A Twist in the Tale

I was surfing (with a keyboard) when I encountered this article.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Written by Lim Yung Hui, it points towards this part of the new CPB2011 bill:

Application2.

(1)This Act applies throughout Malaysia.

(2) This Act applies to the Critical National Information Infrastructure(CNII).

(3)Every Registered Computing Practitioner,Registered Computing Professional and Registered Computing Services Provider shall be subject to this Act

Read the full second draft here.

A few questions have surfaced. Lim asserts that the act only applies to CNII:

So, with my minimal knowledge of legal / legislation matters, I would say this Act DOES NOT cover ALL Malaysian tech people (contrary to many assertions, including mine). Unless you’re developing mission-critical systems to support the Malaysian economy, defense, public health and safety, this Act is probably of no relevance to you. - Lim

Then again, there is that sentence above CNII - (1)This Act applies throughout Malaysia. So, is it all CNII projects throughout Malaysia, or simply all throughout Malaysia?

Which is it? I shall wait for some response or new developments on the matter.

And Then They Came for the Technopriests

A friend posted this as apparently, the Governmen is allegedly considering this act. And the technopriests are shouting bloody murder.

A few years ago, the paranoid Pak Lah Government tried to slap bloggers with a Mutant Registration Act.

They wanted to register us all and brand us with numbers and licenses similar to the Printing Presses and Publications Act (and the Jewish registration in WWII Germany) that would have severely curtailed our freedom of expression, speech and to write things like this x-rated poem in BM:

Sorong konek, tarik konek
Bijik kelentit dalam perahu
Suruh kongkek, saya kongkek
Puki mak kau memang berbulu

You know what I did when they tried to come for us? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They will pry my backlit keyboard(s) from my cold, dead fingers. But before that drama, there would have been years, maybe decades of me taking my shit underground and attacking whatever form of governance that is erected. Just for fucks.

Now, the Government has realised that they cannot control alternative media or social media, so this act they are introducing I believe is aimed at controlling the technology that makes it an even-playing field. If they can't tell you to stop using the swing, they will take away the foundation of that swing and try to destroy it.

This bill, if passed, will PROBABLY not affect regular technopriests, aside from minor inconveniences of infringing their rights. However, it will serve as a means to control those whom the Government does not like.

For example, the technopriests at Malaysiakini, The Malaysian Insider, The Mole, hell, even Lim Kit Siang's blog may not be given accreditation and thus their sites will be deemed illegal.

It could also affect me.

For example, if I wanted to start a site about how Datuk Seri Rais Yatim is a douchebag (which he is clearly not)


PICTURED: NOT Rais

or how Datuk Hishamuddin Hussein looks like an 'ikan baung' (he does NOT look like an 'ikan baung' or any variety of catfish),


CAPTION: This is not Hishamuddin, and neither is it an 'ikan baung'



CAPTION: The Real McCoy

the Government, through this bill, if they so choose, can use it to deem the activities of my site's programmer as illegal and therefore the site as illegal. And Google, who worships money, will probably succumb to Government pressure and block it, even if I host it overseas.

Apparently, they have never relented from trying to slap on the Mutant Registration Act on us, just trying it in different ways.

This is not a new idea. Several years ago, as I discarded my dreams of being a programmer to become a writer, several people wanted to band together and form an IT board and I was offered to join them. The intention, aside from obviously making money, was good. It was to protect and validate the IT profession as how engineers, lawyers and doctors have their own board thingies.

However, none of us ever envisioned something like that to be used as a means of control.

I will post updates on this issue as soon as I find any. I currently do not know when the bill is going to be tabled or if it has been tabled already.

All I can say is:

Reality 2

What BN Politicians Think They Look Like:



What They REALLY Look Like:

Reality

What Opposition Politicians Think They Look Like, Concerning Phantom Voters:



What They REALLY Look Like:



I woke up in the middle of the night to do this? Fuck!

Masuk Bakul Angkat Lebih-Lebih

Sambal belacan aku, punyalah pedas, lepas makan DAN basuh tangan, kalau aku tampar Nicolas Cage, terus jadi Ghost Rider.


CAPTION: Nicolas Cage control macho lepas kena backhand aku

Aku terjaga tadi pasal rasa nak minum susu coklat. Patut dah tidur dah. Okaylah, aku tidur dulu.

Genesis

Coming back from a hectic day at work, I put on the Neon Genesis Evangelion DVDs and watched the Rebuild of Evangelion - director Hideaki Anno and Studio Gainax's re-telling of the story of Eva - and realised very well that Evangelion was my first introduction to Judaism.

NGE had angels named in the Abrahamic tradition, trying to bond with either Adam or Lilith - an exclusively Jewish construct of the first woman. When they combine to initiate the Human Instrumentality Project, it is in the form of the Tree of Sefirot - the Jewish Tree of Life.

All this religious symbolism and signifying, while featuring this:


PICTURED: Judaism

Yes, that is from an extended nude scene from a recent movie of the original cartoon series. So you have religious dogma being used as a basis for a giant robot cartoon, teenage sexual tension and naked cartoons - an explosive combination that sadly, for some, resulted in them purchasing this:


Nothing says "Freak!" louder than naked dolls on your desk.

Hideaki Anno also loaded the whole anime with psychoses. NGE was a psychological tour de force which fascinated me because I was studying psychology to show how smart I am. I was very insecure with my intelligence back then because everyone thought - thinks - I am stupid. Or gay. Or a Hindu. Quite unrelated, but these misconceptions are all I deal with every day.

I have since outgrown this childish insecurity by realising that everyone is stupid - or gay. Or Hindu - and accepting that fact with my Buddha powers.

Personally, I don't like the Evangelion robots. The very concept of very rare, special robots built for exactly one, 'chosen' pilot irks me. I prefer the Robotech mecha, which are mass-produced.

If everything is mass-produced and the same, then the only difference would be the man behind the machine.

This is why I like PCs. Completely customisable to your own specifications and how you want to use it. There is no predestination determined by one will, one way. Just free will.

I do not like Apple simply because their products make it so hard to exercise free will. There is no freedom in using their stuff. There is only one way - the Apple way. It is the vision of only one man. Or one team. And I find that just as disconcerting as listening to the wisdom of the crowd. I hate both absolute states.

What the fuck am I writing? Oh. Neon Genesis Evangelion. Nekkid cartoons. Judaism. Cool.

Gonna go sleep now. I've pretended enough that I am oh-so-smart and know what I'm talking about. The self-deprecating humour signifying that I am better than what I have written. Oooh. Depth.

Fuck it. Sleep.

Insecurities Commission: Politics of 'The Other'

In today's Insecurities Commission, we shall talk about group dynamics and the ego.

Many years ago, I was part of a team that was trying to raise RM20,000 for an orphanage. Our deadline was roughly a month.

It was both pain and pleasure as, a couple of weeks in, the more insecure members of the group started to point fingers at each other. A few people quit.

Then, the organisers or facilitators or the demon-priest Cenobites decided to step in.


Cenobites: Explorers of pain and pleasure

They introduced us to another, similar group who would 'help' us. This triggered our collective ego, as most may have felt that we were considered not good enough to do the job, which was going rather well, actually, despite the drama.

I remarked to another member of the team at the time, that this was similar to a psychological experiment mentioned in Peter Gray's Psychology text book, the chapter on the Eagles vs the Rattlers, which I have on my bookshelf (and I am mentioning this to show how smart I am).

In the experiment, a group of kids at a summer camp were separated into two - the Eagles and the Rattlers. Both groups soon found identities and labels to latch on to as well as labels for the opposing team. The Eagles considered themselves superior and better coordinated than the 'disorganised' Rattlers. The Rattlers believe they are cool and condemn the Eagles as arrogant sticks in the mud.

The guy gave me a blank look, and as my own individual issue at the time was my unwillingness to step forward and kick up a fuss for no reason, I decided to keep my thoughts to myself.

Long story short, the team managed to pull off the 20K fundraising while the other team was busy doing their own project and that was that.

Eight years later today, I can't help but wonder if we had actually gone into the whole thing with a more positive and open attitude, could we have done better?

Imagine if we simply included the other team. We would have more bodies, more minds and ultimately more resources. The intention, the goal was to raise funds for a fucking orphanage, not demonstrate how big our penises or clitorises were. Are. Whatever.

I am constantly reminded of this project whenever I work with other teams or even other people. Hate, insecurities and fear bring with it the seeds of destruction and as the Lord of Destruction, I know all about it.

I was later thrust into production, where it is a hugely collaborative medium. I can't very well worry about what the props people are doing, or whether the costumes are correct or even if the actors are given proper motivation. Worrying about other people's responsibilities and work only meant I would lose sleep worrying about nothing. The others will do what they do, regardless.

The collective ego and group paranoia was demonstrated in Lost. The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 literally encountered 'The Others' and both groups behaved like in classic psychology. Textbook psychology. The Eagles vs the Rattlers.

Ah, who cares? I'm a berserker, what do I know? BERSERKER BARRAGE!

A Special Christmas Offer to Malaysian Politicians

Caption: PICTURE IS UNRELATED

Hey, Malaysian politicians!

Are you tired of being the butt of everyone's joke? Is your ego lashing out because it has grown small due to the stupid shit you say? Are you worried that you will lose in the next General Elections?

Fear not! Uncle Amir is here with a Special Christmas Offer!

For merely RM20 million, I will deliver 3 million voters in your favour. How? Why, through the MAGIC OF THE INTERNET!

I will hardcode a null backspace to my Java environment and then send a pre-fetch command to ALL computers in Malaysia, including pocket calculators and PS3s, even a TI-82.

Using the MIDI capabilities of the gadgets, I will then send a sequence of brain-altering hypnotic sub-dermal suggestions to the frontal lobe of these targets, making them either insecure about their faith (for YOU, PIS-M), believe one day they can actually get the mythical, mystical, total bullshit 'Malay rights' (UMNOPutras! Special Offer!), racists but pretend to be non-racists (DAP), or ALL OF THE ABOVE (PKR).

(MIC, MCA, Gerakan, whatever party Ku Li is in - no hope for you. Take the money and run to Australia. Parti Kita - who?)

This system will work on any human, dog, pig or monkey no matter how primitive or modern they are. They will all succumb to being irrational, emotional people who chant slogans and fist-pump because they have nothing better to do than waste other people's time.

Using this 'hacking technology', I will also 'hack Facebook' AND 'hack Google', by getting their source codes in a notepad and fiddling with their header and footer classes. Then I will funnel US$ 400 billion - almost the entire revenue for new media in the States last year or the year before - into your Cayman Islands/Israel/Swiss bank accounts.

If you order now, I will also make anyone have sex with you by also stimulating their medula oblongata with the relative minor of F Sharp.

Order now!

Here's my Maybank account number: 114487051142. Name: Amir Hafizi Mohamed Sood. Password: Password

BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY

Desire Series: Ambition

Desire is poison. And it is so simply because we treat it that way.

Ambition is just another word meaning to desire something that isn't is. To resist the present. Only suffering can come from that.

When I first started my career, I had lots of desires. All egotistical. I thought they gave me the drive to strive further and reach higher, until I realise that ambition was simply holding me back.

It was only after I cast off my ambitions that I was free to achieve everything I ever conceived and more.

Some people try to use others' ambitions as a means of control. The carrot - a much more dangerous and sinister weapon than the stick.

What if carrots have no effect? What if you have neither desire nor ambition? Try it. You shed a lot of bullshit and you can finally do stuff you want to do.

I have seen many good people fall to desire, to ambition. Purely egotistical, it impeded their being so badly that they become husks, shadows. Goals are lost simply because desire must be fed with even more desire.

Ultimately, desire and ambition are neither bad nor good. They are simply elements and we who wield it are responsible. We are always responsible, for we lead these things, use them and then eventually blame them for everything.

I believe that we are all responsible for any state we are in because we chose to be in that state.

A lot of people fail to face themselves or their deeds, and their own responsibilities, because it is much easier to complain and to blame.

Accept this yoke, and be free.

The Creative Process

Coming back from a drink with one of my few friends who are equally exposed to radioactive science fiction growing up, I was going to write about the commedia dell'arte and its influence on modern day comic books, perhaps segueing into creating a comic book version of the commedia dell'arte, but I thought, no.

So I decided to write on how credit cards are evil, evil things as well as my own story getting out of debt. But, no.

So maybe I'd write about how politicians are stupid and how stupid works for you stupid people, but, then again, no.

So then I thought maybe I'd write about how epic my dump was and my high-fibre diet is creating really enjoyable dumps that are epic and should be turned into legendary hossanas, but, then, no.

And so on.

Stories I May Never Write

Long before I was a writer, I had ideas for stories. Some of these, haunt me to this day, like just now, as I lay my body on my bed, I couldn't stop thinking of all the cartoons I was going to do, when I was 19.

There was an idea for a cartoon, there is an idea, which I have kept with me for years, and I never got to do it. If I die, I guess at least the story will be here.

This is a cartoon, because it can only be a cartoon. It cannot be anything else.

It started off with an image of an old man, scarred, on a horse, on top of a hill, overlooking an ancient city. Ships approach from the horizon, bearing the Portuguese flag.

Flashback 50 years ago, and there was a huge commotion as people of an alternate reality island in the middle of the Straits of Malacca rush to the palace bringing news of the arrival of a huge army from the empire of Majapahit.

Also arriving, unnoticed by almost everyone, are two companions from their lengthy travels. The duo have arrived home after leaving for so long.

They follow the commotion to the palace, where the Prime Minister is tasked by the King to go and find out what the Majapahit want. He starts by enlisting conscripts to his makeshift army. The duo joins, as well as five other young people of their age. These will be the seven companions.

The army marches, 10,000-strong, as part of a gunboat diplomacy tactic, to face the approaching Majapahit army.

In the night, as they set camp, 90 per cent of their fighting fore deserts them, as this was a ploy by the corrupt ministers in the palace in cahoots with the invaders, to kill the Prime Minister and get rid of the King.

With only 1,000 men, facing 20,000 of Majapahit's best, the Prime Minister looks to be in trouble. However, the duo come up with plans of diversion and tactics gleaned from travelling to such places as China, Japan, Saudi Arabia, etc, plus the individual skills of the seven companions, they fought a winning battle the next day, managing to scatter the Majapahit formation and elephant armies enough to escape back to the palace and saving the Prime Minister's life.

The seven are awarded positions and titles, and after this, go their separate ways, following their own agendas in the political labyrinth that is the palace and the kingdom.

Each new arc would explore each character's past history and introduce another character/tale from the rich vein of folklore in this region. It is to create a universe where all the legends can interact, as well as explore the meanings of dreams and life's goals.

This universe is filled with elephant cavalries facing teams of were-tigers. Shamans can summon armies of imps and ghosts, while people who control flying machetes fight invincible men. All the stories you have ever heard, is true.

Throw in classic scientific discoveries and classic battles relived on that small island as the kingdom fends off ancient empires at the time. Strategies employed by Sun-Tzu and Muhammad face off against Tokugawa's backhanded politics and betrayals.

Imagine a 15-year-old boy jumping up and slicing a fanged giant in two with an over-compensating dull giant blade. One of the shady characters using the keris to pierce and inject poison in rapid machine-gun-like attacks.

Valor, loyalty, and ultimately, betrayal as the draws to its final, shocking conclusion.

Ah...

It would have been great.

But it will never happen.

Oh well. Time to try and sleep again. And maybe dream of it.

Vagabond: Training

I work with a lot of young people nowadays and ever since my lecturing gigs since two years ago, I have been more conscious of the best ways to pass on some skills.

I was very, very lucky. I had the opportunity to learn from the greats of our profession. Renegades, rebels and reniuses.

I had learned, earlier on, that in Japan, the craftsmen, the artisans, they learn or acquire new skills by closely following masters at their craft. This applies to cooks, comics artists, blacksmiths, etc. These are things they do not teach you in class - any class.

And so, for a long time, I studied them. No one person is perfect, so you try as best you can to get their best techniques. Before that, though, you must appreciate their own skills. You cannot learn from people whose skills you do not know, or do not want.

Writing can't be taught, which is both true and false.

The second thing, which is a more important matter, is one of attitude. In Avatar, Neytiri's mother said, "It is hard to fill a cup that is already full." If you are convinced that you know everything already, there is no point of learning anymore. Go and write your Nobel Literary Prize winning novel and give the world the finger.

The best writers, change over time. Neil Gaiman's prose have changed since I first read him, 17 years ago. Grant Morrison's writing has also evolved. The Invisibles was a verbose treatise on existentialism and spirituality while We3 is a minimalist tale of simple family bonds and primal relationships. He achieved this shift in four short years.

Your skills must evolve, must change, or you die as a writer. Writing is war, my friend.

Of course, Alan Moore never changes, but he is the Eldritch Elder God of Writing. And He Shall Come in the Night from the East and You Shall Not Know Him.

You acquire new skills by the simple act of observation, and you will do this, in silent humility and openness. Not in awe, for masters also make mistakes and no skill is perfect, but in presence.

Steal the skills. Learn them. And grow.

What works for me these days is simply to read. I read, and I imagine what goes on in the writer's head as he writes what he wrote. There are matters of structure, allegory and flow. When I write, I try and imagine myself as the reader. Would I be even slightly interested in the article that I am writing?

If not, I prefer to be paid handsomely, as I am a handsome man.

The Violence Has Started at Occupy Wall Street

For YEARS, I have said that there is no racism, or a war because of religion. I have always believed that at the end of the day, it is a question of how long the poor will allow the rich to rape them in the ass.

Today, I got these images concerning the Occupy Wall Street movement and the cops moving in to fuck them up. Is this Kent State all over again? Will Occupy Wall Street turn from a stupid hipster bullshit, into a bona fide Financial Liberties movement?

Time will tell. For now:







All I can say is:

The Dream

I don't really like KL. It's polluted and mean-spirited and much-much too overcrowded and expensive to live in.

I came here because of the job opportunities, in 1998.

Used to be, when I get depressed, I would walk throughout the city, admiring what's there. Nowadays, I don't walk the city anymore. A short walk can leave me coughing as I think of the smoke and dust in the air.

I have a dream of buying a condo by the beach at Cherating, Kuantan, with a private beach and a gym and not 30 minutes from my parents' place.

Prices are lower, and I know more people there. Growth and development has been good to provide all the necessities and wants of a modern life, while retaining the wide green spaces of the land.

Kuantan recently won an award as the third most liveable place in the WORLD, as determined by the UN.

All these things is why I have seen and met many white people on the beaches. Some of them wear the sarong and can speak Malay after only an eight-month stay.

For all you breeders, there is an international school there, somewhere. And one of Pahang's top high schools - SMART.

I think there are at least three colleges there and business opportunities include agriculture, port stuff (import-export) and factories (DRB-HICOM assembling Mercedes cars in Pekan and factories and refineries in nearby Muadzam Shah).

There are quarries, palm oil refineries and numerous plots of land primed for agriculture right there in Kuantan.

I believe that Kuantan is definitely an alternative place to do business other than KL. It still has huge stretches of land and opportunities to establish long-term industries and businesses.

The Iskandar Development Region in Johor is definitely a growing opportunity, and Penang says they are fucking developed and shit. Hell, even Selangor touted itself as the country's most developed state.

I think that there is a need to boost the East Coast and East Malaysia. There is huge potential in Sabah and Sarawak as well.

Fuck, man. Hey, Government! Yo! Go and pour 30 billion on the East Coast, yo! I wanna see my hometown grow, healthily.

Great Tools for Great Men

This, my friends and dear readers, is the Scotch Brite Heavy Duty Scrub Sponge. This is the greatest and best thing to scrub your pots, pans and plates, glasses, even the kitchen sink.

I have tried many brands, and first encountered this when I was staying at a friend's house. Didn't think much of it at the time, but when I moved to my own place, I must say this Heavy Duty Scrub Sponge is not to be trifled with.

It has a green scrub side and a yellow sponge layer. The green, I use to scrub my pots. Very resilient and very effective. High quality stuff, this. The other side, is fantastic for wiping and washing dishes and smooth surfaces.

The yellow sponge side is a bit strange for sponges. The way it is constructed and the materials used means that it does not trap any food and stay clean all the time with no rotting meat or rice after a few days.

The great thing about it is, while other sponges and scrubs get destroyed and grimy after a good scrubbing - some even become balls of sponge and greenish material - mine has survived more than three months of intense scrubbing. This is definitely the Ferrari of scrub sponges.



And this, also something I first encountered at my friend's place, is the Mr Muscle Kitchen Cleaner. It will clean EVERY FUCKING THING in the kitchen.

I have used it to clean counter-tops, stubborn stains on dishes (tumeric and curry on PLASTIC) as well as grime on one pot after rigorous frying of beef. The beef stain is like charred whatever, and after scrubbing for a while with the Scotch Brite, I sprayed it with the Mr Muscle Kitchen Cleaner and left it for a minute. When I went back, it came off easily! Fantastic stuff!

These two are fucking great! Just fucking fantastic.

Happy Feet 2 and Other Reviews

Entertaining, but the first one better. So many good and great things, but it doesn't gel.

Krill scenes brilliant, but seems like clips from other movies.

Mumble is not desperate enough. His kid Eric is irritating. If I hadn't watched the first movie, I would not have cared at all for any of the characters.

Now need to lie down and regenerate brain cells. Can't write shit after watching Breaking Dawn yesterday. Twilight sucks ass. As usual.

Meanwhile, on TV, Glee sucks balls. I don't care about the characters anymore and now, I don't even give a shit about the songs.

House is boring. Fringe is stupid. Thundercats 2011 sucks. Homeland sucks. True Blood sucks except for the fucking scenes.

Terra Nova is white noise. Ringer is bloody fucking stupid.

Downton Abbey is perhaps the only series worth watching now. After Lost and Boston Legal are gone, TV sucks a big black dick.

Futurama is good, but has ended for the season. South Park is okay. Robot Chicken is not done fast enough.

Oh well, there's always sleep.

Vagabond: The Journey Continues

Today, I came in at 9am, finished a market research thing, went to four and a half meetings, had lunch with a colleague, then stayed on till 12.30am finishing some stuff up.

I completed all tasks, and finally saw the schedule for the next few months. All I can do is quote Neil Gaiman: "The destination is often a surprise to the destined."

With my job and all, I can't take on an offer to travel the region I had, but I guess I will be travelling anyway.

I've been planning a tour of the country, to 'walk the earth' for some time now and I might get to do just that.

I don't know where I'll be tomorrow or the day after. Nobody knows what tomorrow holds. But I do have a schedule, a calendar, and there are multi-coloured tags on them.

For now, I'm glad to be home, near my bed with the full-latex mattress, and to be free.

Fuck all you who doubt me. Suck my dick while I'm pissin'.

400 Per Cent

Somebody once told me that I was too fucking intense. I made some people cry, and when I found out, I asked, "What's wrong?"

The person said, "I'm too tired."

So I said, "Well, maybe you could grab a candy bar. Snickers always does the trick, though I do prefer the taste of Butterfingers. I think you may have low-blood sugar level."

I have a strong flavour. A strong presence, so I keep it locked down cause the world is made of cardboard.

However, this is arrogance. This is just me thinking I'm better than everyone else.

Truth be told, at my most obnoxious, I have pissed off so many people. I pissed off, at one time, a PM's Press secretary, who had a gun. He eyeballed me like shit cause I went to an event in cargo pants and a torn t-shirt.

I pissed of terrorists (PIS-M), I pissed off gay people, I pissed off upstanding bullshit hypocrites of society. I pissed off people who deserve to get pissed on, and I pissed off people who didn't deserve it.

In my second assignment ever, I pissed off Ian Wright, and he kicked my ass. Literally.

I pissed off Raja Petra when I called him out on his promise to die. I pissed off Anwar Ibrahim until he blocked me on Twitter. I was asking him about phantom voters on his own constituency.

I pissed off people so much, they called my former bosses. At least three times. For different things.

And you know what? I'm surprised I'm still alive. I'm still standing here saying fuck the free world.

My editors who trained me, they pissed off Prime Ministers, Sub-Prime Ministers, Ministers, gangsters - they received clear threats (I only received threats from pussies). One of my bosses, one night, tried to pick a fight with an entire police station.

What I'm trying to say is, fuck that shit. Fuck all this thin masks of civility. You want things done, you got to break some cardboard boxes. And burn them.

I once helped conceptualise and execute a TV show in three days. Three days. There were three of us, and we did it while giggling like schoolgirls. That show went on to be one of the best performing shows on that channel that year.

My team at Astro, we did 3800 hours of TV shows one year. That's THREE. THOUSAND. AND EIGHT HUNDRED. HOURS. Anyone from the team, whether you love me or hate me, stand up and be proud.

With a skeleton crew at The Malay Mail, because skeleton crews are all The Malay Mail ever had, we did the jobs of hundreds. Maybe thousands. In Hulu Selangor by election, one newspaper sent 11 photographers and 11 journalists. Another sent 11 journalists and photographers. The Malay Mail? We sent 2.

My team of 6 writers at The Malay Mail entertainment desk filled in the same number of pages as a team of 17. Previously, I was a member of the team at The Malay Mail who worked at least 12 hours a day and churned out stories for 16 pages a day, every single fucking day of the week, 365 days a year.

I went to every single assignment my editor told me to go to, no matter how stupid it seemed. Because no story is stupid. With proper research, writing and editing, any story can be great.

I did movies that won awards, and some of them, kids still come up to me and tell me how they enjoyed them, which is the highest praise.

One of my articles was laminated and hung at Bukit Bintang because I wrote a drag queen show review as if it was the Miss Malaysia pageant. Highest acclaim as a writer.

And you know what, I still remember what my first editor told me, as she handed me a copy of the first story I ever got published in the newspaper.

"You started out writing cover stories. Never go down from there."

From that day, I treated every single story and every single task as if it was a cover story. I don't care where it gets published. When you read it or watch it or experience it, BAM!

The only times - and there were many of these - that anything I worked on suffered, is when I stop to listen to other people. Fuck other people.

It doesn't matter what other people think because I AM THE 400 PER CENT. I can't keep my head down. I'll go out blazing, whichever way that may be. Cause that's how I fucking roll.

And one of these days, if you fucking pussies ever, EVER, get the balls to finally come and kill me, please do. Because I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Fuck your mother.

The M Trilogy

Tonight, Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa grabbed the Best Film award, amongst a bunch of other gongs at the 24th Malaysian Film Festival. I think the movie won close to 10 or something. I wasn't counting.

This is the second year running that KRU movie projects won big. Last year, Magika won Best Film and MySpy won Best Comedy, amongst other accolades.

Meanwhile, earlier this month - or was it last month? - Magika won, beating Merong, at the Anugerah Skrin.

I played my part in these projects - I wrote the scripts - and I am very happy that the overall strength of the team, the team's work and the teamwork managed to carry the story and cover most of my own shortcomings as a newcomer in the industry.

When Norman KRU asked me to write MySpy - my first and still favourite movie - I thought, "Okay. This will be an adventure."

I did not know that it would be a few years of being nervous and scared to death on most nights. The wins in the past two years were just a good ending to the M trilogy of films - MySpy, Magika and Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa.

There are a couple more films yet to be released by KRU, and I hope to - in the future - get my own stories released.

I did not do these things to win awards (except the Academy Award, which remains an elusive dream) - and truth be told, have never won one personally - rather to see and experience what it would take to write movies. The fact that the films won numerous awards I think is just a bonus to the team. I am just happy to be there for the ride. Thanks to all who helped. Cast, crew and KRU. I'm happy for everyone.

Well, the highlight of the night is done. Time for me to finish some work and go to sleep. I sleep early these days, as my job requires me to come in the morning.

I am still buzzing and can now close this chapter of my life with a smile. The M trilogy is complete, and I believe the stories are done. Cheers!

UPDATE: Magika won seven awards last year. Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa won eight.

The Pulpit

I got to deliver a talk to young journalists today, and I managed to sneak in a sliver of of 'everything about me' shit.

I'll tell you this - I am not sure what kind of job or position you can classify me in these days, but I believe the skills I have learned in journalism will always be useful.

I told the kids, I wanted to be a journalist for two reasons:

1. I wanted to be a comic book writer. Long story.

2. I believe that journalism is the last of the romantic disciplines. Not romantic as in, "Let's jump into this icy water and die together, Jack" or, "I'm not jumping, Robert, so fuck you and your alternative lifestyle."

Romantic as in the ideals of romanticism. Because really, at its very core, journalism is about the quest for truth, and there is nothing more romantic or idealistic than that.

And I have spoken, yelled, taunted and cajoled journalists for some years, to fucking drop the content and go for user experience.

I have been doing it for so long, that I believe the world has moved on. People KNOW about the idea already and have embraced it. There are so many social media shit flying around that my ideas are no longer novel or revolutionary. In essence, I wanted to do a Huffington Post, but Huffington Post did it first, so I am stuck with my dick out.

I believe in cycles. The Hindus call it yugas. I think that hardcore content might be making a comeback and for the Internet to behave as one of its primal, basic functions - that of being a true medium.

Users have experienced the thing. So the next step is unfeeling it. Internet will be made seamless and a part of life, ubiquitous and invisible. I believe that is the direction we are heading, what with the next generation being more comfortable with structure and rules than my own generation.

Religion is making a comeback on the young in a big way. The heathens and atheists who defined my era will soon come face to face with evangelical young people.

Structure, form will be paramount in the next few decades, as younger people take control of the world. Chaos is nearing its end and order will come to replace it. It is a cycle that is as inevitable as the spin of the earth causing the transition between day and night.

It is up to these youngsters, in the future, to shape the world we live in. My thoughts right now are of how to retire gracefully, and to be forgotten, for mine was a path of destruction.

And bla bla bla.

I had a good, full day. I did many things - most of them I enjoyed. And I am merely capping it off with the one thing I enjoy the most - writing. And sleeping.

See you after the breach.