Saturday, January 30, 2010

I Should Start a Motivational Scam (ISSMS)

Motivational courses in the capital, well, most of them, are copies - watered down - from a few formerly big motivation courses.

The 'trainers' or speakers go to these courses, steal what they can, and set up their own companies. At least, that's how it looks to me.

And here's the big secret. They charge higher than the original.

I don't begrudge them a living, but if any of you want to go to any motivational course, here is an alternative: ME.

I have gone through a lot of them, early on in life. Though out of respect, I will not reveal or use any of their methodologies, I shall share with you the main lessons I personally got from these things.

LESSON 1:

I fucking hate well-dressed people.


If you go to a motivational place thing, and you see well-dressed people, those are the fucktards. I fucking hate well-dressed people at motivational shit.

And I don't even call this well-dressed, but I fucking HATE suspenders. If you see a guy in suspenders, and the only thing missing from his stupid '80s getup is a keyboard tie, either beat him up or run! Run!

LESSON 2:

After going through any motivational bullshit thing, people who haven't gone through them will try very hard to convince you that they don't need it.

THAT YOU ARE THE FUCKTARD CAUSE YOU NEED IT AND THEY ARE SUPERIOR BECAUSE THEY DON'T NEED IT.

Well, the only good answer to give is this:

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I DO NOT EVEN GIVE A SHIT IF YOUR MOTHER SLAPPED SOME PEANUT BUTTER ON HER HAIRY PUSSY AND GOT THE DOG TO LICK IT.

LESSON 3:

Buddha Powers Activate!

LESSON 4:

For US$400 million, I'll do anything you want.