I woke up today, perhaps for the first time in years, without the craving for a cigarette. It just wasn't there anymore.
I don't feel angry.
I feel free. Because relying on anything or anyone is a weakness. If you can't drop everything right now and go into the jungle and just live as a caveman or some shit for the rest of your life, then you are not free.
If you are not a wild animal, you are not free.
If you cling to the perception of other people - either a slave to it, or trying desperately to control it (same thing, actually) - then you are not free.
Anyway, fuck the philosophies. I was walking just now, and I didn't cough my lungs out.
I am regaining my energy, and my thought processes are becoming less vague. I experience a kind of clarity.
It will be some weeks before I fully get used to not smoking. But the first few stages are now complete, and I am happy to say that I am happy. And free.
