Saturday, April 11, 2009

Tales from the Drunk Side: Self-Pity

I am wallowing in self-pity.

Woe is me! Woe woe woe woe!

Oooh...odorless vagina!

Wherefor art thou, odorless vagina?

Thou art my dream, my hopes, my aspiration.

And dost thou washes thee lips clean, perchance should I nibble on them awhile.

Thee thy thou thum.

I am the ancient spirit of evil. I am evil. Hellbound. And yet my evil doesn't measure up to Perasan Rakyat.

What's worse than murder? What's worse than rape?


And though I am hellbound. Though I am a creature with no hope of redemption, I never betrayed anyone.

I never did run away from my responsibilities, no matter how much they tried to take advantage of me.

I never cheated. I even took handicaps. Just to make sure an even playing field when I beat their ass.

I have no honour, but I always took care of my integrity.

I never fell.

Ya hear me?

While others did, I never strayed from my aspect. My function.

I have always been what I have always been. No more, no less.

A kid who grew up near the swamps.

I am the great and terrible.

The creator and the destroyer. The devourer of worlds.

I am Gah Lak Tus.