Thursday, September 4, 2014

Quit Playing Games With My Heart Part 1

Hello. I just got back from the hospital. Got discharged, really. Because on Aug 29, I had a massive  heart attack.

I'm still a bit tired from the ordeal, but I'll start the documentation process on what happened and what I experienced.

It was a rather normal Friday afternoon. I went to Berjaya Restaurant and had my usual daging dendeng, fried lungs and double veggies. I smoked almost 10 sticks as I finished three drinks. All the while, making fun of PKR poseurs with one hand.

Then I went home.

I was sitting on this very chair when suddenly it felt like Triple H burst into my room, produced a sledge hammer, handed it over to Brock Lesnar who then immediately started hitting my chest with it, in slow motion.

All the while both Triple H and Brock Lesnar singing that annoying 1996 Backstreet Boy hit Quit Playing Games (With My Heart), while my heart was really in this intense, gripping pain.

In my head, there were only three possibilities:

1. Heart burn - most plausible
2. Heart attack - at 34? I don't think so.
3. Some weird form of food poisoning

I was so confused and so in pain - and Brock Lesnar and Triple H were still singing that song - that I decided to take a shower.

I reasoned that if I were to burst through the emergency room doors and dramatically claim to have a heart attack when in reality, I was suffering from heartburn, at least I'd smell nice. Up to that point, around 4pm, I did not have a shower yet. While taking the shower, I puked three times from the pain.

So, with a semi-wet body, in my best t-shirt and shorts, I decided to go to the ground floor of my apartment and fling myself on to the nearest neighbour who would give a damn.

That man happened to be Richard Gardner, of Gardner and Wife fame. He immediately invited me to his car and also offered me the use of his mobile.

I dialled my sister's phone number and said,

"I am in a car driven by Richard Gardner of Gardner and Wife. This is his phone I'm using. I believe I have heartburn and I am on my way to the hospital. "

I apologised profusely to Richard for being in such a state and he also apologised for the state of the traffic on a Friday evening, which to be fair was none of his fault. I began to feel a numbing in my left shoulder and arm, which is indicative of a cardiac arrest.

The good man dropped me off at the emergency entrance of Universiti Malaya Medical Center. Less than 10 seconds later, I was on a gurney, wheeled in with a rotating cast of characters asking me the same questions over and over again..

Man, I'm tired. I'll continue later tonight. But I'll spoil the ending - I'm still alive, and PKR can suck it.