers, I was there, sensing that this could change the course of my life.
Merely sensing, because I had no information I could use. There was hardly any briefing - just that some people from a big company wanted to see a bunch of us. They sat there, looking over our academic records. I knew mine wasn't spotless. I excelled in the languages and maths, but my chemistry scores sucked. So were my test results for physics and additional maths.
Long story short, everyone spoke in BM. I knew that if I wanted to impress these people, I needed to bring out my English and American accent, which I have gleaned from watching years of TV.
But everyone else spoke BM. And so I did too.
Yes, I did not get the scholarship I wanted, didn't leave the country - in fact, I have never left South East Asia. But if I did, I do not think I would be here right now. And I don't think I would have preferred another life. Not really.
It was 2003 and the system I built for a year was chosen for an IT convention in Portugal. I went to my lecturer's room to tell her that I was not going.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
"I'm going to be a writer," I told her.
She shook her head, almost imperceptibly, and sent me on my way.
I worked as a cashier in a pharmacy for a few months, pissing off my boss because I spoke to Japanese customers in Japanese, and that I read books when there was nothing to be done.
I ate rice and fried eggs for six months, a downgrade from my halcyon days as a student when I ate roti canai.
Meanwhile, some of the smarter friends studied mechanical engineering in Germany or chemical engineering in the States. And fucking foreign chicks.
I was still here. I am still here.
I do not hate this country. I learned more about people and communication because the country is uniquely so. I have also worked with people from outside the region. White people, black people, and I have come to the conclusion that people are simply people. They are the same everywhere, with the same fuck-ups and fears.
People talk a great deal about systems. How America has the best system and values in the world. So much so, that when banks got the police to chase people out of their homes in the States, they are still the greatest country on earth.
Some people say Malaysians are stupid. I say Malaysians are stupid. But so are everyone in the world.
It is not the values or the systems that make a country. It is the people. Laws are just rules people decide to obey. Money is an honour system we choose to obey. Without our obedience, without following whatever system we ourselves put in place, there is no country. There are no countries. No borders. No rules. No order.
I subscribe to anarchy, which only means without leaders, not without order. I distrust any individual who wants to lead. Leading is an immense responsibility and no true leader wants that responsibility. Because it is always your fault.
Genderang Perang Menghentam Dada
Walaupun dikelilingi perabot baru, aku rasa kurang sihat. Badan rasa tidak sedap. Perut aku dari tadi asyik mengeluarkan kentut yang lebih daripada biasa.
Aku ingin menulis perihal Ketenangan dan Ketenteraman Abadi, juga Panduan Hikmat Asura, tetapi rasanya aku perlukan tidur dan rehat yang cukup agar esok aku tidak jatuh sakit.
Aku ingin menulis perihal Ketenangan dan Ketenteraman Abadi, juga Panduan Hikmat Asura, tetapi rasanya aku perlukan tidur dan rehat yang cukup agar esok aku tidak jatuh sakit.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Malaysian Psycho: Gandhi (the film)
I do not know Gandhi. Never met him.
And when I was small, I read about Mohandas Gandhi in a children's encyclopedia (we have several sets which my father ordered from Reader's Digest. I read them all).
The books catalogue the life of such luminaries as Clara Barton, St Francis of Asissi, George Washington Carver, Marie Curie, Samuel Clemens and John James Audobon. Gandhi was one of a few stories.
Then, one night, I saw the 1982 movie Gandhi on TV2. It was at 12 midnight, same slot as when I saw Goodbye Mr Chips (1969). It ran for too long, of course. 3 hours, and my father was pissed.
But I watched that movie, and I thought to myself, "Hm, that's a strategy."
Gandhi's very being meant that he does not take, but give. I see many businesses that are confined in their corners, without a means to grow outward because they believe in taking, not giving.
I believe that when you come from taking, others will clutch on to their purses even tighter. Give. Give, give, give. How much can they take anyway, before they start giving?
Of course, don't be foolish and give everything away, but come from a position of giving.
Often, what we resist or detest are exactly what we are. We project what is projected unto us. Or is it the other way around?
I have seen and heard people talk derisively of say, Jews, and they behave exactly like the negative attributes they are describing. Substitute Jews with any other label, and what have you?
Gandhi, he gave and gave until the British imperialists could take no more. And he liberated a country. Two, sadly.
The Malaysian Opposition would get more support and get more things done if they took that approach, but then again, the Malaysian Opposition is no Gandhi. No matter how hard they try to be.
And when I was small, I read about Mohandas Gandhi in a children's encyclopedia (we have several sets which my father ordered from Reader's Digest. I read them all).
The books catalogue the life of such luminaries as Clara Barton, St Francis of Asissi, George Washington Carver, Marie Curie, Samuel Clemens and John James Audobon. Gandhi was one of a few stories.
Then, one night, I saw the 1982 movie Gandhi on TV2. It was at 12 midnight, same slot as when I saw Goodbye Mr Chips (1969). It ran for too long, of course. 3 hours, and my father was pissed.
But I watched that movie, and I thought to myself, "Hm, that's a strategy."
Gandhi's very being meant that he does not take, but give. I see many businesses that are confined in their corners, without a means to grow outward because they believe in taking, not giving.
I believe that when you come from taking, others will clutch on to their purses even tighter. Give. Give, give, give. How much can they take anyway, before they start giving?
Of course, don't be foolish and give everything away, but come from a position of giving.
Often, what we resist or detest are exactly what we are. We project what is projected unto us. Or is it the other way around?
I have seen and heard people talk derisively of say, Jews, and they behave exactly like the negative attributes they are describing. Substitute Jews with any other label, and what have you?
Gandhi, he gave and gave until the British imperialists could take no more. And he liberated a country. Two, sadly.
The Malaysian Opposition would get more support and get more things done if they took that approach, but then again, the Malaysian Opposition is no Gandhi. No matter how hard they try to be.
Let's Go Let's Go Chopping! OoooOOO!
While other people brag and gloat about their purchase of the cheapest offering from any brand. I'm going to brag about buying cheap stuff.
My white shirts are all RM11 for THREE, with ONE Dockers shirt at RM200. Mostly I wear the RM3++ shirts.
Yesterday, I decided it's time for a change and bought an office chair, a corner computer table I've always wanted and a dining table with four chairs set. Here they are:
This is the Jokkmokk set from Ikea. It's the only set from Ikea I saw that comes with four chairs. It's antique-stained, which means its colour is normal wood.
This is the Malkolm swivel chair. My old chair, which Ikea no longer carries, is worn out and frayed. I was going to get it re-upholstered as the structure is still strong, but do not have the time to do so. Plus, at RM299, the Malkolm is just slightly more expensive than getting my old chair fixed.
Finally, we have this. This is the Vika Amon corner computer table top with five Vika Curry table legs.
I have always wanted a corner computer table and now I have it. Wheee! Muahahaha!
The closest thing to a corner table set is priced at RM500. This one costs me RM249, because I opted for cheapo table legs. Since I am only placing my flat screen monitor on the table with my keyboard and mouse, with possibly an ashtray, I do not need that much support.
I do not believe that paying more will certainly get better things. Case in point: Bangsar Seafood at OneBangsar is, in my opinion, overpriced and the food is lousy. I would much rather dine at roadside seafood stalls.
Doesn't mean there's a bargain everywhere either. Just buy what you need, or what you can use. And I can certainly use these things.
My white shirts are all RM11 for THREE, with ONE Dockers shirt at RM200. Mostly I wear the RM3++ shirts.
Yesterday, I decided it's time for a change and bought an office chair, a corner computer table I've always wanted and a dining table with four chairs set. Here they are:
This is the Jokkmokk set from Ikea. It's the only set from Ikea I saw that comes with four chairs. It's antique-stained, which means its colour is normal wood.
This is the Malkolm swivel chair. My old chair, which Ikea no longer carries, is worn out and frayed. I was going to get it re-upholstered as the structure is still strong, but do not have the time to do so. Plus, at RM299, the Malkolm is just slightly more expensive than getting my old chair fixed.
Finally, we have this. This is the Vika Amon corner computer table top with five Vika Curry table legs.
I have always wanted a corner computer table and now I have it. Wheee! Muahahaha!
The closest thing to a corner table set is priced at RM500. This one costs me RM249, because I opted for cheapo table legs. Since I am only placing my flat screen monitor on the table with my keyboard and mouse, with possibly an ashtray, I do not need that much support.
I do not believe that paying more will certainly get better things. Case in point: Bangsar Seafood at OneBangsar is, in my opinion, overpriced and the food is lousy. I would much rather dine at roadside seafood stalls.
Doesn't mean there's a bargain everywhere either. Just buy what you need, or what you can use. And I can certainly use these things.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
One Note
You know what they say about how everyone have stories. I also see that they put forth certain stories as well, in their daily lives.
A person's story - his entire existence could be, "If you know me, you will know that I am great. Please be impressed. PleasePleasePlease!"
Other people project this - "I'm better than everything and everyone and should be worshiped. PleasePleasePlease. Please believe me!"
Some people project whole genres. A woman could carry the 'spirit' genre of stories, stories of facing adversity, without even facing adversity. Always on the verge of tears for that moment in an inspirational movie where the protagonists fight and climb over a hill or something. Willy the Killer Whale jumping over some weird kid.
A few I have seen carry the victim story and project them everywhere like a projector leaking light. Crazy. And quite a few.
There is no problem having or projecting a story, but when you are too caught up with one tale, one message, you become a one-note human.
Unless trying to reinforce an idea for whatever purpose, it is best to not project stories or get too deep into your own story. Or project many different stories. Not a rule or law, but what I find effective.
Otherwise, we all will be caught up with some form of whatever without having the chance to do many things.
A person's story - his entire existence could be, "If you know me, you will know that I am great. Please be impressed. PleasePleasePlease!"
Other people project this - "I'm better than everything and everyone and should be worshiped. PleasePleasePlease. Please believe me!"
Some people project whole genres. A woman could carry the 'spirit' genre of stories, stories of facing adversity, without even facing adversity. Always on the verge of tears for that moment in an inspirational movie where the protagonists fight and climb over a hill or something. Willy the Killer Whale jumping over some weird kid.
A few I have seen carry the victim story and project them everywhere like a projector leaking light. Crazy. And quite a few.
There is no problem having or projecting a story, but when you are too caught up with one tale, one message, you become a one-note human.
Unless trying to reinforce an idea for whatever purpose, it is best to not project stories or get too deep into your own story. Or project many different stories. Not a rule or law, but what I find effective.
Otherwise, we all will be caught up with some form of whatever without having the chance to do many things.
Saya Belia 4B
Sebagai Ketua Jejaka UMNO Cawangan Bangsar, saya ingin mengunjurkan setinggi-tinggi ucapan terima kasih kepada Perdana Menteri kita, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak menyediakan langit yang cerah hari ini.
Saya yakin, kalau PM ialah saudara Anwar Ibahim, langit akan gelap dan kita akan dihujani bontot.
Berdirinya saya di sini adalah untuk menyampaikan rasa tidak puas hati pada Restoran San Francisco 1901. Francais ini telah mencabar kerajaan - jangan cabar kerajaan! - dengan meminta untuk menjual hot dog di mahkamah.
Saya ingin tanya Restoran San Francisco 1901 yang tiada wakilnya hari ini, kenapa sanggup menconteng arang di muka setiap warga Malaysia sebegitu? Makanan orang Melayu bukan hot dog, tetapi ayam goreng.
Saya tidak mendengar KFC meminta permit untuk menjual ayam mereka - makanan tradisi Melayu - di mahkamah. Kalau mereka boleh mengikut adat-resam kita, kenapa tidak awak? Sudahlah San Francisco itu bandar di Amerika. KFC tak ada pula meletakkan nama bandar asing dalam kedai mereka. Apa salah KFC?
Saya juga ingin menegur sikap sesetengah pihak tidak bertanggungjawab yang memperlekehkan dan mentertawakan laman sesawang Kementerian Pertahanan yang saya akui, tidak diterjemah dengan baik.
Tetapi, apalah implikasi negatifnya kalau kita mengikut perincian cadangan di laman sesawang tersebut?
Bapa saya membelikan saya baju cerpelai - baju kebangsaan Malaysia - sejak saya kecil, dan ibu saya membunuh musang di pagi Raya agar kami adik beradik dapat memakainya untuk pergi masjid, sembahyang raya.
Tuan-tuan semua tidak fahaaaam, niat kerajaan. Kerajaan berniat baik. Kerajaan seudah menyediakan kesemuanya - bekalan air, eletrik, pili bomba, sungai. Semua sudah ada.
Saya kesal dengan retorik pembangkang dan media alternatif yang hanya mewujudkan polemik picisan yang pincang. Mereka hanya tahu membangkang, tetapi tidak mentadbir.
Sebagai belia 4B, saya akan bermain bola selepas ini. Jadi, saya harap saudara-saudari sekalian fikir-fikirkanlah apa yang bakal kita gunakan sebagai wacana masyarakat hadhari madani, samawi majusi.
Sekain, terima kasih.
Saya yakin, kalau PM ialah saudara Anwar Ibahim, langit akan gelap dan kita akan dihujani bontot.
Berdirinya saya di sini adalah untuk menyampaikan rasa tidak puas hati pada Restoran San Francisco 1901. Francais ini telah mencabar kerajaan - jangan cabar kerajaan! - dengan meminta untuk menjual hot dog di mahkamah.
Saya ingin tanya Restoran San Francisco 1901 yang tiada wakilnya hari ini, kenapa sanggup menconteng arang di muka setiap warga Malaysia sebegitu? Makanan orang Melayu bukan hot dog, tetapi ayam goreng.
Saya tidak mendengar KFC meminta permit untuk menjual ayam mereka - makanan tradisi Melayu - di mahkamah. Kalau mereka boleh mengikut adat-resam kita, kenapa tidak awak? Sudahlah San Francisco itu bandar di Amerika. KFC tak ada pula meletakkan nama bandar asing dalam kedai mereka. Apa salah KFC?
Saya juga ingin menegur sikap sesetengah pihak tidak bertanggungjawab yang memperlekehkan dan mentertawakan laman sesawang Kementerian Pertahanan yang saya akui, tidak diterjemah dengan baik.
Tetapi, apalah implikasi negatifnya kalau kita mengikut perincian cadangan di laman sesawang tersebut?
Bapa saya membelikan saya baju cerpelai - baju kebangsaan Malaysia - sejak saya kecil, dan ibu saya membunuh musang di pagi Raya agar kami adik beradik dapat memakainya untuk pergi masjid, sembahyang raya.
Tuan-tuan semua tidak fahaaaam, niat kerajaan. Kerajaan berniat baik. Kerajaan seudah menyediakan kesemuanya - bekalan air, eletrik, pili bomba, sungai. Semua sudah ada.
Saya kesal dengan retorik pembangkang dan media alternatif yang hanya mewujudkan polemik picisan yang pincang. Mereka hanya tahu membangkang, tetapi tidak mentadbir.
Sebagai belia 4B, saya akan bermain bola selepas ini. Jadi, saya harap saudara-saudari sekalian fikir-fikirkanlah apa yang bakal kita gunakan sebagai wacana masyarakat hadhari madani, samawi majusi.
Sekain, terima kasih.
Intermission: Nine Yin Manuals
In recent weeks, I am thinking of expanding my skill sets. My question is, which way?
I started out as a programmer, because I prefer talking to machines than humans. After graduating, for no apparent reason, my gut instincts told me to pursue my dreams of writing. Well, there was a reason. I went through that cult - the Asiaworks training thing.
If you go through the training, the most important thing - for me - was facing yourself. You can't find the truth without knowing yourself. Gnothi seauton. The training works (or doesn't) differently for different people.
I would say that if this was Heaven's Sword and Dragon Sabre, that would be Great Solar Stance.
I was a guy in the desert, finding a few drops of water.
I went into journalism because Neil Gaiman became a journalist for 8 years. The past 8 years, I have achieved whatever I wanted to achieve. My goals, not others'.
Wrote a biography, a few movies, some TV series, a couple of documentaries, wrote a novel. The usual stuff. I picked up photography along the way.
Now, I have writing. Should I try my hand and push at photography, programming or graphic design? Should I push languages? I left my Japanese education early, and I have been listening to Cantonese and Hokkien.
Some things, I will continue to hone. After discovering Eckhart Tolle, I will continue to live my life as an experiment in happiness.
I started out as a programmer, because I prefer talking to machines than humans. After graduating, for no apparent reason, my gut instincts told me to pursue my dreams of writing. Well, there was a reason. I went through that cult - the Asiaworks training thing.
If you go through the training, the most important thing - for me - was facing yourself. You can't find the truth without knowing yourself. Gnothi seauton. The training works (or doesn't) differently for different people.
I would say that if this was Heaven's Sword and Dragon Sabre, that would be Great Solar Stance.
I was a guy in the desert, finding a few drops of water.
I went into journalism because Neil Gaiman became a journalist for 8 years. The past 8 years, I have achieved whatever I wanted to achieve. My goals, not others'.
Wrote a biography, a few movies, some TV series, a couple of documentaries, wrote a novel. The usual stuff. I picked up photography along the way.
Now, I have writing. Should I try my hand and push at photography, programming or graphic design? Should I push languages? I left my Japanese education early, and I have been listening to Cantonese and Hokkien.
Some things, I will continue to hone. After discovering Eckhart Tolle, I will continue to live my life as an experiment in happiness.
Limit Break
My mind was debating whether I should or should not write about how I'm feeling good.
Consider that most idiots, when seeing or sensing someone in a positive mood would seek to destroy that positivity as it is seen and experienced - perhaps unconsciously - as a threat to their self-existence or in other words ego.
If I were to reveal my happiness, I would be besieged by hordes of idiots trying to disprove my statements. Especially those who believe reading this website will give them some kind of advantage over me as they find out what I'm thinking.
Then, I thought, why the fuck should I give a fuck?
In the past few weeks, since I decided that there's no use moping around and whining to my sister, I decided to move forward. When I move, I can't help but distort and skew the world around me. It was the price. It is always the price. Our existence deforms the universe - that is responsibility, said Delirium.
So I continued my breathing exercises, picked up on my cooking and started focusing. There are literally hundreds of tiny little tasks, maybe thousands. I approach them one by one, and I apply Eckhart Tolle's teachings.
I find that my energy has improved, and I am now more aware of energy projection, my presence. I sense that the working days seem shorter as I cram even more things into them.
My memory has improved as I begin to see things as both disjointed individual things as well as part of a whole. I could remember figures, facts, actual quotes, even dig up memories of old, things I haven't been able to remember for a long time.
It was like, before this, I always saw the world as moving in slow motion, without me being able to do anything. Now, I can make some movements. Only some.
This weekend, I am faced with three tasks. Three projects - all very different challenges but requiring the same kind of awareness.
The first is an organisational challenge. I need to re-establish flow. The second requires an understanding of mass psychology and research. The third, taps into creativity and storytelling, primarily.
I have 48 hours, starting 39 minutes ago. See you after the gap.
Consider that most idiots, when seeing or sensing someone in a positive mood would seek to destroy that positivity as it is seen and experienced - perhaps unconsciously - as a threat to their self-existence or in other words ego.
If I were to reveal my happiness, I would be besieged by hordes of idiots trying to disprove my statements. Especially those who believe reading this website will give them some kind of advantage over me as they find out what I'm thinking.
Then, I thought, why the fuck should I give a fuck?
In the past few weeks, since I decided that there's no use moping around and whining to my sister, I decided to move forward. When I move, I can't help but distort and skew the world around me. It was the price. It is always the price. Our existence deforms the universe - that is responsibility, said Delirium.
So I continued my breathing exercises, picked up on my cooking and started focusing. There are literally hundreds of tiny little tasks, maybe thousands. I approach them one by one, and I apply Eckhart Tolle's teachings.
I find that my energy has improved, and I am now more aware of energy projection, my presence. I sense that the working days seem shorter as I cram even more things into them.
My memory has improved as I begin to see things as both disjointed individual things as well as part of a whole. I could remember figures, facts, actual quotes, even dig up memories of old, things I haven't been able to remember for a long time.
It was like, before this, I always saw the world as moving in slow motion, without me being able to do anything. Now, I can make some movements. Only some.
This weekend, I am faced with three tasks. Three projects - all very different challenges but requiring the same kind of awareness.
The first is an organisational challenge. I need to re-establish flow. The second requires an understanding of mass psychology and research. The third, taps into creativity and storytelling, primarily.
I have 48 hours, starting 39 minutes ago. See you after the gap.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Baru-Baru Ini: Analisis Politik Sebab Terbangun Nak Kencing
Selepas puas bergelak ketawa dengan retorik politik klise di Twitter, aku duduk sebentar sambil menghisap rokok.
Aku memerhatikan perkembangan politik Malaysia secara senyap. Aku bukan orang politik. Aku orang paya.
Baru-baru ni, ada cerita penulis blog ternama Sakmongkol masuk DAP. Rupanya dia dulu ADUN Pekan. Masa yang sama, RPK hentam Anwar.
Baru-baru ini jugak, ada kisah Anwar nak namakan pengganti. Baguslah. Aku rasa PR akan lebih kukuh tanpa Anwar. Calon terbaik? Bagi aku, Baru Bian.
Baru Bian amat popular, dan mampu menukar arus di Sabah dan Sarawak - kawasan kelemahan pembangkang, kalau ikut analisis RPK.
Kalau Baru Bian calon PM Pakatan Rakyat, aku fikir barulah ada keseronokan pilihanraya umum nanti. Hahaha.
Kuasa kedua-dua BN dan PR harus dikekang. Sebagai seorang yang True Neutral sejati, aku pedulittaik sapa menang, sapa kalah. Bukan aku dapat duit pun. Hidup aku sama aje.
Kalau aku menyampah sangat duduk Malaysia, aku pindah negara lain. Menyalak, melolong ke hulu ke hilir, buang masa je.
Pergilah mampus.
Aku memerhatikan perkembangan politik Malaysia secara senyap. Aku bukan orang politik. Aku orang paya.
Baru-baru ni, ada cerita penulis blog ternama Sakmongkol masuk DAP. Rupanya dia dulu ADUN Pekan. Masa yang sama, RPK hentam Anwar.
Baru-baru ini jugak, ada kisah Anwar nak namakan pengganti. Baguslah. Aku rasa PR akan lebih kukuh tanpa Anwar. Calon terbaik? Bagi aku, Baru Bian.
Baru Bian amat popular, dan mampu menukar arus di Sabah dan Sarawak - kawasan kelemahan pembangkang, kalau ikut analisis RPK.
Kalau Baru Bian calon PM Pakatan Rakyat, aku fikir barulah ada keseronokan pilihanraya umum nanti. Hahaha.
Kuasa kedua-dua BN dan PR harus dikekang. Sebagai seorang yang True Neutral sejati, aku pedulittaik sapa menang, sapa kalah. Bukan aku dapat duit pun. Hidup aku sama aje.
Kalau aku menyampah sangat duduk Malaysia, aku pindah negara lain. Menyalak, melolong ke hulu ke hilir, buang masa je.
Pergilah mampus.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Boron Bunch: The Continuing Adventures of the World's Most Boring Man
Today, I started work for 2012 with a bang. I uploaded four times the number of required stories, then checked to see my team is also on high gear.
Things get done and before I knew it, I was stopped during lunch for a consultation, by another department. Fortunately, I have spent most of my time in the past several months reading. That means four to eight hours every day poring through websites, in search of knowledge.
The consult was concerning a celebration in March and I gave ideas on how to improve a guest speaker option.
Then, it was time for a meeting. I am sometimes obsessed with structure, but this time, I forego the well-thought out introduction to cut straight to the chase - a defining point in a campaign.
This point, if not given proper focus and attention, could make or break the whole thing. Resolution? I will have to write it down.
Writing is my element. As I wrote, several things and methods came to mind and I began to see some ways on dealing with that pivotal point. None offer a complete solution, but it is possible.
Spent time on that for a while, farted, smoked, and then I had several interesting conversations before hooking up with some photographers and realising that I want to start taking pictures again.
Photographers are an uncanny tribe. Just like motoring as well as sports and entertainment journalists. We all think differently than normal news desk people. I was absorbing a lot of their demeanour and having a good time chatting up with them, before we all dispersed.
I found myself at a table of middle-aged newspeople. They listen. They also absorb, so I decided to unload on comic books, OhMyNews Japan and Yomiuri Shinbun. When no one talks, I will open my mouth. When everybody talks, I keep silent. It's a habit.
Then, my appointment showed up, and after two hours, he confided in me a sense of appreciation for people who do not whine.
I cringed a bit because I do whine, though nowadays only to family members and a very select few. I have gone through some bullshit, and I realise that whenever the shit hits the fan, you don't run away. You stand and you face it.
I wanted to run away many times in my life. But I didn't. I was too lazy. Normal people have fight or flight responses. I have fight, flight or sleep.
I won't run away. Somebody ran away once, from his problems. He was a good friend. And he left me with a huge mess. I walked on. Kept my head high. And the motherfucker STILL owes me money.
I'm not a runner. Nothing in this world scares me. There was a point I almost went bankrupt. It was my decisions that led to it. I owned it. I stood tall. It took some elbow grease and working till I literally coughed out blood, but I managed to pay most of what I owe.
My goal for 2012 is to be debt free. I know it can be done. In fact, I did it last year when I paid off my credit cards and half my student loans.
Hard work? Hah! I come from the swamp, motherfucker! My grandfather was in his 80s when he woke up at 6am every day to care for his bonsai trees, his one thousand chickens and 40 dogs. When he first came to Malaysia, sometime in 1917, he slept on a brick pillow and only had the clothes on his back. My other grandfather turned down a comfortable life in the Tun Razak administration, preferring the company of durian trees rather than politicians.
My father opened the village he stays in now, and he dragged it, kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. He improved the lives of so many people, rescued some from a lifetime of drug abuse and taught half the town.
I'm not running. Not fighting either. Definitely not sleeping. Not anymore.
Just bring it.
Things get done and before I knew it, I was stopped during lunch for a consultation, by another department. Fortunately, I have spent most of my time in the past several months reading. That means four to eight hours every day poring through websites, in search of knowledge.
The consult was concerning a celebration in March and I gave ideas on how to improve a guest speaker option.
Then, it was time for a meeting. I am sometimes obsessed with structure, but this time, I forego the well-thought out introduction to cut straight to the chase - a defining point in a campaign.
This point, if not given proper focus and attention, could make or break the whole thing. Resolution? I will have to write it down.
Writing is my element. As I wrote, several things and methods came to mind and I began to see some ways on dealing with that pivotal point. None offer a complete solution, but it is possible.
Spent time on that for a while, farted, smoked, and then I had several interesting conversations before hooking up with some photographers and realising that I want to start taking pictures again.
Photographers are an uncanny tribe. Just like motoring as well as sports and entertainment journalists. We all think differently than normal news desk people. I was absorbing a lot of their demeanour and having a good time chatting up with them, before we all dispersed.
I found myself at a table of middle-aged newspeople. They listen. They also absorb, so I decided to unload on comic books, OhMyNews Japan and Yomiuri Shinbun. When no one talks, I will open my mouth. When everybody talks, I keep silent. It's a habit.
Then, my appointment showed up, and after two hours, he confided in me a sense of appreciation for people who do not whine.
I cringed a bit because I do whine, though nowadays only to family members and a very select few. I have gone through some bullshit, and I realise that whenever the shit hits the fan, you don't run away. You stand and you face it.
I wanted to run away many times in my life. But I didn't. I was too lazy. Normal people have fight or flight responses. I have fight, flight or sleep.
I won't run away. Somebody ran away once, from his problems. He was a good friend. And he left me with a huge mess. I walked on. Kept my head high. And the motherfucker STILL owes me money.
I'm not a runner. Nothing in this world scares me. There was a point I almost went bankrupt. It was my decisions that led to it. I owned it. I stood tall. It took some elbow grease and working till I literally coughed out blood, but I managed to pay most of what I owe.
My goal for 2012 is to be debt free. I know it can be done. In fact, I did it last year when I paid off my credit cards and half my student loans.
Hard work? Hah! I come from the swamp, motherfucker! My grandfather was in his 80s when he woke up at 6am every day to care for his bonsai trees, his one thousand chickens and 40 dogs. When he first came to Malaysia, sometime in 1917, he slept on a brick pillow and only had the clothes on his back. My other grandfather turned down a comfortable life in the Tun Razak administration, preferring the company of durian trees rather than politicians.
My father opened the village he stays in now, and he dragged it, kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. He improved the lives of so many people, rescued some from a lifetime of drug abuse and taught half the town.
I'm not running. Not fighting either. Definitely not sleeping. Not anymore.
Just bring it.
Winning Conditions
Some of my freaky friends said I write a lot about spirituality, but not practical shit. Not useful shit.
I told them all to fuck off. The quest for happiness is the ONLY quest worth having. Everything else is just bullshit.
You get yourself in order, aligned with the truth, and nothing as well as no one can touch you. You will be free, one with the omniverse and all that jazz. Of what use is anything else?
You looking for a manual to become a millionaire? Hahaha. Not here, bitch. I won't pretend to know the secrets to wealth. What do I look like, Robert T Kiyosaki? Fucking conman.
I don't know any 52 easy life tweaks to make you lose weight, make a billion dollars while fucking every girl in Thailand. I don't sell drugs or delusions, motherfucker.
Still reading, you fucking morons?
Okay, here is ONE trick to winning. In life, winning is never defined by anybody or anything. People become losers because they go on and on and never stop anywhere. Hence, they never win - and because of that, they are losers.
What you can do is set the winning conditions for yourself. No one can do that, because then it's no fun and other people are always morons. Stupid motherfuckers.
So you set them, and you achieve them. Every single fucking day. No backing off. Full speed ahead. You make your own rules, and you reward yourself.
Still useless? Good. You're all still stupid. I win.
I told them all to fuck off. The quest for happiness is the ONLY quest worth having. Everything else is just bullshit.
You get yourself in order, aligned with the truth, and nothing as well as no one can touch you. You will be free, one with the omniverse and all that jazz. Of what use is anything else?
You looking for a manual to become a millionaire? Hahaha. Not here, bitch. I won't pretend to know the secrets to wealth. What do I look like, Robert T Kiyosaki? Fucking conman.
I don't know any 52 easy life tweaks to make you lose weight, make a billion dollars while fucking every girl in Thailand. I don't sell drugs or delusions, motherfucker.
Still reading, you fucking morons?
Okay, here is ONE trick to winning. In life, winning is never defined by anybody or anything. People become losers because they go on and on and never stop anywhere. Hence, they never win - and because of that, they are losers.
What you can do is set the winning conditions for yourself. No one can do that, because then it's no fun and other people are always morons. Stupid motherfuckers.
So you set them, and you achieve them. Every single fucking day. No backing off. Full speed ahead. You make your own rules, and you reward yourself.
Still useless? Good. You're all still stupid. I win.
Fight the Future
Idiots live in the past. Wannabes live in the future. These stupid fucks do not understand that the past and the future do not exist. Time does not exist, except only as the present.
It is very sad to see otherwise healthy, talented people preferring to live in a moment long lost. An instant when they were great, to justify for present failures and shortcomings. It's pathetic and annoying.
All the past is ever good for is jokes. For laughs. And to learn shit. To extrapolate data.
"I was the greatest-" IT DOESN'T MATTER if you were or were not. The only thing that counts is, are you the greatest NOW? How the fuck will past wins and losses influence your play today?
And then there are those who live on potential. On a promise that one day, they'll do shit. Fuck that shit, man. You either do, or shut the fuck up.
The reason why people use the past and the future as excuses is because they are afraid. Most people are cowards, not wanting to face everything they have faced before.
But that's stupid.
I've dealt with failure and rejection. Fucking conmen conned me and 'friends' backstabbing me. I'm still standing here saying fuck the free world.
There was a point when I thought, "It can't get any worse than this." but it did. And I'm still alive. Still standing with the only two things that have stayed with me - my wit, and my will.
I'm still the greatest there was, the greatest there is, and the greatest there ever will be.
When insecure freaks tried to make me feel insecure, I was just laughing inside. There is no one in this world and beyond that can make me feel insecure.
I grew out of comparing myself and tethering my self-worth to people's judgments a long time ago. I run a lonely race and the only worthy competition is myself. I do not try to be a better person, because the very concept of 'better' is dumb and stupid.
Realising that means you can stop wasting your time on fucking bullshit and start to do things that matter to you.
Failure and success, like right and wrong, are basically the same thing - results. Results are neither your friend nor your enemy. They are just there. It is our judgements that colour them, make them something they are not. It's good for business and shit, but applying this shit to our selves is a recipe for disaster.
The only path to true happiness is not in the results, but in the process. A result is a result, is a result. The process, though - that's living.
You understand any of this, you fucking morons?
It is very sad to see otherwise healthy, talented people preferring to live in a moment long lost. An instant when they were great, to justify for present failures and shortcomings. It's pathetic and annoying.
All the past is ever good for is jokes. For laughs. And to learn shit. To extrapolate data.
"I was the greatest-" IT DOESN'T MATTER if you were or were not. The only thing that counts is, are you the greatest NOW? How the fuck will past wins and losses influence your play today?
And then there are those who live on potential. On a promise that one day, they'll do shit. Fuck that shit, man. You either do, or shut the fuck up.
The reason why people use the past and the future as excuses is because they are afraid. Most people are cowards, not wanting to face everything they have faced before.
But that's stupid.
I've dealt with failure and rejection. Fucking conmen conned me and 'friends' backstabbing me. I'm still standing here saying fuck the free world.
There was a point when I thought, "It can't get any worse than this." but it did. And I'm still alive. Still standing with the only two things that have stayed with me - my wit, and my will.
I'm still the greatest there was, the greatest there is, and the greatest there ever will be.
When insecure freaks tried to make me feel insecure, I was just laughing inside. There is no one in this world and beyond that can make me feel insecure.
I grew out of comparing myself and tethering my self-worth to people's judgments a long time ago. I run a lonely race and the only worthy competition is myself. I do not try to be a better person, because the very concept of 'better' is dumb and stupid.
Realising that means you can stop wasting your time on fucking bullshit and start to do things that matter to you.
Failure and success, like right and wrong, are basically the same thing - results. Results are neither your friend nor your enemy. They are just there. It is our judgements that colour them, make them something they are not. It's good for business and shit, but applying this shit to our selves is a recipe for disaster.
The only path to true happiness is not in the results, but in the process. A result is a result, is a result. The process, though - that's living.
You understand any of this, you fucking morons?
Monday, January 2, 2012
Moronic Verses
I'm a text offender, a registered text offender who doesn't give a fuck about your gender, closed Government tenders, executive orders or even the motherfucking KFC crispy chicken tenders.
I do the razzle dazzle and Billy Dee Williams start to sizzle.
Lost reference, yo! But nobody ever heard of Pablo and that chick, much less find anything I say stick. But you always pray to me before each and every journey.
Cause I'm dope, I'm MONEY! I'm a self-taught everything - I even trained yo momma how to get down and start sucking.
I do the razzle dazzle and Billy Dee Williams start to sizzle.
Lost reference, yo! But nobody ever heard of Pablo and that chick, much less find anything I say stick. But you always pray to me before each and every journey.
Cause I'm dope, I'm MONEY! I'm a self-taught everything - I even trained yo momma how to get down and start sucking.
The Adventures of Boron - World's Most Boring Man
I finished a paper - a proposal - a couple of hours ago. I was going to postpone it till tomorrow, but decided to start tonight.
It was done in two hours. I felt it move and I went for it. I was halfway, then fully done. It's a 2,000 word paper - pretty flimsy. By no means a complete and finished article, even after the once-over polishing I did.
At the most, this would be enough to illustrate one of my ideas. Just one. Though it has, over time, expanded and mutated into something else.
I'm beginning to feel like my old self again.
People usually say this as an excuse. "I'm beginning to work like how I used to," said the guy who fucked up, or the woman who was facing intense pressure from below-par performance.
It is used usually to basically say, "You know, I'm a lot better than how you see me now. If I could just replicate the conditions and situations that happened before, in the past, I can show you what I can do and you will be impressed and you will like me."
I give no excuses. I go at every task with whatever I can at any moment. That's how I fucking roll. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes, the tasks go beyond expectations. That's how it is.
Tonight, I will tell you about two things - presence and awareness. Presence is how you carry yourself, the energy that you project. I find that people - myself included - respond to any energy with the same type.
You bring ego, a victim mentality, insecurities into a grouping of people, and all you get is the same shit from everyone - ego, victim mentalities and insecurities. People don't realise it, but whatever they get from others is usually exactly what they give out, what they project.
Presence is a state when you bring your soul and your essence into an area. Martial arts people sometimes describe this as Chi or Qi or whatever. And no, you can't fly using qi. But what you can do is control your presence.
Other entities need acknowledgement in order to bring their presence around as well. Some people, though, are beyond that in the sense that no matter what you do, they will never be present. I have no idea what to do with these people. I know that we are all connected, but I am not responsible for other people as well.
Second is awareness. Do you ever do anything automatically? Like you wake up and go to the bathroom, pick up your toothbrush and start brushing, while your mind feels like mashed potato? Have you ever driven home drunk, your mind stuck on a loop somewhere else?
Sometimes, I talk without thinking - reactionary stuff are always non-aware. Whenever I reach for another cigarette, I am doing so without awareness.
Remember when you lose your temper, consumed by sadness, doing something stupid because you were so happy?
These situations demonstrate you without being aware. There is another state where you do realise what you are doing, but do not know why you are doing it or why you keep doing it even though your rational brain keeps telling you not to. Like having sex with your abusive boyfriend/husband. Again. All the while screaming inside?
This are actions done without awareness. If you are aware, you would be in complete control of yourself. You are aware of even the slightest movement.
It doesn't happen to me a lot of times - total awareness - but when it does, it's fucking sweet. Before I know it, things get done. All those unnecessary chatter go away and what remains is the empirical value of the situation.
Example: The task of taking out the garbage could be a sensitive issue if you live with other people. I don't, but I used to. So you can have all the drama in the world, plot to kill your housemates and carry a spiteful resentment that could last years or in my case - a decade.
But if you isolate everything and just focus - being aware - of merely handling taking the trash out, or reasoning with the person who is supposed to take the trash, you can solve the issue.
Awareness is very important, internally, and with awareness, you bring it to the world with presence.
I assure you that being aware of your own intentions and everything going on inside will eliminate any form of evil within you. People who are aware are never evil, unless they are psychopaths.
It's okay with me, because I am a high-level functioning sociopath. Ha! Stole that from Sherlock Holmes - the British TV series, not the Hollywood movie.
So be aware, and be present. Once you have dealt with your own evil, the evils of the world will be lessened because you are not feeding it.
Evil still exists, though - and so does stupidity - so be careful.
This is Boron - World's Most Boring Man, signing off.
It was done in two hours. I felt it move and I went for it. I was halfway, then fully done. It's a 2,000 word paper - pretty flimsy. By no means a complete and finished article, even after the once-over polishing I did.
At the most, this would be enough to illustrate one of my ideas. Just one. Though it has, over time, expanded and mutated into something else.
I'm beginning to feel like my old self again.
People usually say this as an excuse. "I'm beginning to work like how I used to," said the guy who fucked up, or the woman who was facing intense pressure from below-par performance.
It is used usually to basically say, "You know, I'm a lot better than how you see me now. If I could just replicate the conditions and situations that happened before, in the past, I can show you what I can do and you will be impressed and you will like me."
I give no excuses. I go at every task with whatever I can at any moment. That's how I fucking roll. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes, the tasks go beyond expectations. That's how it is.
Tonight, I will tell you about two things - presence and awareness. Presence is how you carry yourself, the energy that you project. I find that people - myself included - respond to any energy with the same type.
You bring ego, a victim mentality, insecurities into a grouping of people, and all you get is the same shit from everyone - ego, victim mentalities and insecurities. People don't realise it, but whatever they get from others is usually exactly what they give out, what they project.
Presence is a state when you bring your soul and your essence into an area. Martial arts people sometimes describe this as Chi or Qi or whatever. And no, you can't fly using qi. But what you can do is control your presence.
Other entities need acknowledgement in order to bring their presence around as well. Some people, though, are beyond that in the sense that no matter what you do, they will never be present. I have no idea what to do with these people. I know that we are all connected, but I am not responsible for other people as well.
Second is awareness. Do you ever do anything automatically? Like you wake up and go to the bathroom, pick up your toothbrush and start brushing, while your mind feels like mashed potato? Have you ever driven home drunk, your mind stuck on a loop somewhere else?
Sometimes, I talk without thinking - reactionary stuff are always non-aware. Whenever I reach for another cigarette, I am doing so without awareness.
Remember when you lose your temper, consumed by sadness, doing something stupid because you were so happy?
These situations demonstrate you without being aware. There is another state where you do realise what you are doing, but do not know why you are doing it or why you keep doing it even though your rational brain keeps telling you not to. Like having sex with your abusive boyfriend/husband. Again. All the while screaming inside?
This are actions done without awareness. If you are aware, you would be in complete control of yourself. You are aware of even the slightest movement.
It doesn't happen to me a lot of times - total awareness - but when it does, it's fucking sweet. Before I know it, things get done. All those unnecessary chatter go away and what remains is the empirical value of the situation.
Example: The task of taking out the garbage could be a sensitive issue if you live with other people. I don't, but I used to. So you can have all the drama in the world, plot to kill your housemates and carry a spiteful resentment that could last years or in my case - a decade.
But if you isolate everything and just focus - being aware - of merely handling taking the trash out, or reasoning with the person who is supposed to take the trash, you can solve the issue.
Awareness is very important, internally, and with awareness, you bring it to the world with presence.
I assure you that being aware of your own intentions and everything going on inside will eliminate any form of evil within you. People who are aware are never evil, unless they are psychopaths.
It's okay with me, because I am a high-level functioning sociopath. Ha! Stole that from Sherlock Holmes - the British TV series, not the Hollywood movie.
So be aware, and be present. Once you have dealt with your own evil, the evils of the world will be lessened because you are not feeding it.
Evil still exists, though - and so does stupidity - so be careful.
This is Boron - World's Most Boring Man, signing off.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Malaysian Psycho: Cyclic Coherency
I discovered early on, that if I were to tell people the truth in a direct manner, they would never believe it.
Example: For years, I have been telling people that I have the most powerful mind in the world and that I also have a strong dick that can stand sexual intercourse for hours on end, ensuring any woman experiencing orgasm if they have the stamina to ride my dick.
Few believed me. I do not understand why.
So I went ahead and told them the truth in a roundabout manner. This seemed to work, until I realised the tragic truth - people expect you to lie. And why is that? Because people lie. They themselves lie, and their only yardstick to measure and judge people - and they do at every single moment of their lives - is to compare others to themselves.
Which is why it is vital - for most people - to get as much varied experience as possible in order to judge more accurately.
These days, my communication is confined to what is vital and those details which the other person needs. I had a problem wi9th communication early in my life simply because I could not compress all the information I have in succinct forms.
How do I include a description of the processes in which my mind goes through to ascertain that someone's goals are veiled through a complex network of lies and falsehoods?
I also find our Asian societies a bit disorienting because you are not supposed to look directly at people in their eyes as you speak with them. This is considered a sign of aggression - something we share with dogs.
The eyes do reveal a lot. A contracted iris means that a person is in an uncomfortable state, he/she/it does not want to absorb more of what's happening. Dilated pupils means they are in a state of joy.
I have some trouble with hearing - my range is slightly off - and whenever some people read this on my blog, they try to screw me over by talking in a rushed, low tone. I always get my revenge by destroying their lives, but that's besides the point.
I have learned to compensate by focusing on people's lip movements. There are also various clues there. Lips quiver and tremble, they stick out, go in, or - when talking - reveal more of the lower teeth or upper teeth.
Or how about sometimes some people are nice to you when they feel guilty for screwing you over or talking behind your back?
How the fuck was I going to incorporate all this information in a few sentences? It is impossible, unless I am talking to myself.
And so, what I do for important conversations is that I run simulations inside my head. It is slow at first, making me a mostly silent creature.
With practice, though, this becomes more habitual and instinctive.
Man, I am so smart. And my dick is strong as well.
Example: For years, I have been telling people that I have the most powerful mind in the world and that I also have a strong dick that can stand sexual intercourse for hours on end, ensuring any woman experiencing orgasm if they have the stamina to ride my dick.
Few believed me. I do not understand why.
So I went ahead and told them the truth in a roundabout manner. This seemed to work, until I realised the tragic truth - people expect you to lie. And why is that? Because people lie. They themselves lie, and their only yardstick to measure and judge people - and they do at every single moment of their lives - is to compare others to themselves.
Which is why it is vital - for most people - to get as much varied experience as possible in order to judge more accurately.
These days, my communication is confined to what is vital and those details which the other person needs. I had a problem wi9th communication early in my life simply because I could not compress all the information I have in succinct forms.
How do I include a description of the processes in which my mind goes through to ascertain that someone's goals are veiled through a complex network of lies and falsehoods?
I also find our Asian societies a bit disorienting because you are not supposed to look directly at people in their eyes as you speak with them. This is considered a sign of aggression - something we share with dogs.
The eyes do reveal a lot. A contracted iris means that a person is in an uncomfortable state, he/she/it does not want to absorb more of what's happening. Dilated pupils means they are in a state of joy.
I have some trouble with hearing - my range is slightly off - and whenever some people read this on my blog, they try to screw me over by talking in a rushed, low tone. I always get my revenge by destroying their lives, but that's besides the point.
I have learned to compensate by focusing on people's lip movements. There are also various clues there. Lips quiver and tremble, they stick out, go in, or - when talking - reveal more of the lower teeth or upper teeth.
Or how about sometimes some people are nice to you when they feel guilty for screwing you over or talking behind your back?
How the fuck was I going to incorporate all this information in a few sentences? It is impossible, unless I am talking to myself.
And so, what I do for important conversations is that I run simulations inside my head. It is slow at first, making me a mostly silent creature.
With practice, though, this becomes more habitual and instinctive.
Man, I am so smart. And my dick is strong as well.
Night Visits
And so I had a night visitor - an old friend from the old days. He was seeking council - advice on going freelancing. However, I sense that he also wanted me to tell him what to do, and I am not in the business of running anyone's life, except for a ridiculous amount of money. Though I did say the price for listening is that I get to write a blog about our encounter since I am approached many times over by similar friends facing similar difficulties.
And no, this is not me talking about a friend when I'm really talking about myself. This is me demonstrating how smart I am, at the expense of other people.
I told him his life is his own, and that he is responsible for it and himself. There is no one else who can take responsibility for that.
He whined about his work making him unhappy and I told him that nothing and no one makes us feel anything. It is, in the end, ourselves that create the feelings and situations.
I told him to stop being a victim. We all have more power than we realise. Things happen because individuals went ahead and did them. I longed for a system that could eliminate the human factor, but - perhaps for my benefit as well as every human being - that system does not exist.
Corporations and countries work because of the effort of the individual, doing tasks. The overall result is simply a culmination of all tasks and each result.
Therefore, the individual is key, in current systems. Any one part dropping the ball means that every part - the whole sum - is incomplete.
I told my friend, cruelly, to grow up. And to stop being a victim. And to distrust emotions, as emotions are simply an energy source that can consume you.
Assert reality, I told him.
As he left, though, I wondered whether his visit was for his sake, or was it for my benefit, as I review the lessons of old.
Assert reality!
And no, this is not me talking about a friend when I'm really talking about myself. This is me demonstrating how smart I am, at the expense of other people.
I told him his life is his own, and that he is responsible for it and himself. There is no one else who can take responsibility for that.
He whined about his work making him unhappy and I told him that nothing and no one makes us feel anything. It is, in the end, ourselves that create the feelings and situations.
I told him to stop being a victim. We all have more power than we realise. Things happen because individuals went ahead and did them. I longed for a system that could eliminate the human factor, but - perhaps for my benefit as well as every human being - that system does not exist.
Corporations and countries work because of the effort of the individual, doing tasks. The overall result is simply a culmination of all tasks and each result.
Therefore, the individual is key, in current systems. Any one part dropping the ball means that every part - the whole sum - is incomplete.
I told my friend, cruelly, to grow up. And to stop being a victim. And to distrust emotions, as emotions are simply an energy source that can consume you.
Assert reality, I told him.
As he left, though, I wondered whether his visit was for his sake, or was it for my benefit, as I review the lessons of old.
Assert reality!
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