I have, for the past 12 hours, farting like crazy. I believe that my farts can fill an entire room. Which is why I just got back into my hotel room after leaving it for half an hour.
I believe it was a bad shrimp I ate while on my way here. But, my stomach being the tough survivor of many culinary adventures, merely bloated with gas like a corpse rather than fail to function entirely and twisting my abdomen in knots of pain.
I had hoped to write in my room, but may only be able to do so after my intestines are free of gas.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have scripts to write and a lot of methane to release.