I spent the better half of this morning, talking to a pretty girl. I am such a fucking stud.
I was like, "Hey, Pretty Girl!"
And she was like, "Hey, Big John Stud!"
"I'm more like, Ravishing Rick Rude," I said. With the butt-clenching kisses to punctuate my remark.
Val Venis: Hello, Ladies!
Pretty Girl: ...
Me: Get off my fucking story, Penis!
Pal Penis: Urrrgggghhhh!
Pretty Girls make everything okay. I mean, I spend the whole week looking at my ugly colleagues. During weekends at least, I get my dose of eye candy and stay sane.