Caption: PICTURE IS UNRELATED
As a Founding Father of the United States of America (I believe they call me John Quincy Adams or Quincy Jones over there), I often wonder about Malaysia. Some people believe that the future would be religion, that there is no other way for political parties to go other than converge on the same point, or facilitate a warring period so that a single, dominant culture emerges.
The problem is that Malaysia is unique. 60% are bumiputras - a small majority, if you could believe that term, which is further divided into smaller sections, groups and sub-groups. Bumiputras are basically Han Chinese on a smaller scale. The whole nation does not speak a single language properly - not like the Indonesians - we learn different things in different school systems, we eat, talk differently. And we're not as all-embracing as Canadians.
We are too far divided as a people and a nation to be a single, cohesive unit. Something has got to give and one of the things that could be a solution is violence. Lots of it. To avert this violence, I would like to advocate interracial fucking, a theory I revisit in order to save all of humanity.
The late Yasmin Ahmad said that we cannot hate anyone whose race we had sex with. Or any race of which a member of we had sex with. The wording is a bit difficult, so I will simplify - if you fuck someone, you will not be able to hate his or her race. Because at some point, you loved that race by banging his or her privates.
I believe this solution - love, instead of violence - is the way forward. By promoting interracial fucking, we will create the next step in human evolution - ME. I am the product of interracial fucking and look how I turned out - handsome, extremely intelligent and am in fact the greatest mind of the 21st Century.
Having mixed genes means I am more resilient to disease, a fact proven by science. I think.
Interracial fucking also has socio-economic benefits. If we start interracially fucking each other from today, every day, by 2023, we would have created a society of 98% Bumiputeras and 2% racists. All of us will speak the same language, follow the same religion and practice the same culture - as defined by the Constitution.
Everyone will enjoy the same rights as Bumiputeras and there will be no more disputes over anything. It will be a utopian society unprecedented by human history.
Since all Bumiputeras are millionaires because of special bumi rights, everyone in Malaysia will be millionaires by 2023.
Peace. Money. And lots of sex. These are three things promised by interracial fucking. I believe it is a sustainable solution that could pave way for Malaysia to overtake China in a long-term race to the finish line - Armageddon.
