Thursday, August 7, 2008

Debating Techniques: The Perfect Response

Fuck Eckhart Tolle and his 'Is that so?' bullshit.

The best retort, the best response for anything and everything people throw your way is: KEMBAAAAAAAANG CIPAP AKU MENDENGARNYA.

Imagine this - Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim Vs Datuk Shabery Cheek

Shabery: When you were Finance Minister...

DSAI: KEMBAAAAAAAANG CIPAP AKU MENDENGARNYA.

S: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

And yesterday, I was stopped by the Pole-lease.

Pole-lease: Saya saman ya, encik?

Me: Hmh.

P: Saya saman ni...

Me: KEMBAAAAAAAANG CIPAP AKU MENDENGARNYA.

P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Me Vs Racist motherfuckers:

Racist: You are a racialist! Because you are a Malay!

Racist2: You are....so racist....because....you...are...a...not-Malay!

Me: KEMBAAAAAAAANG CIPAP AKU MENDENGARNYA.

Racist: ARGH! Cough blood oredi.

Racist 2: Nodus limfa akuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Me Vs Retard

Retard: Have you fucked the letter oredi?

Me: I'm...sorry?

R: Have you fucked the letter oredi?

Me: Fucked? Wut?

R:(points at fax machine) The fuck machine. Have you fucked it?

Me: ...

R: So, you fucked it?

Me: KEMBAAAAAAAANG CIPAP AKU MENDENGARNYA.

Me Vs Random Dude

RD: I don't care about what people think about me.

Me: Kay.

RD: So what do you think of me?

Me: KEMBAAAAAAAANG CIPAP AKU MENDENGARNYA

Me Vs check-out counter girl.

COCG: Bang, boleh tak tunggu sekejap? Saya tak reti nak tukar gulung resit ni.

Me: KEMBAAAAAAAANG CIPAP AKU MENDENGARNYA.

Alex Ferguson Vs Cristiano Ronaldo:

AF: You will NOT leave Manchester United for Real madrid, and that's final!

CR: KEMBAAAAAAAANG CIPAP AKU MENDENGARNYA.

AF: Eh, yeke?

CR: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

WARNING: Will not work on fags.