I woke up at 8.30am today, one of my THREE - THREE! - Blackberrys blaring its alarms.
I am not a religious person, but every time I get up, I am thankful that:
1. I am so fucking good-looking.
2. I am so fucking brilliant.
3. I have three - THREE - Blackberrys.
4. I am not a woman.
I am really glad I am not a woman. Cause a woman, can't be satisfied with anything. Even if God sends her to heaven, she's gonna be, "Why is it all so bright and shiny? And green and healthy? God, I need something ugly here, so I look better!"
Buy a woman a car, and she would say, "Why doesn't this car drive itself? Can't this car come with a phone, with a number I could call, and if I call that number, somebody's gonna come and wipe my ass after I shit?"
Oh well. Fuck them. Literally.
I enjoy my morning erection. I am thankful that my dick works. Oh, yeah, baby.
I am thankful that I am smart. I am really, really smart. They say ignorance is bliss, but I do not agree.
I am also grateful that I am smart enough to enjoy being smart without suffering from the need to compete and prove myself every single hour of every single day.
And I am really grateful, that I am really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking.
Benicio Del Toro looks like me.
I am in awe of myself. I do not feel any craving for cigarettes this morning, which is a huge improvement.
I am thankful that I live alone, which means I do almost everything naked.
Ah, I feel like taking a dump. G'day, sir.