Thursday, September 6, 2012

Boron(World's Most Boring Man): The Dork Knight Rises

So I started today at the office, wearing baju Melayu because I was going to the company's group open house.

Lots of people said I have lost weight, but in my mind I was thinking of only two things:

1. You haven't seen me naked yet.

2. I have only lost 15kg. Wait till I lose a full 40kg. With this handsome face on an underwear model's body, I'll fuck half of KL.

Yesterday, I weighed myself at the gym before and after workouts and I found some interesting results. After my workout session, I lost a full 2kg. This means that the water, salt and fat I lost in sweat alone was 2kg. After I had a drink of water, I gained back a hundred grams or so.

This points to either pre-menstrual shit, which I don't have, or because of my sodium intake. See, when you have extra salt in your body, the system would retain water just to balance things out.

A quick search shows that drinking even more water and taking foods that are diuretic (makes you pee) will help.

Melons and oranges will help, as do cucumber, lettuce, celery, peppers, onions and carrots. I've been taking all these, but I guess I need to step it up.

With 15kg weight loss, I have broken my record a few years ago when I lost 12kg. I stopped being on my programme because I fell into a deep depression and it took years to get my mind back on track. This time, I don't plan on letting go of anything I have done. I'm going all the way, so fuck all who doubted me. And still doubt me.

Last time I went on a diet, quite a few people tried to sabotage it as soon as I showed some results. They failed to have any impact - it was just my general state of mind that got to me.

I'm not worried about them. I mean, fuck other people. Figuratively and literally. I'm planning my next steps properly.

I think I'll buy more oats this weekend and store them at the office. I might just buy lots of vegetable dishes and eat that with oats, along with some protein for lunch.

Meat, being high in protein, also makes you have albumin, which helps in releasing water. I might stake out a place to have sauna as well.

Will stock up on lettuce and force more psyllium down my throat.

I also need to step up my gym sessions. I've already increased the resistance up to seven levels higher for my cardio and would need to plan for muscle-building by end of the year.

It pleases me to see I could now walk under the hot mid-day sun and not be out of breath after a few hundred metres. My breathing - the core of my kung fu - is also regulated and easier to control. Now, with simple breathing techniques, I can get myself to sweat or calm my heartbeats. And it is done silently. Before this, I was as loud as a motherfucker.

According to some reports, my snoring has also lowered in volume, unless I am tired. I cannot verify, as I don't fancy leaving recording equipment anywhere near my bedroom and would have to rely on testimonials of extremely hot women.

I find that while talking to women, even in air-conditioned places, gets them to strip in front of me. This new body is fucking fantastic!

Diet and exercise, brah! And time. I am on the right path. I just need to keep at it and never give up. As with everything I do. I don't need people to tell me I'm right - I KNOW I'm right. And those who did not listen to me are all dead.

I'm right about everything. I'm so right, even my left hand is a right hand. I got two right feet and my dick curves slightly to the right.

I am so fucking cool.