To me, every Raya is like the Thanksgiving I see Americans celebrate on TV.
I go back to my hometown, battle-ready to fight my family members over bullshit, and then get really happy when I get back to KL, to live in solitude.
This year, I want to focus on the more positive aspects of Raya and Thanksgiving. So here goes.
1. I am thankful that I was born with a dick and a sack of balls. Women have it rough. Some like it that way, so fuck them. Like, literally.
2. I am thankful for idiots. Without them, I wouldn't be able to make money or look good or fuck a girl. Thank you for being there when I was at my worst because you idiots suck way more than I do.
3. I am thankful for all the shitty things people do to me. These gifts of betrayal and bullshit have given me the opportunity and guilt-free moral authority to exact revenge in ever more creative ways.
4. I am thankful for my insomnia from 2008-10 that has spurred my most productive era ever.
5. I am thankful for all the bad mistakes I did when I was younger cause I couldn't get away with doing them now, when I'm older and have no excuse.
6. I am thankful for not giving a damn about anything. This is the root of all freedom.
7. I am thankful for all the ugly girls because they make Thailand so much sweeter.
8. I am thankful for all the judgments thrown my way by stupid fucking monkeys.
9. I am thankful that stupid politicians rule over us. Imagine if they're smart. They'd rule over us for decades and steal all our money.
10. I am thankful for YOU cause you suck my dick every day.