Benda paling aku menyampah dalam dunia: Cerita-cerita mangsa.
Mangsa 1: I penatlah, Amir.
Aku: Pukimak mak bapak ko! Ko ingat ko sorang je penat, babi? Habih, aku yang tak tidur sehari seminggu ni apa? Happy? Macibai. Lancau punya pukimakkau.
Mangsa 2: I tak reti la buat benda ni!
Aku: Kalau tak reti tu belajar la, samdol! Woi! Pantat ko tu dah lah bau cam anjing mampus, ada hati nak tenyeh kat muka aku la pulak.
Mangsa 3: Laki I pukul I sampai terberak.
Aku: Sapa suruh kahiwn, sangap? Melayu bodoh!
Mangsa 4: AKu sebenarnya boleh buat benda ni, tapi saja je...taknak. Aku boleh jadi kaya...tapi saja je taknak.
Aku: Bapak ko anjing, mak kau banjingan! Kau diturunkan ke bumi oleh Tuhan sebagai hukuman kepada manusia.
Mangsa 5: Aku tengah tunggu orang call aku, pasal aku malas nak angkat telefon, takut kena jerit.
Aku: Pantat mak kau ada kuasa tolakan elektron! Kalau takut, jangan duduk dengan orang! Pergi duduk dengan beruk! Tengok kena rogol ke tak.
Aku menyampah gila. Mangsa-mangsa yang hanya tau nak jadi mangsa je. Semua bukan salah diorang. Semua salah orang lain. Pukimak mak kau la.
Mangsa-mangsa ni biasanya cuba untuk gunakan cerita mangsa diorang untuk dapatkan kelebihan. Nak tagih simpati. Nak konek. Nak bagi orang sokong diorang dalam permainan yang hanya ada dalam kepala hotak diorang je.
Ko ingat aku nak simpati dengan cerita mangsa ko? Pergilah mampus. Kalau semua mangsa dalam dunia ni mampus, aku buat kenduri makan babi panggang sekor.
Kalau ada orang cuba mangsakan ko, lawan balik. Aku masih lagi simpan dendam dengan nurse gigi yang datang ke sekolah aku masa umur aku 8 tahun. Dah 20 tahun aku simpan dendam ni. Bila aku dah berupaya nanti, aku akan tangkap dia, lepas tu drill lubang kat kepala hotak dia.
Pukimak punya nurse gigi. Dahlah bodoh, nurse gigi pulak tu. Dia mesti ada anak, pasal dia Melayu. Aku akan tangkap anak dia, lepas tu kerat tangan budak tu depan dia, pakai drill gigi.
Lancau punya nurse gigi.
Lagi satu, mamat-mamat yang cakap bapak aku makan rasuah. AKu tunggu je mamat tu mampus. Lepas tu aku nak kencing atas kubur dia. Lepas tu, aku nak gali, tanamkan babi sama dengan dia, masukkan konek babi dalam jubur dia. Lepas tu panggil Mastika atau Variasari.
"Mayat Pak Imam Kena Rogol Dengan Babi Dalam Kubur" headline dia.
"Babi Memasukkan Zakar ke Dalam Dubur Imam"
"Zakar Dalam Dubur, Dalam Kubur"
Gila sensasi.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Man of Tomorrow: The Yahweh Dance
And so I, Underwear-Model_man, floated in the nothingness.
And I was bored. So I decided to create a world.
I shat somewhere near a star and a world was born. the seeds of plants I ate began to take root and animals ran atop the hard piece of shit, eating the leaves of plants. Or each other.
I took some stardust and breathed life into them, and placed them on the world. And so man and woman was created.
Under my shadow, they prospered. Under my shadow, they were safe. I fought deadly beasts of nothingness and made sure their crops received enough starlight.
And then they sacrificed virgins for me. Though they were not virgins. Not really.
Virgin1: I let boys fuck me in the ass, to ensure that my maidenhead remains true.
Virgin2: I wore the tudung, even while fucking, even while aborting my fifth. I wore the tudung, so I am a virgin still.
But I did not complain. There are no such thing as virgins. Not today, not tomorrow. Not in this world.
And everything was fine.
Until one day, one of them asked me, "O Lord, who are you?"
And I told them, "I am Underwear-Model-Man - the Man of Tomorrow. I created you."
And I told them of my past. And of my present. And of my future.
And they said, "Oh, you must come and sit and sup with us and tell us stories! We have so many questions!"
And so I did.
I broke bread and shared salt with them. And told stories by the fire.
Until one day, a whole bunch of them seemed to have disappeared.
"Where did the others go, I asked them?"
"Oh, they are building a statue of you, to show how much we appreciate you."
And I let it go.
By nightfall, they took me beneath a cliff. They sat me down there, and I told them stories. And then, I heard an ominous rumble above me. A huge iron nail rolled down the cliff and pierced my back.
The others on the ground waited with anticipation in their eyes.
"What...what is this?"
"Well," said one, "We were certain that you were a star. Stars function with nuclear fission or fusion, as you told us in your stories. And nuclear thingy can be stopped with a big metal thingy, possibly lead or iron, is pushed into it."
"I am not Morningbright," I said. "I am not a star. I am a black hole."
"Oh shit," they said.
"Here, here," said one. "Tell us another story."
"I already told you all that I know," I said.
"Yes, we know," he said. "But we need to keep you feeling useful so we can still use you for our benefits."
"You stab me in the back with a giant iron nail and still you want to manipulate me? I will not even ask why."
"So now what?" asked another.
"Now I shall leave you. But before I do, I will grant you all your wishes. Those with ambition will fulfill it. Those who crave money and wealth will get it. Those who want to breed will breed like no tomorrow. Those who wish to laugh at other people shall laugh at other people till they die."
"But...but...why? When we have wronged you so."
"Because," I said, "This is my curse. 'The price of getting what you want is getting what once you wanted.' Neil gaiman wrote that. So now take it. Have it. Be whatever you want to be. And by morning, I shall be gone from you forever."
And after night is done, I went and flew trillions of light-years away, and I ended up in Phuket.
In the arms of the go-go girls, all shall be forgotten. But never, ever, forgiven.
This too, shall come to pass, because I am Underwear-Model-Man - The Man of Tomorrow!
And I was bored. So I decided to create a world.
I shat somewhere near a star and a world was born. the seeds of plants I ate began to take root and animals ran atop the hard piece of shit, eating the leaves of plants. Or each other.
I took some stardust and breathed life into them, and placed them on the world. And so man and woman was created.
Under my shadow, they prospered. Under my shadow, they were safe. I fought deadly beasts of nothingness and made sure their crops received enough starlight.
And then they sacrificed virgins for me. Though they were not virgins. Not really.
Virgin1: I let boys fuck me in the ass, to ensure that my maidenhead remains true.
Virgin2: I wore the tudung, even while fucking, even while aborting my fifth. I wore the tudung, so I am a virgin still.
But I did not complain. There are no such thing as virgins. Not today, not tomorrow. Not in this world.
And everything was fine.
Until one day, one of them asked me, "O Lord, who are you?"
And I told them, "I am Underwear-Model-Man - the Man of Tomorrow. I created you."
And I told them of my past. And of my present. And of my future.
And they said, "Oh, you must come and sit and sup with us and tell us stories! We have so many questions!"
And so I did.
I broke bread and shared salt with them. And told stories by the fire.
Until one day, a whole bunch of them seemed to have disappeared.
"Where did the others go, I asked them?"
"Oh, they are building a statue of you, to show how much we appreciate you."
And I let it go.
By nightfall, they took me beneath a cliff. They sat me down there, and I told them stories. And then, I heard an ominous rumble above me. A huge iron nail rolled down the cliff and pierced my back.
The others on the ground waited with anticipation in their eyes.
"What...what is this?"
"Well," said one, "We were certain that you were a star. Stars function with nuclear fission or fusion, as you told us in your stories. And nuclear thingy can be stopped with a big metal thingy, possibly lead or iron, is pushed into it."
"I am not Morningbright," I said. "I am not a star. I am a black hole."
"Oh shit," they said.
"Here, here," said one. "Tell us another story."
"I already told you all that I know," I said.
"Yes, we know," he said. "But we need to keep you feeling useful so we can still use you for our benefits."
"You stab me in the back with a giant iron nail and still you want to manipulate me? I will not even ask why."
"So now what?" asked another.
"Now I shall leave you. But before I do, I will grant you all your wishes. Those with ambition will fulfill it. Those who crave money and wealth will get it. Those who want to breed will breed like no tomorrow. Those who wish to laugh at other people shall laugh at other people till they die."
"But...but...why? When we have wronged you so."
"Because," I said, "This is my curse. 'The price of getting what you want is getting what once you wanted.' Neil gaiman wrote that. So now take it. Have it. Be whatever you want to be. And by morning, I shall be gone from you forever."
And after night is done, I went and flew trillions of light-years away, and I ended up in Phuket.
In the arms of the go-go girls, all shall be forgotten. But never, ever, forgiven.
This too, shall come to pass, because I am Underwear-Model-Man - The Man of Tomorrow!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The Man of Tomorrow
So 10 years down the road, I walk up to the bar and, even though my blood is already six parts Dry Vermouth and one part gin, ordered a pint of Shoggoth’s Old Peculiar.
Then the bitches came through the door like there was a park nearby and a walker lost hold of their leashes and they all came in to get a drink.
I watched them through the reflection in the Guiness metal plate behind the bartender.
Bitch number one, a witch, started playing pool. Her face was covered in bruises. All of their faces, in fact.
Bitch number two had to use a cane to walk. Bitch number three wore big sunglasses to hide the purple imprint of a knuckle at the bottom of her left eye. Bitch number four looked helpless and out of place, as always, and she brought kids with her. Seven of them. To a bar.
Then they opened their traps and started yapping.
Bitches: We are all bitches, and we all rejected you 10 years ago. And your curse fell upon us. And we all got what we deserved. Boo fucking hoo.
Me: Boo fucking hoo.
An acknowledgement it was, or an amen.
Bitch one started her solo, while still playing pool.
Bitch 1: My ex-husband ran away with all my money. But not before beating me senseless with a golf club. Then he raped me with a washing machine.
Then bitch number two started to chime in.
Bitch 2: I wanted to save the world, remember? Well, the world gave me THIS.
And she held out her lame leg.
Bitch 2: My boyfriend ran over it. With a fucking BMW he got from old mumsy. Six times he drove over it, and then backed up again.
Bitch 3: What about me? I got beat up for 10 years and he pierced my clit with a tyre iron.
Bitch 4: Through all my attempted manipulations, my faggot husband left me for a guy and left me with seven kids to feed. As well as AIDS and cancer.
I had enough.
I went out, took off my clothes, and showed them what I really am. What I have become.
Me: Behold! Underwear-Model-Man!
And the bitches all sighed and moaned. And started masturbating.
Bitches: Oh! If only we sucked your dick 10 years ago! Please! Please! Fuck us in the ass!
Me: FUCK OFF AND DIE.
And then I flew to outer space and destroyed the universe. And went on my way to nothingness. For I am Underwear-Model-Man, the Man of Tomorrow!
Then the bitches came through the door like there was a park nearby and a walker lost hold of their leashes and they all came in to get a drink.
I watched them through the reflection in the Guiness metal plate behind the bartender.
Bitch number one, a witch, started playing pool. Her face was covered in bruises. All of their faces, in fact.
Bitch number two had to use a cane to walk. Bitch number three wore big sunglasses to hide the purple imprint of a knuckle at the bottom of her left eye. Bitch number four looked helpless and out of place, as always, and she brought kids with her. Seven of them. To a bar.
Then they opened their traps and started yapping.
Bitches: We are all bitches, and we all rejected you 10 years ago. And your curse fell upon us. And we all got what we deserved. Boo fucking hoo.
Me: Boo fucking hoo.
An acknowledgement it was, or an amen.
Bitch one started her solo, while still playing pool.
Bitch 1: My ex-husband ran away with all my money. But not before beating me senseless with a golf club. Then he raped me with a washing machine.
Then bitch number two started to chime in.
Bitch 2: I wanted to save the world, remember? Well, the world gave me THIS.
And she held out her lame leg.
Bitch 2: My boyfriend ran over it. With a fucking BMW he got from old mumsy. Six times he drove over it, and then backed up again.
Bitch 3: What about me? I got beat up for 10 years and he pierced my clit with a tyre iron.
Bitch 4: Through all my attempted manipulations, my faggot husband left me for a guy and left me with seven kids to feed. As well as AIDS and cancer.
I had enough.
I went out, took off my clothes, and showed them what I really am. What I have become.
Me: Behold! Underwear-Model-Man!
And the bitches all sighed and moaned. And started masturbating.
Bitches: Oh! If only we sucked your dick 10 years ago! Please! Please! Fuck us in the ass!
Me: FUCK OFF AND DIE.
And then I flew to outer space and destroyed the universe. And went on my way to nothingness. For I am Underwear-Model-Man, the Man of Tomorrow!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Semusim di Syurga: Percubaan Untuk Menjadi Yahudi 1
Melayu = bosan.
Melayu = penikam belakang.
Sebenarnya, semua orang pun. Adik-adik, jangan percaya pada sesiapa pun sebab semuanya mahu manipulate, mengawal dan punya cita-cita sendiri.
Kalau kena tikam, bukan salah orang lain. Salah kau. Pasal ko deal dengan monyet.
Oleh itu, aku telah berhenti berusaha jadi Melayu sebab memang dapat F9. Mulai hari ini, aku akan mula jadi Yahudi pulak.
Ajaran pertama: Nasyid Yahudi.
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy!
Mazel Tov, Cocksuckers!
Permainan tradisional Yahudi:
1. Dreidel (gasing)
2. Pedajal Palestin
3. Manage Chelsea
Hobi Yahudi:
1. Buat Filem
2. Pedajal Palestin
Melayu = penikam belakang.
Sebenarnya, semua orang pun. Adik-adik, jangan percaya pada sesiapa pun sebab semuanya mahu manipulate, mengawal dan punya cita-cita sendiri.
Kalau kena tikam, bukan salah orang lain. Salah kau. Pasal ko deal dengan monyet.
Oleh itu, aku telah berhenti berusaha jadi Melayu sebab memang dapat F9. Mulai hari ini, aku akan mula jadi Yahudi pulak.
Ajaran pertama: Nasyid Yahudi.
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Shabat Shalom!
Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy!
Mazel Tov, Cocksuckers!
Permainan tradisional Yahudi:
1. Dreidel (gasing)
2. Pedajal Palestin
3. Manage Chelsea
Hobi Yahudi:
1. Buat Filem
2. Pedajal Palestin
Monday, April 28, 2008
For I Am Your God Now
Absolve, Domine, animas omnium fidelium defunctorum ab omno vinculo delictorum et gratia tua illis succurente mereantur evadere judicium ultionis
Spirit of Vengeance
Lots of people told me not to go down this path.
But it is time. I can no longer hold myself from becoming my true aspect. I will have my REVENGE!
Even if it takes me the rest of my life. Even if I have to let go and destroy everything. Even if I have to defy Gods and monsters. Even if I have to use any and all dirty tricks in the book.
I will become the Spirit of Vengeance. And all who have wronged me shall pay the price.
But it is time. I can no longer hold myself from becoming my true aspect. I will have my REVENGE!
Even if it takes me the rest of my life. Even if I have to let go and destroy everything. Even if I have to defy Gods and monsters. Even if I have to use any and all dirty tricks in the book.
I will become the Spirit of Vengeance. And all who have wronged me shall pay the price.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Desperate Housewives (of Representatives)
Hishamudin Hussein apologized fo exposing his keris to the world.
Well.
He should have done that months, maybe years ago. Now that the apology came after BN got whipped at the elections, it seems kind of...desperate.
I mean, what the fuck, man? It's just a fucking dagger-class weapon with +12 poison damage and fastest attack speed.
Just stand up and wave that keris aound. I mean, no one made any noise or apologies when a giant golden statue of Murugesan was erected at Batu Caves. Personally, I prefer his brother Ganesh, cause Ganesh is smart.
And not a peep when Jeff Ooi waved his LG Chocolate around. I mean, that LG Chocolate is a fucking weapon of mass boredom. I see it, and I see Jeff Ooi's face. Singing.
What the fuck, man?
And the keris is such an ineffective weapon, Malays actually switched to parangs and spears hundreds of years ago as the weapon of choice.
I inherited a battle spear from my great grandfather. I never had a keris, but I have a spear. It's much more practical as it can kill the enemy at a distance, and being a javelin-class weapon, I can chuck it as far as it can go.
The keris is simply a symbol of a bygone age when star-metal or any sort of metal, was hard to find.
Wave your keris. Who gives a shit. By all means apologize to the idiots who don't even know what the fuck it stands for.
Next UMNO general Assembly, who want to borrow my spear? I can wave my spear around in the halls. And you can touch it for RM400. Maybe give it a little kiss.
Well.
He should have done that months, maybe years ago. Now that the apology came after BN got whipped at the elections, it seems kind of...desperate.
I mean, what the fuck, man? It's just a fucking dagger-class weapon with +12 poison damage and fastest attack speed.
Just stand up and wave that keris aound. I mean, no one made any noise or apologies when a giant golden statue of Murugesan was erected at Batu Caves. Personally, I prefer his brother Ganesh, cause Ganesh is smart.
And not a peep when Jeff Ooi waved his LG Chocolate around. I mean, that LG Chocolate is a fucking weapon of mass boredom. I see it, and I see Jeff Ooi's face. Singing.
What the fuck, man?
And the keris is such an ineffective weapon, Malays actually switched to parangs and spears hundreds of years ago as the weapon of choice.
I inherited a battle spear from my great grandfather. I never had a keris, but I have a spear. It's much more practical as it can kill the enemy at a distance, and being a javelin-class weapon, I can chuck it as far as it can go.
The keris is simply a symbol of a bygone age when star-metal or any sort of metal, was hard to find.
Wave your keris. Who gives a shit. By all means apologize to the idiots who don't even know what the fuck it stands for.
Next UMNO general Assembly, who want to borrow my spear? I can wave my spear around in the halls. And you can touch it for RM400. Maybe give it a little kiss.
Semusim di Syurga: Manipulasi Mentat
Sepanjang hidup aku, ada-ada saja orang yang cuba untuk memanipulasi hidup aku. Ini bukan paranoia. Ini betul-betul punya.
Masa aku kecik, kakak aku dengan mak aku paling suka manipulate aku. Sampai satu tahap bila aku dah besar, dioang ingat diorang masih boleh manipulate aku suruh buat apa-apa. Bila aku confront, semuanya jahanam. Semua penipuan dijahanamkan dan muka penipu sebenar terdedah.
Hari ini, kalau ada sesiapa yang cuba manipulate aku, untuk apa-apa sebab atau justifikasi (aku dah dengar semua - "Untuk kebaikan kau jugak", "aku nak tolong" "bukan untuk aku, untuk KAU!" atau apa-apa jelah) aku akan blah cam tu je.
Aku lebih rela memusnahkan hidup aku dari memberi kawalan ke atasnya pada orang lain.
Pasal aku tak suka. Kalau nak suruh aku buat, atau nak mintak apa-apa, cakap je terang-terang.
Tak payah la nak menggesel kat aku, main tarik-tarik tag aku. Pastu harap aku paham.
Cakap je, "Amir, I nak isap konek you." Susah?
Masa aku kecik, kakak aku dengan mak aku paling suka manipulate aku. Sampai satu tahap bila aku dah besar, dioang ingat diorang masih boleh manipulate aku suruh buat apa-apa. Bila aku confront, semuanya jahanam. Semua penipuan dijahanamkan dan muka penipu sebenar terdedah.
Hari ini, kalau ada sesiapa yang cuba manipulate aku, untuk apa-apa sebab atau justifikasi (aku dah dengar semua - "Untuk kebaikan kau jugak", "aku nak tolong" "bukan untuk aku, untuk KAU!" atau apa-apa jelah) aku akan blah cam tu je.
Aku lebih rela memusnahkan hidup aku dari memberi kawalan ke atasnya pada orang lain.
Pasal aku tak suka. Kalau nak suruh aku buat, atau nak mintak apa-apa, cakap je terang-terang.
Tak payah la nak menggesel kat aku, main tarik-tarik tag aku. Pastu harap aku paham.
Cakap je, "Amir, I nak isap konek you." Susah?
Semusim di Syurga: Makhluk Tuhan Yang Naik Teksi
Aku takde internet. Maxis Broadband yang si Klubbkidd kasi kat aku pinjam dah habis tempoh hayatnya. Sebab si Klubbkidd tak bayar.
Aku offer nak bayarkan. Dia cakap, "Takpelah, dude, biar aku bayarkan. Takdehal punya."
Tapi lepas tu dia tak bayar pulak. Aku tak komplen. Internet free.
Aku biar je. Nak rasa hidup orang susah. Marhaen-marhaen Melayumalas yang hanya mampu menjengok wikipedia dari kafe-kafe siber milik kafir-kafir siber.
Sekarang ni aku kat kafe siber, tengah hantar proposal. Nak ke sini pun kena naik teksi. Pasal aku ialah Makhluk Tuhan Yang Naik Teksi.
Aku kereta pun takde. Moto aku dah hantar balik kampung.
Apa yang aku pelik pasal cybercafe ni ialah butang-butang keyboard dia pelik. Huruf F aku kena tekan dua kali baru keluar. Aku ikir - ha tengok tu! aku nak taip FIKIR - mungkin sebab banyak orang mencarut.
Pengunjung Cybercafe (menaip): Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
PC(M): FU! FU! FU! FU! FU! FU! FU! FU! FU!
Last-last, button F dia jahanam.
Takpun, diorang ni memang bodoh, asyik fail exam je.
PC(M)1: Berapa result SPM you? CUba taip. BM?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: English?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: Pendidikan Islam?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: Matematik Moden?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: Matematik Tambahan?
PC(M)2: Aku bodoh, mana ambik Add Maths!?
PC(M)1: Sorry. Sejarah?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: Ekonomi asas?
PC(M)2: F
Dan begitulah seterusnya.
Aku offer nak bayarkan. Dia cakap, "Takpelah, dude, biar aku bayarkan. Takdehal punya."
Tapi lepas tu dia tak bayar pulak. Aku tak komplen. Internet free.
Aku biar je. Nak rasa hidup orang susah. Marhaen-marhaen Melayumalas yang hanya mampu menjengok wikipedia dari kafe-kafe siber milik kafir-kafir siber.
Sekarang ni aku kat kafe siber, tengah hantar proposal. Nak ke sini pun kena naik teksi. Pasal aku ialah Makhluk Tuhan Yang Naik Teksi.
Aku kereta pun takde. Moto aku dah hantar balik kampung.
Apa yang aku pelik pasal cybercafe ni ialah butang-butang keyboard dia pelik. Huruf F aku kena tekan dua kali baru keluar. Aku ikir - ha tengok tu! aku nak taip FIKIR - mungkin sebab banyak orang mencarut.
Pengunjung Cybercafe (menaip): Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
PC(M): FU! FU! FU! FU! FU! FU! FU! FU! FU!
Last-last, button F dia jahanam.
Takpun, diorang ni memang bodoh, asyik fail exam je.
PC(M)1: Berapa result SPM you? CUba taip. BM?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: English?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: Pendidikan Islam?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: Matematik Moden?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: Matematik Tambahan?
PC(M)2: Aku bodoh, mana ambik Add Maths!?
PC(M)1: Sorry. Sejarah?
PC(M)2: F
PC(M)1: Ekonomi asas?
PC(M)2: F
Dan begitulah seterusnya.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Convenience Guy
I have gone for more than 24 hours without sleep.
Right now, my brain feels like it is wrapped with a warm towel.
My paranoia is itching. I am already thinking that all this work people keep piling on to me, all the cries for help, all the tears, all the drama, fires, crises and whatever else is a chaotic conspiracy to make sure I don't finish my work.
What would you do when it's just you against the whole world? You kick their asses, that's what.
I got to handle a live show at 9.30pm tonight, and then stay for a meeting for next week's content. After that, I need to rush to another meeting at 11pm. After that is over, I have to get back home and finish three proposals and two movies.
Tomorrow, I have to wake up at 8am to let the maid in. Then there's an 11am appointment with the dentist. Then off to work again. I'll only be free after 1am tomorrow.
But SUnday is also full. I can wake up at 12 noon, but I have to do lots of things before my appointment at 7pm and at 9pm.
I can handle all this shit. You know why? Because I am a MACHINE! Man and Machine! Power EXTREME! Machine Man! X-51! Aaron Stack!
Right now, my brain feels like it is wrapped with a warm towel.
My paranoia is itching. I am already thinking that all this work people keep piling on to me, all the cries for help, all the tears, all the drama, fires, crises and whatever else is a chaotic conspiracy to make sure I don't finish my work.
What would you do when it's just you against the whole world? You kick their asses, that's what.
I got to handle a live show at 9.30pm tonight, and then stay for a meeting for next week's content. After that, I need to rush to another meeting at 11pm. After that is over, I have to get back home and finish three proposals and two movies.
Tomorrow, I have to wake up at 8am to let the maid in. Then there's an 11am appointment with the dentist. Then off to work again. I'll only be free after 1am tomorrow.
But SUnday is also full. I can wake up at 12 noon, but I have to do lots of things before my appointment at 7pm and at 9pm.
I can handle all this shit. You know why? Because I am a MACHINE! Man and Machine! Power EXTREME! Machine Man! X-51! Aaron Stack!
Semusim di Syurga: Aku Nak Jadi Robot
Aku nak jadi robot.
Aku macam dah menyampah jadi manusia ni. Aku nak jadi mesin.
Malangnya, dalam kerja aku sekarang, aku wajib menjadi manusia. Kadang-kadang. Aku kena hidup bersama manusia lain. Kena jaga hati. Kena bagi muka. Tak boleh bagi pelempang. Nanti kang ramai la pulak melempang sesuka hati. Silap-silap dengan aku-aku sekali kena lempang.
Tak boleh nak cakap, "Pukimak kau busuk sial, macam bau anjing mampus." Tak boleh nak cakap, "Ko ingat aku tak tau ke ko buat apa dengan pukimak tu?" Memang tak boleh nak pakai ayat ni: "Burit mak hang!"
Atau ayat-ayat ini:
"Aku pedulik hapa anak ko mampos?"
"Ko ingat aku kisah ko bodoh piang lepas tu nak cover pakai lawak terencat?"
"Pantat mak kau!"
"Anak ko mampos ke, menari kat tiang ke, ada kacau bulu bontot aku?"
"Luas dan isipadu pantat mak kau boleh dikira pakai Teorem Pythagoras dan formula pai jay kuasa dua."
"Musnah ke dunia khayalan porno aku kalau kau pergi mampus?"
"Apa, kalau ko salah, aku takleh melancap la ye?"
"Ko nak bernafas? Macamlah penting sangat. Pantat mak kau."
"Woi! Ko drama macam Mis Tres Hermanas ni pun, aku dah lama tutup telinga. Pakai konek aku. Dua-dua belah telinga. Pada masa yang sama. Konek yang sama."
"Ko nak jadi pelacur? Sejuuuuuk pantat mak kau mengandung."
"Ko nak mengumpat? Sama la bau mulut ko tu dengan bau pantat mak kau."
"Pukimak mak kau warna ungu, pasal bapak ko rabun, ada katarak. Dia ingatkan ikan masin kena bawak lari dek kucing."
Bosan seh. Aku nak jadi robot. Robot Tora pun jadilah. Aibo pun takpe. Janji robot. Robot tak mencarut. Robot cuma bunuh orang je.
Aku macam dah menyampah jadi manusia ni. Aku nak jadi mesin.
Malangnya, dalam kerja aku sekarang, aku wajib menjadi manusia. Kadang-kadang. Aku kena hidup bersama manusia lain. Kena jaga hati. Kena bagi muka. Tak boleh bagi pelempang. Nanti kang ramai la pulak melempang sesuka hati. Silap-silap dengan aku-aku sekali kena lempang.
Tak boleh nak cakap, "Pukimak kau busuk sial, macam bau anjing mampus." Tak boleh nak cakap, "Ko ingat aku tak tau ke ko buat apa dengan pukimak tu?" Memang tak boleh nak pakai ayat ni: "Burit mak hang!"
Atau ayat-ayat ini:
"Aku pedulik hapa anak ko mampos?"
"Ko ingat aku kisah ko bodoh piang lepas tu nak cover pakai lawak terencat?"
"Pantat mak kau!"
"Anak ko mampos ke, menari kat tiang ke, ada kacau bulu bontot aku?"
"Luas dan isipadu pantat mak kau boleh dikira pakai Teorem Pythagoras dan formula pai jay kuasa dua."
"Musnah ke dunia khayalan porno aku kalau kau pergi mampus?"
"Apa, kalau ko salah, aku takleh melancap la ye?"
"Ko nak bernafas? Macamlah penting sangat. Pantat mak kau."
"Woi! Ko drama macam Mis Tres Hermanas ni pun, aku dah lama tutup telinga. Pakai konek aku. Dua-dua belah telinga. Pada masa yang sama. Konek yang sama."
"Ko nak jadi pelacur? Sejuuuuuk pantat mak kau mengandung."
"Ko nak mengumpat? Sama la bau mulut ko tu dengan bau pantat mak kau."
"Pukimak mak kau warna ungu, pasal bapak ko rabun, ada katarak. Dia ingatkan ikan masin kena bawak lari dek kucing."
Bosan seh. Aku nak jadi robot. Robot Tora pun jadilah. Aibo pun takpe. Janji robot. Robot tak mencarut. Robot cuma bunuh orang je.
Who the Fuck is Jack McKinney?
Before there was Neil Gaiman, and before there was Alan Moore, I was a fan of Jack McKinney.
He is not a real person, yet he wrote more than 20 books. He is also not a fictional character. Jack McKinney is a composite identity of two authors who wrote the novelisation of Robotech.
Yeah, that's right. Robotech, a cartoon which is also a composite of three different animes - Super Dimension Fortress Macross, Super Dimension Cavalry Southern Cross and Genesis Climber Mospeada. They were brought to North America by Harmony Gold, as envisioned by the late Carl Macek.
These are separate animes with separate storylines. The only thing that connects them together before Harmony Gold went to work at it is the fact that Haruhiko 'HAL' Mikimoto designed all the characters.
And the first character he drew? Lynn Minmei.
ANyway, Jack McKinney, or the two authors, managed to create a mythology as well as a multi-layered tapestry to the novelisation of Robotech. In fact, I enjoy reading the book more, even though I have watched the thing at least three times (I got the DVD set).
I borrowed Battlehymn, the third book in the series, from my school library and didn't return it for eight months.
I read and reread the whole thing and memorized the quotes and the nice, clever little excerpts they put at the beginning of each chapter.
These excerpts are from autobiographies of the characters, news reports, stuff like that. It adds to the mythology of the whole thing.
They got stuff like:
1. Notes on the Run - Basically an autobiography of Rand (Red in Genesis Climber Mospeada).
2. When Evil Had Its Day - A Biography of TR Edwards.
3. Apocrypha, the Book of James - fake post-apocalyptic bible. Let's see if I still remember the verse:
And lo, I saw a winged giant walking among the clouds in the distant skies. Haloed within a globe of radiant glory, his body set to gleaming silver in the sun. Though his hands are raised in supplication, his spirit burned with all the fury of the holy fires. And I say unto you that this is the temple of mankind, risen and returned to do battle with the forces of evil.
And that's from memory, foo!
4. Upwardly Mobile - a bio of Jack Baker.
5. Lots of other stuff.
It's crazy.
McKinney's style has always been rationalizing and justifying the actions done by the characters and the happenings in the series. I thoroughly enjoyed his explanations. EVerything made more sense in the books than in the cartoon series.
Of course, in the anime, you get to see a naked Marlene, and possibly a naked Rook as well. And Lynn Minmei fan service.
Mmmm...
The character I would like to fuck most, though, is Lisa Hayes (Misa Hayase). Yeah, I'd like to fuck her and get her spade-shaped hair-space on her forehead in disarray.
She's a strong older woman, with flaws. FLAWS! Flaws I can exploit! A low self-esteem. A fear of intimacy. FLAWS!
I'll fuck her in the ass and she'll think about it for a year! Rationalizing, justifying.
Next would be Miriya Parino of the Quadrono. Or Miriya Sterling, nee Parino, or simply Miriya Jinias.
Yeah, all that green hair, and that icy demeanour just turns me on. And she's a fucking giant! The biggest boobs ever!
Yeah.
After that, Rook. Then, Claudia Grant. Then, the bridge bunnies - Kim, Vanessa and Sammie.
Then, Dana Sterling.
Anyway, Jack McKinney. Good writer. Even if he didn't exist.
He is not a real person, yet he wrote more than 20 books. He is also not a fictional character. Jack McKinney is a composite identity of two authors who wrote the novelisation of Robotech.
Yeah, that's right. Robotech, a cartoon which is also a composite of three different animes - Super Dimension Fortress Macross, Super Dimension Cavalry Southern Cross and Genesis Climber Mospeada. They were brought to North America by Harmony Gold, as envisioned by the late Carl Macek.
These are separate animes with separate storylines. The only thing that connects them together before Harmony Gold went to work at it is the fact that Haruhiko 'HAL' Mikimoto designed all the characters.
And the first character he drew? Lynn Minmei.
ANyway, Jack McKinney, or the two authors, managed to create a mythology as well as a multi-layered tapestry to the novelisation of Robotech. In fact, I enjoy reading the book more, even though I have watched the thing at least three times (I got the DVD set).
I borrowed Battlehymn, the third book in the series, from my school library and didn't return it for eight months.
I read and reread the whole thing and memorized the quotes and the nice, clever little excerpts they put at the beginning of each chapter.
These excerpts are from autobiographies of the characters, news reports, stuff like that. It adds to the mythology of the whole thing.
They got stuff like:
1. Notes on the Run - Basically an autobiography of Rand (Red in Genesis Climber Mospeada).
2. When Evil Had Its Day - A Biography of TR Edwards.
3. Apocrypha, the Book of James - fake post-apocalyptic bible. Let's see if I still remember the verse:
And lo, I saw a winged giant walking among the clouds in the distant skies. Haloed within a globe of radiant glory, his body set to gleaming silver in the sun. Though his hands are raised in supplication, his spirit burned with all the fury of the holy fires. And I say unto you that this is the temple of mankind, risen and returned to do battle with the forces of evil.
And that's from memory, foo!
4. Upwardly Mobile - a bio of Jack Baker.
5. Lots of other stuff.
It's crazy.
McKinney's style has always been rationalizing and justifying the actions done by the characters and the happenings in the series. I thoroughly enjoyed his explanations. EVerything made more sense in the books than in the cartoon series.
Of course, in the anime, you get to see a naked Marlene, and possibly a naked Rook as well. And Lynn Minmei fan service.
Mmmm...
The character I would like to fuck most, though, is Lisa Hayes (Misa Hayase). Yeah, I'd like to fuck her and get her spade-shaped hair-space on her forehead in disarray.
She's a strong older woman, with flaws. FLAWS! Flaws I can exploit! A low self-esteem. A fear of intimacy. FLAWS!
I'll fuck her in the ass and she'll think about it for a year! Rationalizing, justifying.
Next would be Miriya Parino of the Quadrono. Or Miriya Sterling, nee Parino, or simply Miriya Jinias.
Yeah, all that green hair, and that icy demeanour just turns me on. And she's a fucking giant! The biggest boobs ever!
Yeah.
After that, Rook. Then, Claudia Grant. Then, the bridge bunnies - Kim, Vanessa and Sammie.
Then, Dana Sterling.
Anyway, Jack McKinney. Good writer. Even if he didn't exist.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Semusim di Syurga: Ateis Muzik
Bodoh.
Masa aku di sekolah menengah, aku jumpa ramai budak-budak yang mengikut fahaman muzik yang berbeza.
Ada punk la, grunge la, rock kapak la. Sambil tiup lampu masa form one pun kena ikut rentak ke hapa kejadahnya la. Bebudak form one disuruh menari lagu Feminin la.
Cikgu-cikgu kitorang ajar bahasa pakai lagu. Atau lirik dalam lagu. Suzanne Vega, Phil Collins, Wings, Jamal Abdillah, M Nasir.
Balik ke asrama, sesetengahnya bukak Butterfingers. Pergi gig, lepas tu poyo kerek dengan orang. Maklumlah. Cool dan popular.
Ada yang pakai but, lepas tu taruk tali kasut putih. Konon gila babi kejam bunuh yahudi la, kalau pakai but dengan tali kasut putih.
Aku cuma cakap satu je kat diorang - "Aku rasa satu hari nanti, orang akan ganti agama dengan muzik."
Bayangkan. Amerika Syarikat yang rata-ratanya mendengar boyband diserang oleh Taliban yang dengar lagu death metal.
Israel, peminat Sex Pistols berperang dengan orang Palestin yang suka henjut-henjut kat lagu Black Eyed Peas.
Gila.
Dalam dunia yang semakin didefinisikan oleh citarasa mereka pada muzik, aku pun berfikir, "Apa citarasa muzik aku?"
Satu-satunya kaset yang aku beli semasa zaman remaja aku ialah Saturday Morning Cartoon Time yang menemukan lagu-lagu tema kartun dengan pemuzik handalan zaman itu. Seperti Sublime yang memainkan Hong Kong Phooey, The Ramones dengan versi lagu SPider-Man mereka.
Frente! dengan Open Up Your Heart and Let the Sun Shine In, nyanyian Pebbles, anak Fred Flinstone.
Juliana Hatfield dan sorang lagi minah menyanyikan Josie and the Pussycats, Dave Matthews Band dengan Scooby Dooby Doo.
Selepas masuk UM, aku akan habiskan banyak masa download lagu di Unitele Melaka dan kemudiannya MMU Cyberjaya. Tempat Internet free dan laju, yang biasa aku 'lawat' kononnya untuk berjumpa kawan-kawan lama.
Aku terjumpa Tenacious D, kemudiannya Trey Parker dan Matt Stone dengan lagu parodi mereka dari filem Cannibals the Musical dan Orgazmo serta Baseketball. Ya, BasEketball.
Dan penemuan paling hebat abad ini - Yoko Kanno. Yoko Kanno ialah komposer muzik latar dan lagu tema untuk anime paling hebat dalam dunia. Dia buat Cowboy Bebop punya soundtrack. AKu mendapat pendidikan muzik aku dengan menonton dan mendengar Cowboy Bebop. Dia lanyak jazz, blues, heavy metal, samba, swing, techno, Morroccan, semua masuk satu kartun. Sekali dengar Macam Ricky Lee Jones, dua kali dengar macam setan. Gila! Genius!
Aku sudah mula mencipta citarasa muzik aku sendiri. AKu makin sedar yang ada jenis-jenis lagu yang aku suka dan tak suka.
Malang bagi aku, kalau aku wujud dalam dunia yang menggantikan agama dengan muzik, aku seolah tiada agama, pasal aku tiada genre. Aku adalah ateis muzik.
Muzik yang aku dengar hanyalah runut bunyi dari kartun, siri TV dan filem. Aku kurang suka mendengar muzik yang lain. Lagu Jem and the Holograms pun aku hafal.
Bagi aku, muzik sebegini membawa makna yang lebih, pasal ada jalan cerita yang jelas.
Kemudian, aku mula minat muzikal. Dah kena tuduh gay la pulak.
Kesimpulannya, aku nak start buat kerja dah ni. Ni nak warm-up dulu je. Dah. Pergi mampus.
Masa aku di sekolah menengah, aku jumpa ramai budak-budak yang mengikut fahaman muzik yang berbeza.
Ada punk la, grunge la, rock kapak la. Sambil tiup lampu masa form one pun kena ikut rentak ke hapa kejadahnya la. Bebudak form one disuruh menari lagu Feminin la.
Cikgu-cikgu kitorang ajar bahasa pakai lagu. Atau lirik dalam lagu. Suzanne Vega, Phil Collins, Wings, Jamal Abdillah, M Nasir.
Balik ke asrama, sesetengahnya bukak Butterfingers. Pergi gig, lepas tu poyo kerek dengan orang. Maklumlah. Cool dan popular.
Ada yang pakai but, lepas tu taruk tali kasut putih. Konon gila babi kejam bunuh yahudi la, kalau pakai but dengan tali kasut putih.
Aku cuma cakap satu je kat diorang - "Aku rasa satu hari nanti, orang akan ganti agama dengan muzik."
Bayangkan. Amerika Syarikat yang rata-ratanya mendengar boyband diserang oleh Taliban yang dengar lagu death metal.
Israel, peminat Sex Pistols berperang dengan orang Palestin yang suka henjut-henjut kat lagu Black Eyed Peas.
Gila.
Dalam dunia yang semakin didefinisikan oleh citarasa mereka pada muzik, aku pun berfikir, "Apa citarasa muzik aku?"
Satu-satunya kaset yang aku beli semasa zaman remaja aku ialah Saturday Morning Cartoon Time yang menemukan lagu-lagu tema kartun dengan pemuzik handalan zaman itu. Seperti Sublime yang memainkan Hong Kong Phooey, The Ramones dengan versi lagu SPider-Man mereka.
Frente! dengan Open Up Your Heart and Let the Sun Shine In, nyanyian Pebbles, anak Fred Flinstone.
Juliana Hatfield dan sorang lagi minah menyanyikan Josie and the Pussycats, Dave Matthews Band dengan Scooby Dooby Doo.
Selepas masuk UM, aku akan habiskan banyak masa download lagu di Unitele Melaka dan kemudiannya MMU Cyberjaya. Tempat Internet free dan laju, yang biasa aku 'lawat' kononnya untuk berjumpa kawan-kawan lama.
Aku terjumpa Tenacious D, kemudiannya Trey Parker dan Matt Stone dengan lagu parodi mereka dari filem Cannibals the Musical dan Orgazmo serta Baseketball. Ya, BasEketball.
Dan penemuan paling hebat abad ini - Yoko Kanno. Yoko Kanno ialah komposer muzik latar dan lagu tema untuk anime paling hebat dalam dunia. Dia buat Cowboy Bebop punya soundtrack. AKu mendapat pendidikan muzik aku dengan menonton dan mendengar Cowboy Bebop. Dia lanyak jazz, blues, heavy metal, samba, swing, techno, Morroccan, semua masuk satu kartun. Sekali dengar Macam Ricky Lee Jones, dua kali dengar macam setan. Gila! Genius!
Aku sudah mula mencipta citarasa muzik aku sendiri. AKu makin sedar yang ada jenis-jenis lagu yang aku suka dan tak suka.
Malang bagi aku, kalau aku wujud dalam dunia yang menggantikan agama dengan muzik, aku seolah tiada agama, pasal aku tiada genre. Aku adalah ateis muzik.
Muzik yang aku dengar hanyalah runut bunyi dari kartun, siri TV dan filem. Aku kurang suka mendengar muzik yang lain. Lagu Jem and the Holograms pun aku hafal.
Bagi aku, muzik sebegini membawa makna yang lebih, pasal ada jalan cerita yang jelas.
Kemudian, aku mula minat muzikal. Dah kena tuduh gay la pulak.
Kesimpulannya, aku nak start buat kerja dah ni. Ni nak warm-up dulu je. Dah. Pergi mampus.
Amir Hafizi The Musical Reprise
There was a writer and his dream...
and it is beautifuuuuullll...
(coming soon to an ass near you)
and it is beautifuuuuullll...
(coming soon to an ass near you)
Semusim di Syurga: Rambut Baru Aku Lagi (Atau Betapa Hensemnya Aku)
Hari ni lagi la.
Ada Senior Manager panggil aku. Muka serius. Aku ingat nak cakap pasal pemecatan ke, sistem baru ke, atau apa-apa la yang senior manager selalu cakap.
Senior Manager: Amir! Sini kejap?
Aku: Ya? Apahal, kita kena pecat minah tu!
SM: Tak, You cut your hair?
Aku: (garu kepala dengan lembut supaya tak rosakkan sirip Ultraman) Ha'ah.
Lepas tu dia toleh kiri kanan, nak tengok camana boleh ada sirip Ultraman.
Gila lah.
Kecantikan adalah hak milik aku!
Ada Senior Manager panggil aku. Muka serius. Aku ingat nak cakap pasal pemecatan ke, sistem baru ke, atau apa-apa la yang senior manager selalu cakap.
Senior Manager: Amir! Sini kejap?
Aku: Ya? Apahal, kita kena pecat minah tu!
SM: Tak, You cut your hair?
Aku: (garu kepala dengan lembut supaya tak rosakkan sirip Ultraman) Ha'ah.
Lepas tu dia toleh kiri kanan, nak tengok camana boleh ada sirip Ultraman.
Gila lah.
Kecantikan adalah hak milik aku!
Semusim di Syurga: Rambut Baru Aku (Atau Betapa Ceteknya Manusia)
Aku tunggu bebudak intern hari tu di Bangsar. Nak belanja diorang sebab diorang blah dari department aku.
AKu datang awal, jadi aku pergi gunting rambut.
Lepas aku gunting rambut, semua orang melayan aku dengan baik. Macam sial! Sebelum ni, masa rambut aku biasa je, serabai, tengok aku pun macam nak ludah.
Sekarang, lepas letak wax, ada sirip Ultraman kat tengah, manusia marhaen ni semua sembah aku macam Tuhan la pulak. Gila!
Dua hari lepas siap ada sorang minah flirt dengan aku lagi. Dulu tak flirt pun? Tak isap pun konek aku?
Manusia memang cetek.
Cis, kalau aku tau la senang gila nak dapatkan hisapan konek, dah lama aku gunting rambut, dah lama aku beli wax sepuluh tin, lepas tu sapu kat bontot.
Kalau berguna untuk rambut, apa pulak bontot?
AKu datang awal, jadi aku pergi gunting rambut.
Lepas aku gunting rambut, semua orang melayan aku dengan baik. Macam sial! Sebelum ni, masa rambut aku biasa je, serabai, tengok aku pun macam nak ludah.
Sekarang, lepas letak wax, ada sirip Ultraman kat tengah, manusia marhaen ni semua sembah aku macam Tuhan la pulak. Gila!
Dua hari lepas siap ada sorang minah flirt dengan aku lagi. Dulu tak flirt pun? Tak isap pun konek aku?
Manusia memang cetek.
Cis, kalau aku tau la senang gila nak dapatkan hisapan konek, dah lama aku gunting rambut, dah lama aku beli wax sepuluh tin, lepas tu sapu kat bontot.
Kalau berguna untuk rambut, apa pulak bontot?
My Academy Awards Acceptance Speech
This summary is not available. Please
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Jealousy
It’s an old Queen song. And it’s also something that has almost always encapsulated my nonexistent heart.
I mean I am, after all, a Malay. In whatever form. And jealousy is part of our culture.
I have always been gripped with jealousy. I see rich people. Really, I see rich people. I hate rich people because I want to be rich.
Another thing is that I see people who are better than me and I am jealous.
I have only met two women who are better than me at something I like. I have met only one man who has a more complete package (not referring to dicks) than me. And I am jealous of them. Jealous of them all.
My first instinct would be to destroy them. I am, after all, Destruction. I am Fenris the wolf. The wolf beneath the tree. I am Baal, the Lord of Destruction. Yadda-yadda-yadda.
However, in those troubling times, I go back to American History X. The black dude asked Edward Norton, “Has anything you done made your life better?”
Jealousy will still exist. Envy will not go away. But what I do with it is more important than how I feel.
My jealousy will drive me to the brink, to the edge of the cliff and it is at the rim of this discworld where I shall prevail.
I will do better, greater things, or I will die. Well, I will die anyway, so I have nothing lose.
I am envious of rich people, so I will become richer. I hate people who are better than me, so I will be better than them. Or die trying.
I got nothing to lose.
I mean I am, after all, a Malay. In whatever form. And jealousy is part of our culture.
I have always been gripped with jealousy. I see rich people. Really, I see rich people. I hate rich people because I want to be rich.
Another thing is that I see people who are better than me and I am jealous.
I have only met two women who are better than me at something I like. I have met only one man who has a more complete package (not referring to dicks) than me. And I am jealous of them. Jealous of them all.
My first instinct would be to destroy them. I am, after all, Destruction. I am Fenris the wolf. The wolf beneath the tree. I am Baal, the Lord of Destruction. Yadda-yadda-yadda.
However, in those troubling times, I go back to American History X. The black dude asked Edward Norton, “Has anything you done made your life better?”
Jealousy will still exist. Envy will not go away. But what I do with it is more important than how I feel.
My jealousy will drive me to the brink, to the edge of the cliff and it is at the rim of this discworld where I shall prevail.
I will do better, greater things, or I will die. Well, I will die anyway, so I have nothing lose.
I am envious of rich people, so I will become richer. I hate people who are better than me, so I will be better than them. Or die trying.
I got nothing to lose.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Suicide Note
Aku nak makan nasi kandar.
Aku tak kira. Aku nak makan nasi kandar. Aku lapar. AKu mengantuk. Otak aku memerlukan kalori, dan aku dah lama tak bagi otak aku kalori. Aku kasi semua kat triceps aku untuk 'diuruskan'.
Dah. Masa untuk aku makan nasi kandar, sebelum kembali berjuang dalam persada seni negara. Majulah butuh untuk negara.
Aku tak kira. Aku nak makan nasi kandar. Aku lapar. AKu mengantuk. Otak aku memerlukan kalori, dan aku dah lama tak bagi otak aku kalori. Aku kasi semua kat triceps aku untuk 'diuruskan'.
Dah. Masa untuk aku makan nasi kandar, sebelum kembali berjuang dalam persada seni negara. Majulah butuh untuk negara.
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