Saturday, April 20, 2013

Race, Religion, Relationships


I just went to see a stand-up comedy show at Merdekarya. I'm doing a stand-up routine at the next open-mic session for stand-up comedy probably on May 1.

I went there to see what kind of audience I'm dealing with and what kind of stuff is being dished out. I think I might have some things I can do, some stories I can tell.

For now, some theory:

I believe there are only three things that are funny - race, religion and relationships. Politics fall under race and religion, in my book.

Race jokes or racist jokes are only funny if they are just that - jokes. You insert malice and/or spite into them, and you get Michael Richards infamously calling some black people niggers.

All jokes work on the same premise. It's about relating to an audience, not alienating them. Unless that is the joke.

In fact, all of entertainment work on the same basic principle - communication. Not message, communication. The message is the content of the communication and the style is the form, while the medium is that on which the communication is relayed.

I hate people. I really do. But if that is the communication I am sending, all you get back is more hatred. It is possible to hate people, unapologetically, without sending hate. It might be confusing, but this goes to how much of a human being you are - whether you have any depth as a homo sapien or shallow like the monkey you are.

I thought about doing racist jokes, for my stand up routine, but I told them all eight years ago. I've moved on. I'm done. Tyler not here.

I mean, what am I gonna say? Malays are lazy? Hell yeah, I'm lazy. I find the easiest way to do things and this sometimes result in genius and other times in dirty plates accumulating around my workstation.

Bumi rights? Oh yeah, how I get discounts at toll booths. And how every month, Najib comes to my house and dumps a few million bucks of Bumi subsidy.

"Here you go. Buy some shades to wear in shopping malls like a good Malay, Amir. Fuck a milf. Get a kid."

That's funny. Eight years ago. 

About how Chinese people believe they have the best hell cause their hell has banks and a paper-based monetary system that crashed a thousand years ago when they created the movable type printing press and printed hell money into severe devaluation and causing inflation in hell? That's not even funny. 

Or how an Indian with a Proton Wira is a demi-God and an Indian with a BMW is God incarnate? That's not funny. That's just racist.

I also believe only people of that race can make jokes about that race. I'm special cause I'm half Malay and half Chinese. This means I can halfheartedly make fun of both races. And nobody cares about Indians. Not even DAP.

I told all these jokes before. Racist jokes are tired, man. I'm not offended by it, but nowadays, I can hardly find any comedian who can tell a funny race joke in Malaysia. There's too much anger, hatred and spite. Too much edge into it. Too much baggage, hang ups and the jokes aren't even funny.

Nah. 

Religion - now that's funny.